I screwed up. :( :( :(
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 144
I screwed up. :( :( :(
I was out of town for several days.
The first evening, I was offered drinks before and during dinner, and turned them down.
The second evening, more wine was offered -- and I still turned it down. Not a problem.
The third evening, I turned it down even when it kind of drew attention to myself.
Then I was headed home. Weather created big problems with my flights. We were diverted to a different city, I missed my connection to get home, no more flights were leaving, and I had to get a hotel to stay overnight in a place I never intended to be.
I was exhausted and stressed and hadn't eaten since breakfast, except the little bag of pretzels from the plane. It was almost 10:00 when I got to the hotel's restaurant after checking in -- thank goodness the kitchen wasn't closed yet. Well, I ordered a dinner AND I had two glasses of white wine.
Then I could hardly sleep -- even though I had to wake up at 5:30 to catch a morning flight... I kept wishing it had been a bad dream, and that I'd wake up the way I had before thinking, "Oh good -- that was just a dream. I didn't really drink." So I felt REALLY guilty. I was past 30 days, and was right on the same day with newwings here, and now I'm off track and set back.
I didn't drink anything more, and haven't had any alcohol since. Yeah, it was only two glasses of wine so I didn't abuse it, BUT -- I know that if I go down that road, even if I don't get drunk for days or weeks, sooner or later I'd get out of control and wake up with a wicked hangover and a heavy dose of shame.
So now I'm back to day 2, for cryin' out loud.
The first evening, I was offered drinks before and during dinner, and turned them down.
The second evening, more wine was offered -- and I still turned it down. Not a problem.
The third evening, I turned it down even when it kind of drew attention to myself.
Then I was headed home. Weather created big problems with my flights. We were diverted to a different city, I missed my connection to get home, no more flights were leaving, and I had to get a hotel to stay overnight in a place I never intended to be.
I was exhausted and stressed and hadn't eaten since breakfast, except the little bag of pretzels from the plane. It was almost 10:00 when I got to the hotel's restaurant after checking in -- thank goodness the kitchen wasn't closed yet. Well, I ordered a dinner AND I had two glasses of white wine.
Then I could hardly sleep -- even though I had to wake up at 5:30 to catch a morning flight... I kept wishing it had been a bad dream, and that I'd wake up the way I had before thinking, "Oh good -- that was just a dream. I didn't really drink." So I felt REALLY guilty. I was past 30 days, and was right on the same day with newwings here, and now I'm off track and set back.
I didn't drink anything more, and haven't had any alcohol since. Yeah, it was only two glasses of wine so I didn't abuse it, BUT -- I know that if I go down that road, even if I don't get drunk for days or weeks, sooner or later I'd get out of control and wake up with a wicked hangover and a heavy dose of shame.
So now I'm back to day 2, for cryin' out loud.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: TN
Posts: 162
Keep your head up and try to figure out what triggered you to drink so you'll be better prepared next time.
Do NOT let that voice in your head convince you that you managed it this time and you can continue to drink. I've listened to that voice often in the past. It ends up just where you indicated.
Don't concern yourself so much about the days. It's not a contest, it's about quality of life.
Do NOT let that voice in your head convince you that you managed it this time and you can continue to drink. I've listened to that voice often in the past. It ends up just where you indicated.
Don't concern yourself so much about the days. It's not a contest, it's about quality of life.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
Kudos for catching this, as a total trainwreck isn't required to stay on this side of things.
Might want to be especially careful for a while. These things may or may not hold lessons for us regarding choice in drinking and how powerful our decisions prove out to be in real life.
Might want to be especially careful for a while. These things may or may not hold lessons for us regarding choice in drinking and how powerful our decisions prove out to be in real life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 144
Originally Posted by BHF 
Keep your head up and try to figure out what triggered you to drink so you'll be better prepared next time.
Do NOT let that voice in your head convince you that you managed it this time and you can continue to drink. I've listened to that voice often in the past. It ends up just where you indicated.
Don't concern yourself so much about the days. It's not a contest, it's about quality of life.
Do NOT let that voice in your head convince you that you managed it this time and you can continue to drink. I've listened to that voice often in the past. It ends up just where you indicated.
Don't concern yourself so much about the days. It's not a contest, it's about quality of life.
Isn't there some acronym about never getting too hungry, tired, angry, and something else? I was feeling all those bad things.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 144
Originally Posted by cabledude
Kudos for catching this, as a total trainwreck isn't required to stay on this side of things.
Might want to be especially careful for a while. These things may or may not hold lessons for us regarding choice in drinking and how powerful our decisions prove out to be in real life.
Might want to be especially careful for a while. These things may or may not hold lessons for us regarding choice in drinking and how powerful our decisions prove out to be in real life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 47
Glad you're back! Don't beat yourself up...BUT...do remember what happened, and how you felt afterward? Do you want to go back to feeling those negative feelings again.
You don't have to drink again. Even if you want to. Take a deep breath. Get some rest, go to a meeting (these are all just suggestions, not commands).
Hope you feel better soon.
fragileflower
You don't have to drink again. Even if you want to. Take a deep breath. Get some rest, go to a meeting (these are all just suggestions, not commands).
Hope you feel better soon.
fragileflower
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
We do understand FD...alcohol is pretty much everywhere and all it can take is a rough day and the opportunity - sounds like you pretty much had the day they coined the HALT acronym for (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired).
The important thing to do is learn from this - & remember you haven't lost all you've learned over the last month or so
Welcome back
D
The important thing to do is learn from this - & remember you haven't lost all you've learned over the last month or so
Welcome back
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((((FD)))) - you had 2 glasses of wine, felt awful about it, came here and told on yourself, and am back on recovery road. There's a lot of positive stuff in that - you didn't continue to drink, you didn't act as if it never happened, and you're reaching out. This can be your last "day 2"
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
You are still my quit buddy, FreeDance! Don't obsess too much about the days, - and this is really important to me that I say this; we have been on this journey together, no matter what. 36 days ago we changed our lives for the better, and we are going to continue doing so. This is the crazy wheel of recovery and self exploration. If none of us can learn from this and how we feel, we haven't learnt a thing. I can tell how far you've come in 36 days and I know you won't throw it away on 2 glasses of wine...keep pushing on, friend. xxx
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