Getting Back into it after a very short lived Relapse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 112
Getting Back into it after a very short lived Relapse
Hi everyone,
So recently I had about 4 and a half months under my belt and my life was going great. I felt like I actually knew myself and that my life was going in the right direction. Just this past weekend of the superbowl I broke up with my girlefirend of about a year and I handled it really well at first. I realized that maybe this is what I need to do in my life and that God will help me figure things out. Well the next day I got in my own head and ended up drinking quite a few beers and didn't reach out for help which is one thing I really need to work on. By the grace of god I woke up to my cell phone ringing and it was my sponsor and for some reason I answered it. Since that Monday last week I have been at a number of great meetings, and even more importantly have had some really good fellowship paired with a bit of family time and I even went to a new church by me that I really liked. Now......I am actually really happy, because I have never gotten the strength to pull myself out of a situation like this before in my life (and I know it was not really me that did it) and there is a new feeling of strong sobriety in myself this past week. But, I still am having a really hard time dealing with the lost time which I know is stupid but I can't take my mind off of it. I also feel slightly embarassed to aknowledge (if or when) I make it to any sobriety milestons in the future. Any advice and or comments would be most appreciated, and thank you for taking the time to read this if you do so.
So recently I had about 4 and a half months under my belt and my life was going great. I felt like I actually knew myself and that my life was going in the right direction. Just this past weekend of the superbowl I broke up with my girlefirend of about a year and I handled it really well at first. I realized that maybe this is what I need to do in my life and that God will help me figure things out. Well the next day I got in my own head and ended up drinking quite a few beers and didn't reach out for help which is one thing I really need to work on. By the grace of god I woke up to my cell phone ringing and it was my sponsor and for some reason I answered it. Since that Monday last week I have been at a number of great meetings, and even more importantly have had some really good fellowship paired with a bit of family time and I even went to a new church by me that I really liked. Now......I am actually really happy, because I have never gotten the strength to pull myself out of a situation like this before in my life (and I know it was not really me that did it) and there is a new feeling of strong sobriety in myself this past week. But, I still am having a really hard time dealing with the lost time which I know is stupid but I can't take my mind off of it. I also feel slightly embarassed to aknowledge (if or when) I make it to any sobriety milestons in the future. Any advice and or comments would be most appreciated, and thank you for taking the time to read this if you do so.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 112
Thanks for the warm welcomes, and for the support. I am still having trouble with the fact that I now only have a week instead of almost 5 months.....Is this just my ego showing its ugly head and I should just be humble or would this also bother most of you? I feel like I need to let myself know I let myself down, but I also do not want to beat myself up too much because then it just makes things worse. Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 34
I had a relapse too 5 weeks after I first got clean. Its a learning experience and it is part of the disease! there is no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed NOBODY is perfect. People relapse all the time. The important part is you got back on the wagon, and you did it quickly. Some people go back out there for years at a time!... I had a counselor in treatment that always said that even if you do relapse as long as they become shorter and further apart you are making progress. Not to say you should relapse, but it happens. Everyone will accept you for who you are and they don't care if you relapse 10 more times as long as you come back. "The only requirement for membership is a DESIRE to stop using"
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi VolcomStone51
welcome
I think we can get too hung up on some aspects of sober time sometimes - having 5 months would not make you 4 months and 3 weeks 'better' than you are now
It's not a time based heirarchy - at least not how I see it.
It's about what we learn from the journey - that where the value lies IMO - not how much time we take in doing it.
I don't believe we ever lose sober time - unless we choose to throw away all we've learned
D
welcome
I think we can get too hung up on some aspects of sober time sometimes - having 5 months would not make you 4 months and 3 weeks 'better' than you are now
It's not a time based heirarchy - at least not how I see it.
It's about what we learn from the journey - that where the value lies IMO - not how much time we take in doing it.
I don't believe we ever lose sober time - unless we choose to throw away all we've learned
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
