How does an addiction show you hate yourself?
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
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If they gave a sh$% about themselves they wouldn't abuse, destroy,manipulate , lie, steal, everything they came in contact with..alot of addicts care so little about themselves they hope they die ..if you truly love yourself, you don't become your own abuser..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Florida
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My impression is more that they are willing to hurt themselves and others, pushing the edge and seeing how far they can go to have their high or fix. Not really caring how they are disrespecting themselves. More like an act of ambivilence about the self and others.
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
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Originally Posted by keepinon 
by the end my daughter was so repulsed by herself she no longer wanted to live or see her family
same with my daughter....she got to the point that she hoped the next fix would end her life.
Thank God she took that bottom and turned it into recovery instead.
Last edited by Serenity Bound; 02-09-2011 at 11:37 AM. Reason: adding
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
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Because they know they are disrespecting you in the process?
How much booze and drugs I had left.
Where were the next coming from.
and
How was I going to get it.
My need, my cravings, were what I focused on 24/7.
My addiction was MY MASTER and I was ITS SLAVE!
J M H O
Love and hugs,
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
I think in the beginning there is not self-hate. IN the beginning there's just all positives about getting high, being with other people, being able to let one's guard down, etc.
But over time it seems that the drugs/alcohol experiences changes. Some folks observe that in themselves and there is their incentive to quit. But those unfortunates whose brain has become accustomed to the drugs/alcohol in an insane way don't see quitting as a viable option for them. And somehow in that I think is where the self-hate gets a foot-hold. Of course, in the case of my AS, he does not see it that way right now. But I'll bet when he gets some clean time and good recovery going he will be able to see it that way. But, I don't know, I've heard recovering people tell their story, and self-hate is not part of it. Maybe extreme self-centeredness but not self-hate.
Hope that helps. If not, just forget it.
But over time it seems that the drugs/alcohol experiences changes. Some folks observe that in themselves and there is their incentive to quit. But those unfortunates whose brain has become accustomed to the drugs/alcohol in an insane way don't see quitting as a viable option for them. And somehow in that I think is where the self-hate gets a foot-hold. Of course, in the case of my AS, he does not see it that way right now. But I'll bet when he gets some clean time and good recovery going he will be able to see it that way. But, I don't know, I've heard recovering people tell their story, and self-hate is not part of it. Maybe extreme self-centeredness but not self-hate.
Hope that helps. If not, just forget it.
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,254
Hate to say it but in many respects I think many addicts do 'hate' themselves. But they're the addict they are because they don't have the guts to take themselves out which amplifies their personal problems even more because they can't end OR fix their problem so they're in a purgatory of sorts.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Thing is, I spent a lot of time focusing on her.
The time would have been spent better focusing on me.
But.....that focusing on the other is part of the process, we finally hit our bottom and get help for ourselves.
The time would have been spent better focusing on me.
But.....that focusing on the other is part of the process, we finally hit our bottom and get help for ourselves.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Jose, Ca
Posts: 492
I don't necessarily think that we alcoholics/addicts hate ourselves when we are active in our disease. I feel that we more or less hate what we've become, where our disease has taken us and certain qualities of our lives. When I got into recovery I felt that I didn't love myself. To an extent that was true, there were qualities and aspects of my life that I didn't care for at all. But there was still a bit of self love left in my heart, for if there was not chances are I would have never walked into the rooms of alcoholics anonymous. I truly did hate what I had become and where my disease had taken me as I did not feel useful to the world. I was very suicidal and am very fortunate that I made it to the rooms. Now I know a better life and my kids have a father in their lives. I couldn't have come to appreciate life had it not been for the power, the people and the program.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
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Ah, that's the codie thing. 
If you look closely though, you'll find a good percentage of my posts are simply a welcome....even when someone asks for advice in their intro post I'll more often than not limit my response to a welcome. Progress, not perfection.
If you look closely though, you'll find a good percentage of my posts are simply a welcome....even when someone asks for advice in their intro post I'll more often than not limit my response to a welcome. Progress, not perfection.
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