christyj

I have been reading on this forum for some time but have never posted. I am the 60 year old disabled mother of a 33 year old alcoholic son. I have been dealing with his alcoholism for almost 20 years and feel he is in the end stages. I think I too am in my end stage as I cannot deal with it any longer. I will try to make a long story short. Son began to experiment with drugs in early teens. I court committed him 3 times while he was still underage and it did absolutely no good. He had many scrapes with the law and at some time I became a little wiser and stopped getting him out of jail. I retired in 2005 from a large corporation and went through my entire pension payout paying for him to live 350 miles from me (stupid, I know) I am now financially destitue and unable to work due to health issues. He has been court committed by the police twice in the last year but as soon as he sobers up and gets a little stability he is released. In March he went to a treatment center voluntarily for detox. His dependency on alcohol was so bad he went into severe DTS and somehow managed to leave the treatment center. He wandered the streets of a town 150 miles from home and was finally picked up by police. At the hospital he attacked one of the nurses(MALE) that was trying to prevent him from leaving. After 2 days (no insurance) I was called to go and pick him up. His mind has not been the same since then. He hallucinates, rambles constantly about things that didn't happen etc. The Dr. in the ER told me to buy him vodka and try to regulate how much he drank until I could get him into a treatment program. He was talking about going to detox again when I took him to family Dr. to get blood pressure medication. The Dr. loaded him up with xanax which made him more than crazy. He has already had gran mal seizures after being picked up for PI, and was rushed to the hospital via ambulance from jail. He hasn't worked in 10 years, never had a drivers license and mentally is about 12 years old. He has become hostile and aggresive towards me and no amout of walking on egg shells can make it better. I have already tried adult protective services and in Texas you cant get a mental health commitment on the basis of substance abuse. If I don't get him alcohol he will have seizures, the Drs told me the next one could be fatal. He won't agree to go to detox, and has no desire to stop. In the meantime I am mentally, physically, spritually and finanacial bankrupt. Just can't do this anymore. Anyone have any suggestions on where I can turn for help? Yes, I do attend alanon.

tjp613

I'm very sorry you are having such an incredibly difficult time

I don't know where in Texas you live, but I live in Houston. Here we have the Council on Alcohol and Drugs which has a comprehensive program to assess and refer individuals in crisis. Even if you don't live near Houston, it's probably worth a phone call -- perhaps they can refer you to state or local services that can help you. http://www.council-houston.org/Publi...sp?page_ID=109

artsoul

I can't imagine what you are going through, christy. I'm a recovering alcoholic, but I know others in this section will want to help you (it's just a little quiet at this time of night).

I just thought I would post a link for you (Texas Dept. of Mental Health and Substance Abuse):
How to Get Help - Mental Health

If he has no income, could he apply for Medicaid? (at least he could get medical or even long-term care if things continue to get worse, which they will if he doesn't want help).

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do to force him to get better. But since you're going to AlAnon, you already know that. I'll say prayers for your son and for you......

Buffalo66

Welcome to SR

You will find support her.

Please read around the forum, aand the stickies at the top of the page. Some helpful posts are on the way.

chicory

Christy,

I am so sorry for the painful life that you and your son are leading. This is a great place.
I would just say do not give up on finding outside help. Dont stop calling- physicians, mental health , for there must be something that they can do for your son- med wise? And for you too. The suggestion of him getting medicaid, having him declared disabled, perhaps that would bring some help. I think that alcoholics/addicts can be declared disabled in some instances, and can get help of some sort. in ohio anyway.
my thoughts are with you. i understand how hard it must be for you.
perhaps you can talk to someone in mental health capacity and they can give you some ideas, and help for your stress and depression also?

I feel for the both of you, and am sending prayers that things get better very soon. keep posting!

chicory

keepinon

Well I am very concerned about YOUR health and safety.The situation you are in sounds unbearable and unpredictable..what would happen if you no longer allowed active addiction in your home?Are you willing to set any boundaries regarding him staying in your home and drinking himself to death?He may or may not get better, but you can.