Raptor

Hello fellow members

I purchased the "big blue book" from my last AA meeting and in the process of reading it. Im finding the meetings very hard to attend for a couple of reasons but primarly because I find them boring.. They talk about the same old same old every time.

Question? If I follow the 12 steps at home, will this place me at risk of regression?

I go once a week at the moment and still feel like an outsider... Nobody has approached me and said a word 2 me

Can you guys help?

Ant

Dee74

I'm not an AA member...but have you tried different meetings, Ant?

D

Rusty Zipper

hi rap

the problem for going it alone,

is our minds tend to favor what we like or want.

then it's back to "self"

as mentioned,

seek out some different meetings

good wishes

Raptor

Thanks guys...

I will try another venue and will give them a bash.

keithj

That is unfortunate. But, it's very common in meetings that don't focus on the AA solution to alcoholism. Same people showing up night after night, talking about their 'problem of the day', glum faced and cynical.

As you'll see in that Big Book, AA's solution to the condition you find in those meetings is contained in that book. There are a number of people practicing that solution (and experiencing the results of it) in the 12-Step forum on this site. That would be a good place to start.

Crow3000

I found this to be the case with some meetings. Although I think some people like the repetition. Whatever works for you. Shop around. I hate meetings where everyone just talks about how much they love their higher power over and over and over..... Drives me nuts.

Lots of variety where I'm at though, so it's easy for me to dish out this advise.

Luckyv2

Just because you do it at home doesn't mean that you are not doing it. You are here are you not?

Meetings are important, yes they seem to say the same thing each time in our heads, however, if you listen closely enough without judgment you might just hear that one thing that might be different each time. One thing that helped me also was to listen for the message and not the messenger.

What I had to do was to close my eyes, and listen to them. It seemed to help.

Now my health doesn't allow me to get out of my room much at all anymore. However I am still staying Sober And Clean. I do a lot of things on the Internet which helps me to stay Recovered Just For Today One Day At A Time.

also they do have on-line meetings everyday somewhere on the Internet. You can attend them throughout the day.

Just my Opinion, I'm sticking to it for now, however, always teachable and willing to Change.

Anna

Raptor,

I hope you find a meeting or a way to maintain your sobriety.

And, we are always here for support.

nandm

I encourage you to try different meetings. During my time in AA I have come to realize that not all meetings are healthy meetings the same goes for people in recovery. I firmly believe that there is a meeting out there for everybody.

I would also encourage you to make sure you raise your hand if they ask if you are new to recovery. This many times will get people to talk to you. Remember that many people get so caught up in themselves that they forget how uncomfortable it is to be a newcomer. I try to make it a point when I see an unfamiliar face to introduce myself and talk to them a bit to make them feel more welcome. I only do that in my home group though as that is the meeting I attend regularly enough to know a new face. Also if you raise your hand when they ask if anyone is new to sobriety. This will also help others get out of themselves and talk to you.

I know it is extremely hard to walk up to someone you don't know and introduce yourself but I would encourage you to do so if you hear someone talking that either says something you can relate to or sounds like they have they type of recovery you seek. Once you do this will open the door for more people to welcome you and talk with you. Unfortunately many people get complacent, forget how scary it is to be new, or let their fears of talking to new people come before welcoming the newcomer. Please don't get discouraged.

AA has worked for me. I know that I could not have done it without the meetings and the people in AA. They have helped me build a strong support system that has many times saved my a**. I do hope you are able to find a more welcoming meeting or someone who will welcome you.

Mcribb

I would try different meetings or just gut it out. Of course I was ready to do whatever was nessessary to stay sober bored or not

Kjell

Hi Raptor-

The problem with "going it alone" is that we then deprive ourselves of an important piece of recovery - other people

If it's my thinking that is off, how will I know when my thinking is off?

Kjell~

Enoy

Like all others have saied , many times you have to try various meetings to find a few that "click" I had found one years ago , but when I returned to AA I was going to one that was convenient for timing and right after work. Well I didn't really feel comfortable in that meeting and really didn't " get with it " there.


I found the old meeting place , although it's "mostly" all new people there , but I feel right at home with them. Most of them are older and have more sobriety time , but we have some younger folks like around my age in there as well.


One thing too I can suggest if it's an open meeting .... Bring up that very subject.


something like " How do you all feel is the best way to encourage newcomers to feel welcomed and accepted ? "


lol See how many say exactly what they haven't done ... You never know , you might totally change that entire groups dynamics

oak

Lots of people get sober and stay sober without meetings.

I personally find meetings helpful. I have gone to lots of different meetings to find the ones that I most like.

StPeteGrad

When I was brand new in recovery I went to an AA meeting house downtown -lots of drama, etc. It helped me through the first hard days. I soon started branching out to see what other meetings were like. One very close to home I really didn't like, one at a church at 6 am Saturday morning was nice, but that's about it. I've attended my second meeting at another place, much smaller group, people a little more like me, from my suburb, etc. I feel very comfortable and energized leaving there. I think I'm going to make it my new home group - I will still go to other groups to keep my meeting count up, don't ask me why, it has worked for me for 100 days and I'm not going to fix something that's not broken- there's enough of me already that needs fixed.

I wish you luck on your quest - I promise there is a meeting for everyone. You just need to be curious. You will always be welcomed through the doors of AA even if you've never been to that meeting. We don't judge, we share our experience, strength, and hope. Find a topic and try to stay with that topic.

Raptor

Hello All

Thanks for all the helpfull advise. I think the solution lies in experiencing different groups and find one that suits "me". 1 thing is certin that I must attend.

A