I'm new here...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 11
I'm new here...
Okay, here goes...
Today was, yet again, a day where I am remorseful for the night before. I'm tired of not remembering what I did or how I behaved. Every time this happens I tell myself that I'm "never drinking again," but it usually only lasts a couple of days.
It is incredibly hard to admit, but I think I have a problem, and I have no idea how to stop. The few people that I confide in tell me not to worry that I don't have a problem, going out was fun, etc...but inside I know something is wrong with me.
I'm lost. But I'm glad I found this forum.
Today was, yet again, a day where I am remorseful for the night before. I'm tired of not remembering what I did or how I behaved. Every time this happens I tell myself that I'm "never drinking again," but it usually only lasts a couple of days.
It is incredibly hard to admit, but I think I have a problem, and I have no idea how to stop. The few people that I confide in tell me not to worry that I don't have a problem, going out was fun, etc...but inside I know something is wrong with me.
I'm lost. But I'm glad I found this forum.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome! Glad you found us, too!
I used to make those promises often (and break them within a day or two when I felt better). If you think you have a problem you probably do....... black outs are pretty scary and dangerous anyway.....
This is a great place to come - we really do understand what it's like. I wouldn't have believed it, but life is actually so much better sober. Keep posting and reading - you don't have to live with regrets anymore!
I used to make those promises often (and break them within a day or two when I felt better). If you think you have a problem you probably do....... black outs are pretty scary and dangerous anyway.....
This is a great place to come - we really do understand what it's like. I wouldn't have believed it, but life is actually so much better sober. Keep posting and reading - you don't have to live with regrets anymore!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi and Welcome,
Please know that you are not alone in feeling scared.
It's very hard for other people to understand how difficult it is for us and how we really do know that we have a problem. I think early sobriety is a time of change because stopping drinking is only the first step in the recovery process.
Focus on not drinking today and take a look around here and read and learn.
Please know that you are not alone in feeling scared.
It's very hard for other people to understand how difficult it is for us and how we really do know that we have a problem. I think early sobriety is a time of change because stopping drinking is only the first step in the recovery process.
Focus on not drinking today and take a look around here and read and learn.
Moment of Conception
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Planet Tragedy
Posts: 453
It is incredibly hard to admit, but I think I have a problem
...but inside I know something is >>wrong with me<<.
Your feelings are possibly still too close too yesterday from a hangover i suspect, thats normal, not wrong.
Relax take a breath, your in a good place here.
Best of luck :-)
to the group
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Ooohhh yeah, I know whatcha mean....I'm never drinking again once that headache hits...but then ya feel better then its back to the booze. After 30 years it gets tiring.
Ppl don't understand -if you think you have a problem chances are you're right!
Glad you're here.
Ppl don't understand -if you think you have a problem chances are you're right!
Glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Welcome Chicostate! You've come to the right place. In addition to coming to this site for daily support, I also go to this site XA-Speakers - The lights are on!
One thing that helped me, and continues to, are the Joe and Charlie tapes. If I were you, I'd start at the Dr.'s opinion and just listen. I always thought something was wrong with me because of the way I drank, or I didn't have enough will power, or I was being deviant in some way... this podcast will answer the why?
I too was NEVER told by one single person that I had a problem. Everyone told me that I never even looked or acted drunk. This is because I was good at it. I had to be, because if I weren't good at being drunk and acting normal then people would ask me to stop and I couldn't stop. I DRANK NO MATTER WHAT! Good day, bad day, get a promotion, get fired, it never mattered. I couldn't possibly imagine a life that didn't involve alcohol. You see for me, the true misery was when I was sober. Sure, I'd get hangovers, I do stuff I wasn't proud of, but we all do that... for me being in my own skin was not something I cared to feel. I was so uncomfortable just being me, that drinking was the only way I could handle it. So, I'd take the first drink, trigger the allergy (you'll find out what this means in the podcast) and I'd be off on another spree. Along the way, I'd reach a very high BAC, lose my inhibitions, possibly do dumb ****, and the guild and shame comes. Make sense?
The reason we feel guilty the next day is due to our blood alcohol content. The reason we get really high blood alcohol content is because we are alcoholics. When we drink, our bodies actually crave more and more of it. You could take Mother Theresa, Oprah Winfrey, Ronald Regan, and Celine Dion and if you gave them all a .3 BAC THEY'D DO DUMB SH!T TO!!!!
