Is Denial That Strong?
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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Is Denial That Strong?
I revoked my AS's bail 2 months ago. He was using heroin and wouldn't get treatment. He will not call or write me. I do write him. He writes to his grandmother and says he wished I had thought about the consequences of revoking the bail before I did. It is as though he has no clue what part he had in this. He never mentions the drug use. Is denial that strong? Or does it take months for them to accept that they have a problem?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
He wished YOU had thought about the consequences? That's laughable! Sounds like he is exactly where he needs to be right now.
Denial... unfortunately it can last a lifetime. Some addicts never get it. But at least you aren't preventing him from feeling the full consequences of his behavior. That's the right thing to do - even if he doesn't like it.
Denial... unfortunately it can last a lifetime. Some addicts never get it. But at least you aren't preventing him from feeling the full consequences of his behavior. That's the right thing to do - even if he doesn't like it.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Originally Posted by Trinia21 
I revoked my AS's bail 2 months ago. He was using heroin and wouldn't get treatment. He will not call or write me. I do write him. He writes to his grandmother and says he wished I had thought about the consequences of revoking the bail before I did. It is as though he has no clue what part he had in this. He never mentions the drug use. Is denial that strong? Or does it take months for them to accept that they have a problem?
never his fault, nothing is ever his fault.
i hope that eventually they both have to face facts. I dont know what that takes. but i know that I am not willing to discuss this with him anymore. and that is probably why he does not say this stuff to you, cause he knows you know better.
selfish is the word that comes to mind.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Trinia
Yes....unfortunately.....denial is that strong. Amazing that he points out your need to "think about the consequences". That is a priceless example of the type of thinking that goes with addiction.
You're ok. If he needs a little "time out" to think about things, enjoy the serenity for a little while. You did what you needed to do to protect you.
As for whether it takes months to finally realize they have a problem, sometimes it takes longer. My AS has been battling his demons for about 12-13 years. He knows he has a problem. He's admitted he has a problem but the addiction is so strong, it keeps sucking him back in.
Addiction is that strong.
gentle hugs
Yes....unfortunately.....denial is that strong. Amazing that he points out your need to "think about the consequences". That is a priceless example of the type of thinking that goes with addiction.
You're ok. If he needs a little "time out" to think about things, enjoy the serenity for a little while. You did what you needed to do to protect you.
As for whether it takes months to finally realize they have a problem, sometimes it takes longer. My AS has been battling his demons for about 12-13 years. He knows he has a problem. He's admitted he has a problem but the addiction is so strong, it keeps sucking him back in.
Addiction is that strong.
gentle hugs
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
Yup..its that strong... I fully agree with hello kitty..feeling the full consequences is exactly what he needs..and now he knows you say what you mean and mean what you say..can't changehim, but you can have integrity and hold your boundaries , modeling healthy behavior for him.
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