Hal9000

Hello. I am confused and don't know what to do. I'll explain my problem and any and all help is appreciated. I have been seeing someone for sometime now. I had suspected something was wrong when she made promises to be somewhere and didn't show... or she said she would call and didn't... I am very involved with this person "home" wise. She would take certain bags with her everywhere she went. Except tonight. I looked in a bag that she left behind, and you don't have to tell me yah its an invasion of privacy, but I had to know what she was hiding from me in my own home.
I found a makeup bag in this one bag. Inside I found some paraphernalia.
A little bit about me. I have no idea about this sort of stuff. That's why I'm on here. The things I found are these: A glass pipe with a round bowl at the end.. Little baggies with powder residue(about 30). a lighter. a small straw. and aluminum foil folded up with burn marks in the middle when unfolded.... This comes as kind of a shock to me, but then again she has been showing signs of disappearing for hours on end.. Empty promises about coming to meet me and usually being 1 to 8 hours late. Please help... I love her. Plain and simple. How should I go about talking, fixing, helping the current situation and not loosing her in the process. Thank you for reading.

Dee74

Hi Hal

I realise it must have come as a dreadful shock to you.

I have no experience to share in this situation, but I know you'll find a ton of experience hope and support here.

Welcome to SR,
D

Hal9000

thank you. a little bit more about me... I just got out of a long marriage where my ex was using. her drug of choice was pills... I don't know how to proceed with this situation. I took the "stuff" and did away with it. I don't want those things in my home. I don't know if I should wait to see if she says something. or if I should ask questions... This comes as a total shock to me as I have been seeing this person for almost a year...

Kindeyes

Hal
Welcome to SR.....you've come to a great place with great people.....all of whom have loved ones who are addicted.

The items you found are the tools of the trade for someone who is involved in illicit drug activities.

One of the things that is so difficult about addiction is that we (the loved ones) want to come between the addict and their drug of choice (DOC). When we do that, we quickly become "the enemy".

I have found that reading material to help me understand addiction, the DOC, addictive behavior but most importantly, how the disease of addiction affects others around it (me and other family members).

I hope you stick around. There are so many here who understand what you are feeling right now. You are not alone.

gentle hugs
ke

Chino

I'm guessing you tried to help your ex and nothing worked. Have you considered Alanon or Naranon? The best piece of advice I received here was to "work the recovery program you wish they would."

Do you have a clear picture of what you want from an intimate relationship?

Abundance

Did you talk with her yet?

Tell her your boundaries. And MOVE ON!