CandyShoppe

Hello,
I'm new to this and would appreciate some help. I've always known my husband had issues with pot but recently his behavior has started to sprial out of control. He's run into trouble at work, been fired, I've found out he stole money from his employer and he's lost weight, has a frequent runny nose and cough, he lies constantly and tries to hide things constantly. He experienced a back injury a few years ago. At the time he did not (to my knowledge) take the prescription for painkillers that his doc gave him. So this is why I suspect he's abusing pain killers. I've plain out asked him if he is using prescription drugs and he denies it. He does however admit that he has a problem with the pot and has sought out a treatment program for this. I still just feel there is something more. The above symptoms could be other things but I can't shake this feeling that it's more. Please share how you found out your loved one was using these types of things and what signs I should look for other than the above listed things! Thank you for your help!!

enodm

Welcome candyshoppe!! Trust your girl intuition... If something seems wrong, there probably is something wrong!! With my expierence ...Pot does not cause a person to loose weight, if anything you gain weight from the munchies. Pot does not cause a runny nose either. Yes, it can cause a cough though. BUT it sounds like there is much more to it than smoking a few joints.
My situation is with my 20yr old son..He denied using drugs over and over, I finally said OK prove it and I gave him a drug test. Well he failed miserably so there was no denying that. He has been abusing drugs for over 2 years now and it's been a mess!!

This is a great place to get advice!!!
Good Luck!!!

SunriseSunset

Hi Candyshoppe,
The symptoms you listed sound like possibly cocaine or maybe even heroine. My son, who recently passed away, was at one time snorting pain killers (oxy). However, he did not lose weight from it, nor did he have nosebleeds. He actually ate alot of junk food when he was under the influence. As for other signs, you could look through his things to see if you find any cut straws (pill snorters like to use cut up straws). Prescription pain killers are relatively inexpensive. So if he is going through alot of money, it could possibly be cocaine or even heroine or other hard drug. Drug addicts are known for stealing and/or pawning belongings for their drug money, so be aware of that.

This is just my two cents worth from my experience with my son and his friends. Your situation could be totally different. It could be something else entirely or maybe even a medical condition. Keep trying to talk to him. Maybe he will open up about what is going on with him. But if he is using, it is common for users to lie.

Good luck. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

outtolunch

Addiction is progressive.

Kindeyes

Candyshoppe
Welcome to SR.

Unfortunately we can't tell you whether your husband is abusing painkillers or not. I suspect that the truth will be revealed in time. As outtolunch mentioned, addiction is progressive. It doesn't get better all by itself. So if he's addicted, you'll know soon enough. But if your gut says something is haywire.....it probably is.

Stick around. Learn all that you can and prepare yourself with knowledge.

gentle hugs
ke

4everchanging

I have found my gut is usually always right! I have had 2 ABF's and both abused cocaine and opiates. The number one sign I started to notice was the nodding out. They would sit there and their eyelids would get heavy as if they were about to fall asleep. Also look for pinpoint pupils they are very noticable. With cocaine look for huge pupils. My ABF will have a lot of energy when high on opiates like he can't sit still and he will eat me out of house and home. Eating 3 popcicles in a row, a whole jar of pickles, ect. Can you look at his cell phone records? Calling the same number a bunch of times in an hour with times at a minute or two each. I found needles in celing tiles and on top of duct work in the basement. Also never having money or stealing things. Hope this helps a little.

CandyShoppe

Thank you EVERYONE! Thank you so much! I'm so glad I found this place. It's just really great to have people to talk to about it who don't know me or him and won't judge me or my situation. Sunsetsunrise, I'm so sorry for your recent loss! And to everyone else I'm sorry that we have or are all going through this when clearly none of us willingly signed up for it.
Alanon or naranon or some therapy is in my very near future. There is no way (in my mind) that a pot addiction would cause him to behave the way he's been. I never would have suspected cocaine or crack, but now I know what to look for. I haven't seen any nodding off either. Despite having lost weight I do find strange things in the trash sometimes... what struck a cord was 4everchanging saying that her ABF would eat 3 posicles in a row... I just found 3 rappers in the trash two days ago for popsicles and he was the only one home from 12 to 4. So maybe what I'm looking for is a combination of different drugs. His problem does seem to be progressing and I'm sure all or most will be revealed at some point, it's just hard to sit and wait and constantly fear how bad this could be. I have my children to think about and now I don't trust him to be around them at all. I'll soon have to start answering questions about that.... it's a disaster really as I'm sure you've all felt the same way!
Thank you so much again and I look forward to communicating with you all regularily.

smacked

Does it matter what it is? It sounds like his behavior is unacceptable to you, and the fact that you don't trust him around your children speaks volumes. He could be snorting purple dinosaurs or bologna sandwiches, doesn't matter really does it?

I'm glad you're looking into some help for you, and I'm glad that you're aware that you need to start protecting your children.

bluebelle

If you suspect something is wrong, that it probably is. It sounds like your gut is telling you there is a problem. As others said, it probably doesn't matter what the problem is--it sounds like you are saying that his actions are a problem. The fact that he stole money and was fired sound like a big warning flag. People often steal in order to get drugs. Whatever the reason, this sounds like unacceptable behavior. I think you should be really careful because he may steal money from you. Do you have a joint bank account? This may be a time to secure your own finances. Many people on this site have had loved ones steal from them. Addicts have also been known to steal items, pawn them, and use the money for drugs.

CandyShoppe

You're right Smacked! It really doesn't matter what he's doing, and I will just trust my gut that things are not right. I'm a firm beleiver in that. I just don't want to jump to conclusions about him and either A) push him in a worse direction, or B) have my kids resent me for removing them from the situation when we later learned there wasn't much going on to worry about and I was just overreacting. I guess it's just a risk I will have to take though since what I hear on this forum and what I deep down really know is that he's on a really bad path and and there's not much I can do about it.

CandyShoppe

Great suggestion Bluebell! Luckily we don't have a joint account and all my finances and passwords are kept to myself.

pacificsunrise

hi CandyShoppe,

welcome to SR. i read your post a few days ago and have been meaning to respond. my husband also had a runny nose for the longest time, long before i even ever suspected anything. he is using cocaine.

i would most definitely tell you to go with your gut feeling, b/c from my experience it had proven to be right more than wrong. also, i am not familiar w/ pill abuse too much, but do know that all my strong prescription pills (given after c-section) magically started disappearing after i came home from hospital. when questioned, my husband said that he had one to try what it did (yeah right, i was missing more than half a bottle at that time) and that he had sold the rest to his friend who's also using cocaine.

so i'm not sure if my husband is using everything that he can get his hands on, but it seems that it is usually more than just one thing. my husband and his friends all also smoke pot. also losing weight and money troubles seem to point to coke.

so i don't know if this helps any and i'm sorry to hear about your situation.

hugs and prayers and keep posting.