refrigerator

of sobriety...and about 3 weeks until I go back to college and try to graduate this summer.

Feels really good though. I know I made the right decision of coming home to sober up, even though I could have graduated this spring. However, I had a pretty bad drinking problem and probably wouldn't have graduated anyway.

Going back this summer has been the plan for a while now, but now that it's sinking in as the date approaches I'm becoming SCARED TO DEATH. I'm scared I'll drink (although I don't want to), I'm scared I won't do good in my classes, I'm scared about how my friends will act around me or if they even associate with me at all, and finally I'm scared of letting my family down, again. I've wasted so much time and money in college, i really can't screw this up.

I have about 3 weeks of working my sh*tty job left. I just want to go back and get this over with!! I'm freaking out!

Wish me luck.

Dee74

Hi refrigerator

Congratulations on 4 months

I think fear is a biggie for most of us- look at it it rationally though...you have 4 months under your belt...I'm sure they've been some ups and downs there, so you obviously know what to do already...

you're already connected here to support 24/7...I also know any campus I've been on has some kind of recovery support groups, and some kind of counsellors, available

Noones saying you need to do this on your own...I understand the fear but I think you'll be fine

D

EmeraldRose

Fear is only the unknown. That is it. Once you go, once you conquer, once you begin...I have faith that you'll be fine. This is a new beginning for you...a new adventure sober...embrace it, enjoy it, live it. Congratualtions on your 4 months -that's awesome.

Ranger

Congrats on 4 months. You've needed more than luck to achieve that!

PapaNico

Just keep the $#!tt% job in mind when you feel the urge... use that as your fork in the road when you must make your decision. This place is an awesome tool to help you keep your focus. Also, I recently graduated from college (Dec. 2010) and have found out who all of my true friends really are. Honestly Fridge, I speak to one or two kids out of the flock I used to roll with during my raging days at school-- and they are the ones who seem to have grown into the true graduate ranks. They have legitimate jobs and are actually working toward achieving the goals they laid out 4-6 years ago. Hang tough and make that final push lad; it'll feel so good to have your school days behind you!

FreeDance

It sounds like an exciting time for you!! Try to focus on the positives -- you're doing great things for yourself and your future is bright!! Hang in there!!

Missy7

You can do this. School will be so much better this time. Love this period of your life because it doesn't go on forever. And be present for it! Don't be drunk or hungover. Feel it. I'm excited for you!

Impurrfect

Congratulations on 4 months!!! I think it's fairly normal to feel fear (or at least it is for me, when I'm doing something different) but I'm with ((Dee)) - surely this past 4 months has had its ups and downs, and you've gotten through it.

I also agree about keeping the ****** job in mind...school is your ticket out of there. I'm probably a gazillion years older than you, but I just registered for 5 classes this fall. Am I worried about doing it and working? Yup, but I've been through some MAJOR ups and downs the past 4 years of recovery, including going back to school, and it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Supercrew

Great job! Don't drink!

There is nothing to fear but fear itself, unless you start drinking again. You can do it, stay strong and good luck!

SparklingSeven

Good luck refrigerator! You know you will be fine.

Well done on the 4 months - really great!

Stu.