Once I learned this, I was much more optimistic about my future. My job is to not take the first drink. That is where AA and this site come in.
Keep coming back man and check out that site if you get a minute. I promise you won't regret it.
RW
One thing that helped me, and continues to, are the Joe and Charlie tapes. If I were you, I'd start at the Dr.'s opinion and just listen. I always thought something was wrong with me because of the way I drank, or I didn't have enough will power, or I was being deviant in some way... this podcast will answer the why?
I too was NEVER told by one single person that I had a problem. Everyone told me that I never even looked or acted drunk. This is because I was good at it. I had to be, because if I weren't good at being drunk and acting normal then people would ask me to stop and I couldn't stop. I DRANK NO MATTER WHAT! Good day, bad day, get a promotion, get fired, it never mattered. I couldn't possibly imagine a life that didn't involve alcohol. You see for me, the true misery was when I was sober. Sure, I'd get hangovers, I do stuff I wasn't proud of, but we all do that... for me being in my own skin was not something I cared to feel. I was so uncomfortable just being me, that drinking was the only way I could handle it. So, I'd take the first drink, trigger the allergy (you'll find out what this means in the podcast) and I'd be off on another spree. Along the way, I'd reach a very high BAC, lose my inhibitions, possibly do dumb ****, and the guild and shame comes. Make sense?
The reason we feel guilty the next day is due to our blood alcohol content. The reason we get really high blood alcohol content is because we are alcoholics. When we drink, our bodies actually crave more and more of it. You could take Mother Theresa, Oprah Winfrey, Ronald Regan, and Celine Dion and if you gave them all a .3 BAC THEY'D DO DUMB SH!T TO!!!!
Once I learned this, I was much more optimistic about my future. My job is to not take the first drink. That is where AA and this site come in.
Keep coming back man and check out that site if you get a minute. I promise you won't regret it.
RW
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Welcome ChicoState
Yeah I knew something was wrong with me too - no matter what others said telling me I was fine... I knew I could do better, live better, be better...this place helped me find my way to doing that...I know we can help you too
good to have you here
D
Yeah I knew something was wrong with me too - no matter what others said telling me I was fine... I knew I could do better, live better, be better...this place helped me find my way to doing that...I know we can help you too
good to have you here
D
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I too was a blackout drinker for years...it was very scary
and I did all sorts of risky dangerous things.
The best news is..when I quit drinking...the blackouts immeidately stopped.
My drinking friends also thought I had no problem but I knew I did.
Drinkers want everyone to drink with them...
Welcome to sR.....:
and I did all sorts of risky dangerous things.
The best news is..when I quit drinking...the blackouts immeidately stopped.
My drinking friends also thought I had no problem but I knew I did.
Drinkers want everyone to drink with them...
Welcome to sR.....:
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by RV GTO 
Interesting screen name, I graduated from Chico State
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 11
Wow. Such amazing feedback, I'm feeling very encouraged by the kind words and advice. I had to step outside of my comfort zone to even post, but I am glad that I did, this community here is a great resource.
It's comforting to know there are others that know where I'm coming from. Many, many thanks.
It's comforting to know there are others that know where I'm coming from. Many, many thanks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Irish
Posts: 552
The AA Rooms are Full of the Greatest People you will ever meet.
Stick with the Winners........I Blacked out for years,I lied to cover Blackouts,I stole for Booze,I broke my parents Hearts,I always owed Money,I spent every Cent I earned on Booze.I Spent months in Re Hab...visiting it 13 times.I had ECT,Became a Drug Addict.
Just would not throw in the Towel............Some of my Story is Printed above.
Welcome Chico
Stick with the Winners........I Blacked out for years,I lied to cover Blackouts,I stole for Booze,I broke my parents Hearts,I always owed Money,I spent every Cent I earned on Booze.I Spent months in Re Hab...visiting it 13 times.I had ECT,Became a Drug Addict.
Just would not throw in the Towel............Some of my Story is Printed above.
Welcome Chico
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Welcome Chico. Stay close to SR..post often. The support here in part will help you to stay alcohol free. You are at the beginning of the process by realizing you have a problem. Next step is action! I had to change people and places ..replace drinking time with other activities. Glad you joined us..
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