refrigerator

It's been over 3 months, and the point where you look back on when you were drinking, and you say to yourself "meh...it wasn't that bad, I made it through it, I'm still alive today...etc"

A reason for relapse as he said. I am not about to drink, though. I can't...I live with my parents right now and me drinking would be absolutely devastating to them. I don't even want to drink, anyway.

But I'm not worried about right now, but about the next few months. I'm moving back to my apartment two hours away, and I'm going to attempt to finish my degree this summer. It will be quite liberating if I can do it, and still not drink this summer. My problem is, I need to build up enough mental strength to not do this. Any advice? Thanks everyone!.

Missybuns

When I took the approach to "not do this" early in my attempts to stay clean, I failed. It's a focus on the negative. To gain perspective on a possitive, productive motivation may prove more rewarding.

Example: When I went to the club (yes a bar with drinking) to hear my brother play guitar in one of his multiple bands. I went with my attitude focused "I'm not going to drink"....I drank. I took a serious look at why I put myself in that situation. I realized my real motivation was to hear my brother play guitar. When I realized that hearing him play was my real motivation, I chose to go hear him play in gigs that weren't in smokey alcohol establishments. These gigs are fewer and further inbetween, however, my recovery is more important. See, it's not so much mental strength as much as it is a personal decision and a changed attitude with a clean motivation.

Peace,
Missy

refrigerator

clean motivation....I like that. And it's something I have, I think. I NEED to graduate college and go get a job, and stop putting a burden on my family. Many of my peers in my major are out making good money right now. If only I could finish up this summer and join them, I would be elated and so would my friends, family, teachers, etc.

Dee74

I would always rationalise myself back into drinking...coming here every day helped me get through those kinds of thoughts...

being about to read about other peoples struggles, or indeed go back and re-read my own, helped continually reinforce the idea I did have a real problem.

D

Decahedron

one big thing in building your strength against cunning, baffling, powerful alcohol is to have somebody else that's been through it, someone you can look to for sage advice, someone you can call when you feel like having a drink; a sponsor. Many recovering alcoholics, consider getting a sponsor one of the most important things they did when they began their recovery. Be picky. Choose a person you feel a connection with. We've all been through the same thing and had the same cravings as you, it's tough sometimes. Good luck and God bless

coffeenut

Keep coming back. Keep reading and posting and building your sobriety. You are really building a new you. SR was instrumental in helping me do that.

Congratulations on your sober time!

LaFemme

I pretty much changed my way of thinking to see alcohol as anything but fun, enjoyable, good for you, whatever, anything positive essentially.

The only times the old reflex thoughts about drinking pop up I immediately remember that it was as awful, brutal, soul destroying as I remember. I can't imagine hitting a point where I look back and honestly think "It wasn't so bad".

GettingStronger2

I don't look back and think it wasn't that bad. It was bad enough for me to quit, and it was bad enough that i have not had any slips or relapses. Don't want to go back there.

What i have done is work on changing myself. not a day goes by that i do not work on my recovery in some way. Learning about the disease, learning about myself, changing myself, growing closer to God, working with other alcoholics, or coming here.. .all a part of my growth in recovery. Those things keep me sober, and help keep me away from thinking it wasn't that bad, and i can handle a drink. Or even want one.

Keep coming back.