Sistersforever

WOW, I made it to this day,,I cant believe it! I have tried so many times before, but never had success. This time was soooooo different for me..I will finally share my shameful secret of why I chose to finally quit....my daughter had surgery on her face, it was frcatured p ayn indoor field hockey, that night I was up with her cuz she was crying in agony, but there I was high as a kite, feeling no pain. It broke my heart into a million pieces...the next day I called her dr and got her on pain med strongr than what they sent her home with. She then slept for 2days, on and off. Finally she was comfortable, and I was left " broken". Tphat was my turing point. I went out bought all my vitamins etc. and began my journey. It was rough, but it was the right thing to do.......now I just have to get over hatimg myself for letting it get this far, thats goin to be the hardest part of all. I am so embarassed, but it does make me feel better to say my faults.
I also went an bought a journal, that helps get it all out, yrs of physical and mental abuse, then drug abuse.
I deserve this, I tell myself, no matter what I have done,steal money from paying bills etc ro buy pills, everyone deserves a second chance, and I am not going to beat my self up over this, for fear of a relapse.........heres to day 6

chicory

Thank you for sharing. People do things on drugs that they would never dream of doing sober/straight. I hope that your little girl is doing well.
Congrats on your six days! prayers for your continues success, and determination.

hugs
chicory

reggiewayne

Good for you! You're in the right place here! You'll find a lot of support here and a ton of posts that I'm sure you can find your story in. Keep it up!

tallcactus

Be kind to yourself.
You are their for your child now and that says something.
Congrats on your 6 days, you can do this.

whostolethesoul

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Good deal SisForever! Im a day shy of your success (on you heels). I called my buddy on thursday nite after I sent him an email...(I asked him if he got the email, lol). ANyhow, he has been sober now for over 3 years....and I told him that I was on day 3 and was scared of day 4 and 5 bc that is when I usually blast off (always). This when I start to feel better, start to compromise my intentions, and begin to use again. His advice to me was to not count days. Just think about today. I admit that it is hard in the begining not to count days, but he told me that the counting starts to disapate - I didnt discount his advice verbally - I believe if you gotta count, then count...what ever works. I counted to 77 once and fell down....Im only gonna count to 1 this time though. Keep going, and DONT beat your self up about your past. If you want, apologize to loved ones you wronged, if not, just move forward....your still breathing, still loving, and still (as of this morning) SOBER.

WSTS