Important question!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: austintown ohio
Posts: 58
Important question!!!
O.k. so i was doing well(keep reading) havn't drank since wednesday...none to very little shakess and have a 17 yr history of 9 to 12 beers a night and a more recent history of whatever i can(gallons of wine)...i went to 3 meetings yesterday...and all was fine...me and my wife have been taking some time away from each other and she was supposed to spend the night...no i was p!ssed bought a 12 pack got reddy to drink!!!!! I drank one beer...very honest one 12 ounce beer....i don't drink one beer??? The only thing i can figure is guilt for letting the people i have been seeing at meetings down?? why did i do this...anyone know???
Back to day 1.
Back to day 1.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Because you've been drinking way too much for way too long, and a part of you is ready to quit drinking and start living your life? Maybe you're doing it for yourself, not the folks in meetings? I hope so.
Another part of you is ready to buy a 12-pack the first excuse you get (like your wife not spending the night). That's the part you need to be worrying about.
Good job on the meetings, Mesh. I remember how it is being stuck on the treadmill. Keep it up and put some distance distance between you and that last beer, odaat.
Another part of you is ready to buy a 12-pack the first excuse you get (like your wife not spending the night). That's the part you need to be worrying about.
Good job on the meetings, Mesh. I remember how it is being stuck on the treadmill. Keep it up and put some distance distance between you and that last beer, odaat.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Drinking is a coping mechanism. It goes astray in alcoholics, but it is a coping mechanism nonetheless. You have been using alcohol to cope with things for far too long, so it was a natural reflective move on your part. Stress? Disappointment? Fear? Happiness? What do we do, reach for a drink. It is reflexive.
The only way you can stop that, is to treat your disease, so that you no long fall back on the coping mechanism you have. You must learn new ways to deal with emotions, both good and bad.
When you do that, your first thought or action will not be to get a drink.
The only way you can stop that, is to treat your disease, so that you no long fall back on the coping mechanism you have. You must learn new ways to deal with emotions, both good and bad.
When you do that, your first thought or action will not be to get a drink.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: austintown ohio
Posts: 58
Hard when it's on every freakin corner...but that's not my problem. I want to quit for me...i just know it's odd that i drank one and crashed? And no. I am not questioning my alcoholic status...step 1 and two were a breeze...i am powerless. guaranteed!!!
I could of lied and said great one more day down!!! I can't...why lie!!!
I have to dissect everything(except for my spelling) and really want to know what this is about?
I could of lied and said great one more day down!!! I can't...why lie!!!
I have to dissect everything(except for my spelling) and really want to know what this is about?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Mesh, i hear you. It sucks. I can't go to the grocery store without being faced with my drug of choice. And it isn't even as easy as avoiding the beer/wine/liquor aisle. They have it displayed everywhere.
Thing is, you treat the disease, and you will not be bothered seeing it anymore.
You can do it, if you are willing.
Thing is, you treat the disease, and you will not be bothered seeing it anymore.
You can do it, if you are willing.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I too returned to drinking after I decided to stop.
I consider it was a "left over" from my active addiction
I started again on Day 1....and kept going forward.
Yes...you too can win over alcohol....
I consider it was a "left over" from my active addiction
I started again on Day 1....and kept going forward.
Yes...you too can win over alcohol....
You want to dissect it? Peel the layers? You could kill the patient.
Its as simple (and sometimes impossible) as not taking that drink. Then, in a sober fashion, peel those layers carefully, to the root of why you even want to drink.
Until you quit drinking, dissecting your spelling might be more productive. What is this about? YOU!
I can relate. Friday was very stressful at work. Sometimes when I'm working I think "no wonder I need to drink".
Usually on the way home I would pick up some wine. This time I let myself experience the stress. I drove home very slowly, trying to relax. By the time I got home I didn't feel upset anymore. Be patient and let time take them away.
When you get those lousy feelings just go with them. If you're mad, stressed, disappointed let yourself feel that. It won't kill you, but alcohol will.
Best wishes
Usually on the way home I would pick up some wine. This time I let myself experience the stress. I drove home very slowly, trying to relax. By the time I got home I didn't feel upset anymore. Be patient and let time take them away.
When you get those lousy feelings just go with them. If you're mad, stressed, disappointed let yourself feel that. It won't kill you, but alcohol will.
Best wishes
Hi mesh
most of us returned to drinking...I found it a very sad and soulless experience because I knew it was no answer and it was wrong for me...I dunno, I expect you did too?
I don't think you really need to know tho to keep moving forward.
I think you're far better looking at the factors that caused you to buy the beer in the first place, mesh.
Just be glad you stopped at one.
D
most of us returned to drinking...I found it a very sad and soulless experience because I knew it was no answer and it was wrong for me...I dunno, I expect you did too?
I don't think you really need to know tho to keep moving forward.
I think you're far better looking at the factors that caused you to buy the beer in the first place, mesh.
Just be glad you stopped at one.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
You said you've been to AA meetings. Hopefully someone there is telling you that you are defenseless against the first drink-- that even sober, we have moments where we just drink anyway. They are baffling, yet they keep happening, despite all our logic and willpower. Only through a spiritual awakening can we find the power to stop.
That is the AA philosophy and program-- not that we harness our collective willpower to not drink.
That is the AA philosophy and program-- not that we harness our collective willpower to not drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: austintown ohio
Posts: 58
I took one beer too seriously.
So i went out later that day grabbed a bottle of wine and tried to roll my car just so the people around me that see an idiot that relapsed looked like i had a disease...i wanted a broken anything...just to look diseased...as i see me!!! Car didn't roll...complettly screwed the car up but that is secondary...it wasn't a well planned thought i just did it in 2 seconds...spent the night in the hospital.
How many times to i have to say.................day 1???
How many times to i have to say.................day 1???
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
I am sorry to hear this, but well, you said it.. .you have a disease. Question is, you going to work on helping yourself get better, or are you going to stay in the throws of it? Your choice. You can beat it, you never have to have another day 1 again. You never have to do this again.
Hope you are feeling okay. I am glad you did not hurt anyone else and that you seem to be alright.
Question: do you have a sponsor? If so, call. Now. If you don't, get to a meeting and ask someone.
Hope you are feeling okay. I am glad you did not hurt anyone else and that you seem to be alright.
Question: do you have a sponsor? If so, call. Now. If you don't, get to a meeting and ask someone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: austintown ohio
Posts: 58
1st off...thank you...2nd it was a split decision to do what i did...i do remember the last thought that went through my head was to make sure noone could get hurt except me...i only wanted to hurt myself but it was truly my 1st suicide attempt and i meant it...i've always said that i'll never have an 'attempt" i will just do it. Luck? i dunno...not even a dui. The cops knew i was drunk...i just left the car and walked away then called them and came back to the car??? Naturally i didn't tell them the whole story.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Louisville,Ky
Posts: 8
I have had sooooo many Day 1's its not funny. I don't worry about it any more...I did AA and was sober for 2 years...I went back out. I still haven't been back to AA. I had a very strict (old school) sponsor, but the whole concept of counting days sober is very "goal oriented" in my mind and I have a tendency to hit a goal and CELEBRATE. I get that counting the days is for giving hope to newcomers, but it messed with me bad. Anyway...just keep trying. Don't put to high expectations...just keep it simple and think about the moment...good luck
I don't count the days as a goal because my goal is the rest of my life. Counting days to me is simply an achievement and remembering the first day and the reason I quit stays fresh. Never want to go back there again.
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