jalapenolover

Okay, I am not missing but been missing this board! My AS on the other hand finally got outta jail on a PR bond. Knowing he cannot live with us went to a homeless shelter where he is supposed to have a curfew, drug test weekly, etc Well.. long story short - he called last week upset that someone 'drugged him' at the shelter and tried to steal his backpack. While trying to uncover the story he hung up on me and we havent heard from him since. Hmm... very very difficult situation! I almost feel better not talking to him all the time and hearing all the drama. But.. I am worried sick about him and if he is okay (co-dependency?) A friend of his texted me that he called her and said he has left the city. Not sure I believe it, if so... I think he may be in MORE trouble now. I continue to pray daily for his safety but.. I feel so stuck. Yes, I want to know he is okay but at the same time, I almost feel more sererene not hearing from him.

outtolunch

Hate it when that happens.....

Good for you for not rescuing him.

Remember to breathe. This mom stuff is not for weenies.

Chino

It's being a mom If it consumes you and wrecks day to day functioning, then it's probably turned to obsession.

EJG123

I know how you feel. My AD has caused/survived a lot of drama and the what-ifs used to really terrify me. However, she has gone on so long that I just trust that she will be okay or that whatever happens must be in God's plan. I'll pray for you and your son.

jalapenolover

@Chino - It no longer wrecks my day to day functioning, thanks to Alanon! @EJG123 - Thank you, and I like your reasoning, I am def. getting better but he always atleast called to let us know he was okay. I think he is just mad at us for NOT rescuing and wanting details, rather than running to save the day. I never thought I'd say that having my son in jail was such a blessing.

sojourner

jalopenolover: You bring up a good point about him being angry at you as the reason for not calling.

In my own experience, my AS used to call occasionally and he ALWAYS answered my phone calls - esp since a lot of times it meant a free lunch.

But in the last 6 months or so, he has really gone no-contact with me. And I am pretty sure the reason is that it has finally sunk in that I'm not going to be helping him with the things he thinks he is entitled to receive from me. And he is sick of my message about "you're root problem is drugs/alcohol, and I will help any way I can if you want help for that." So yes, as someone earlier said, this mom thing is not for weenies. Because many times our beloved addicts, as they get deeper into their addiction, get angry at anyone who does not go along with their program and then totally disengages.

Hang in there. You're not alone in this. There are many of us here who are going through this same thing. He still has an ever-present HP who this entire time has been positioning our beloved addicts to be open to a path that leads out of addiction and into life. And his HP will use anyone and anything to get that message to your son - cards in phone booths, other people, billboards, messages on the back of cars. I even heard one recovering addict say that he was lying homeless in a park when some placard fell out of the tree above him and landed on him. It was some piece of paper that had something printed on it that made him decide it was time to get some help for his drug problem. At that time, he had moved thousands of miles away from his parents.

Our addicts are truly not alone.

Kindeyes

jalapenolover
Another Mom who is currently in a very similar position.....just stopping in to give you gentle hugs and let you know that I understand all of the feelings and emotions you are feeling right now.

I believe that our sons are in God's hands and that they are learning whatever lessons they need to learn. We don't always get the priviledge of being made privy to God's plan. So we enjoy peace and serenity where we can and save our strength for the times when we will really need it.

You and your son are in my prayers today.

gentle hugs
ke

JMFburns

jp,

Thoughts and hugs being sent your way.

Such wonderful replies to your post, I don't feel there is anything more to add, other than to let you know I heard you and am by your side.

Another Mom

jalapenolover

I just love this board! Thanks so much to everyone and the kind responses. Now we have an added twist. Got a call last night from a therapist in an ENTIRELY different state. Seems he caught a bus and fled! Now you all only know the condensed version of my story but she went on about how my son has a 'dual diagnosis'. I don't deny that he may be bipolar but the rest is rather confusing. He seems to have Schizoaffective disorder everytime he is in trouble with the law. I would feel awful if he really has it and I have been discounting it but... I find it hard to believe when he wont stay sober long enough for anyone to get to the root of the problem.

He will be heading back to our hometown this week and hopefully living in a Christian Home and has 'claimed' via telephone that he is ready for help. I have heard it so many times that its hard to believe.

Must we always run to them when they claim they are ready for help? I will pick him up from bus station and deliver him to the Christian Home. I feel he must do the rest on his own. Thoughts?