New 2 SR.. old to Recovery..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Coffs Nsw
Posts: 80
New 2 SR.. old to Recovery..
Hi all.. Im Abz and Im an alki
Easy to say ... hard to get through my thick head..
A history... sadly mine lol
I have a usual history we all share.... from adolescents on due my actions with drinking... I lost two beautiful husbands...both to my drinking and one ultimately to a drunk driver... this life style lead to 2 stints in a womens medicated rehab.. best thing I ever did.. my life nearly destroyed my son.. but I got it together for him.. and my newborn... I then hit AA with a vengence.. and I had it all. Health and peace.. thats all Ive really searched for since I was a kid..
I then spent 11yrs sober.. got my degree and worked for 10yrs in and adolescent D&A Rehab Unit.. 2 yrs ago.. after yet more violence from a client.. I crashed with later diagonesed PTSD.. I lasted 12 months and picked up again....
Ive lost more in the last 12months.. My yets have come to fruition....
My 16 year old lass... Has had enough and wants out.. cant blame her.. I want out...we are both hanging by a thread.. this was the kid that unlike her brother.. has never had an alcoholic mum.. I as proud of that../I know all I have to do.. 'but' .. yeah I know 'but' is B/S but the fear of detoxing has me.. I just seem so stuck.. all will say ..go to a doctor.. but I havnt left the house for 2months and wont drive drunk...I have a guy I trained at work with AA.. I could ring him.. hell should ring him..lol
Theres that AA saying of being Sick and Tired... Im just sick of being frightened... and in my head Im fightened AA may work
Easy to say ... hard to get through my thick head..
A history... sadly mine lol
I have a usual history we all share.... from adolescents on due my actions with drinking... I lost two beautiful husbands...both to my drinking and one ultimately to a drunk driver... this life style lead to 2 stints in a womens medicated rehab.. best thing I ever did.. my life nearly destroyed my son.. but I got it together for him.. and my newborn... I then hit AA with a vengence.. and I had it all. Health and peace.. thats all Ive really searched for since I was a kid..
I then spent 11yrs sober.. got my degree and worked for 10yrs in and adolescent D&A Rehab Unit.. 2 yrs ago.. after yet more violence from a client.. I crashed with later diagonesed PTSD.. I lasted 12 months and picked up again....
Ive lost more in the last 12months.. My yets have come to fruition....
My 16 year old lass... Has had enough and wants out.. cant blame her.. I want out...we are both hanging by a thread.. this was the kid that unlike her brother.. has never had an alcoholic mum.. I as proud of that../I know all I have to do.. 'but' .. yeah I know 'but' is B/S but the fear of detoxing has me.. I just seem so stuck.. all will say ..go to a doctor.. but I havnt left the house for 2months and wont drive drunk...I have a guy I trained at work with AA.. I could ring him.. hell should ring him..lol
Theres that AA saying of being Sick and Tired... Im just sick of being frightened... and in my head Im fightened AA may work
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome Abz 
I can identify with being frightened - frightened I wouldn't find sobriety and equally frightened I would.
But if you're like me, you already know what the drinking life holds for you, and sounds like you know how much better the sober life is too.
It takes action to get out of the cycle. If you're frightened of detox then you know what you have to do....
If you can't drive, get a taxi - but do see a Dr...or have a word with your counsellor if you're still dealing with the PTSD...it's a good first step....
and then, if it worked for you before, maybe hit AA with a vengeance again?
You'll find a lot of support here - welcome!
D
I can identify with being frightened - frightened I wouldn't find sobriety and equally frightened I would.
But if you're like me, you already know what the drinking life holds for you, and sounds like you know how much better the sober life is too.
It takes action to get out of the cycle. If you're frightened of detox then you know what you have to do....
If you can't drive, get a taxi - but do see a Dr...or have a word with your counsellor if you're still dealing with the PTSD...it's a good first step....
and then, if it worked for you before, maybe hit AA with a vengeance again?
You'll find a lot of support here - welcome!
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Coffs Nsw
Posts: 80
can identify with being frightened - frightened I wouldn't find sobriety and equally frightened I would.
But if you're like me, you already know what the drinking life holds for you, and sounds like you know how much better the sober life is too.
It takes action to get out of the cycle. If you're frightened of detox then you know what you have to do....
If you can't drive, get a taxi - but do see a Dr...or have a word with your counsellor if you're still dealing with the PTSD...it's a good first step....
and then, if it worked for you before, maybe hit AA with a vengeance again?
You'll find a lot of support here - welcome!
I cant taxi.. the hospital is in the next town...
I rang my aa contact.. he talked to myself and belle
He picking me up
Bell said she wants a day off to br 16
that hurt
Um I cant talk to my councellor...
But if you're like me, you already know what the drinking life holds for you, and sounds like you know how much better the sober life is too.
It takes action to get out of the cycle. If you're frightened of detox then you know what you have to do....
If you can't drive, get a taxi - but do see a Dr...or have a word with your counsellor if you're still dealing with the PTSD...it's a good first step....
and then, if it worked for you before, maybe hit AA with a vengeance again?
You'll find a lot of support here - welcome!
I cant taxi.. the hospital is in the next town...
I rang my aa contact.. he talked to myself and belle
He picking me up
Bell said she wants a day off to br 16
that hurt
Um I cant talk to my councellor...
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
to SR.I too fight with PTSD and alcoholism. It is very frightening and painful. The difference is I did not find out about the PTSD until I was 5 years sober. It has been a bumpy ride but I have been fortunate not to have picked up again because of it. I hope you find a solution to your problems. AA works for me. Try not to be afraid because as you stated it is hurting those that love you the most so maybe it is time for a positive change in your life.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Welcome Abbzi! I think you know exactly what you need to do. Heck, seems like you've been through it all. You can't have that many years of recovery and not know. Your fear is stopping you from a decision you need to make. Until you get to that place, I don't know what I can say to convince you to get some help NOW.
There will be no more excuses you can make to yourself, once you decide to get some help. Take that step!!
Don't let alcohol ruin the relationship with your daughter. Most importantly don't let alcohol define you. Your so much better than that.
Best Wishes To You!
There will be no more excuses you can make to yourself, once you decide to get some help. Take that step!!
Don't let alcohol ruin the relationship with your daughter. Most importantly don't let alcohol define you. Your so much better than that.
Best Wishes To You!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 64
Well glad you are here and I guess I am being a bit selfish in taking the lesson that sobriety can end at anytime and we can return to the hell if King Alcohol.
I sure hope you can find strength within and from outside to start back to sanity. The insanity of alcohol can be stopped as you know probably better than I.
Go to AA , see a doc , the withdrawal can be managed but suspect you again know more about this than I
My prayers are with you
I sure hope you can find strength within and from outside to start back to sanity. The insanity of alcohol can be stopped as you know probably better than I.
Go to AA , see a doc , the withdrawal can be managed but suspect you again know more about this than I
My prayers are with you
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
I'm glad you called your AA friend and he's coming to get you. That's a step in the right direction.
If it was me, and you asked me to drive you to the next town, I would do that for you too (not sure if he was taking you to a meeting or to the doctor).
Happy to hear you took a step forward today, I hope you keep pushing and break this cycle - it is vicious and after reading your post I don't need to say anything about the serious nature of this illness. And welcome to SR.
If it was me, and you asked me to drive you to the next town, I would do that for you too (not sure if he was taking you to a meeting or to the doctor).
Happy to hear you took a step forward today, I hope you keep pushing and break this cycle - it is vicious and after reading your post I don't need to say anything about the serious nature of this illness. And welcome to SR.
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