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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome to the forum, firstattempt.
Have you ever tried to "scale back" as you say? Most of us here found that trying to control our drinking was pretty much a futile attempt. It's actually easier (and of course, healthier and better all around) to be abstinent.
You'll find lots of support and information here to help you - so keep reading (and posting too)!
Have you ever tried to "scale back" as you say? Most of us here found that trying to control our drinking was pretty much a futile attempt. It's actually easier (and of course, healthier and better all around) to be abstinent.
You'll find lots of support and information here to help you - so keep reading (and posting too)!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Trying to "scale back" or "moderate" my drinking is something I diligently attempted for four and a half years. Trust me, not drinking at all is much easier.
If you are drinking that much every day and haven't been able to "scale back" on your own, you probably are not be capable of doing it.
If you are drinking that much every day and haven't been able to "scale back" on your own, you probably are not be capable of doing it.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Welcome to SR
I tried scaling back for many years before I realized how insane what I was doing was. A good definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I would always start out my attempts at moderation well. But each and every time my drinking would progress right back to being out of hand.
I finally realized that I am someone who can not control my drinking and need to abstain to have any sense of sanity in my life. It took a recovery program to help me learn to get sober and stay sober. It also took a recovery program to help me realize that sobriety can be a wonderful thing instead of the boring life I presumed it would be.
I do hope you find the answers you are seeking here at SR. Again welcome to our forums
I tried scaling back for many years before I realized how insane what I was doing was. A good definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I would always start out my attempts at moderation well. But each and every time my drinking would progress right back to being out of hand.
I finally realized that I am someone who can not control my drinking and need to abstain to have any sense of sanity in my life. It took a recovery program to help me learn to get sober and stay sober. It also took a recovery program to help me realize that sobriety can be a wonderful thing instead of the boring life I presumed it would be.
I do hope you find the answers you are seeking here at SR. Again welcome to our forums
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi firstattempt
Put me down as another fail at 'scaling back'.
I think many of us try to return to older drinking patterns and find we simply can't.
There's no tips or tricks - either we can...or we can't.
I fought for years against that reality so I know how hard it is to accept.
But if you've found already you can't scale back, you may have to look hard at what you need to do next.
You'll find a lot of support here tho - welcome
D
Put me down as another fail at 'scaling back'.
I think many of us try to return to older drinking patterns and find we simply can't.
There's no tips or tricks - either we can...or we can't.
I fought for years against that reality so I know how hard it is to accept.
But if you've found already you can't scale back, you may have to look hard at what you need to do next.
You'll find a lot of support here tho - welcome
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Welcome to SR Firstattempt,
I tried just about everything over the years to "scale back" Changing what I drank, where I drank, weaker drinks, not starting to drink until (whatever time), not drinking on Tuesday, and on and on. All futile, in the end.
Just accepting I can not drink the "first one" .......one day at a time, has been the most important initial thing for me. Working on a strategy to actively persue what really works (for me) in recovery is what I'm focused on today.
I tried just about everything over the years to "scale back" Changing what I drank, where I drank, weaker drinks, not starting to drink until (whatever time), not drinking on Tuesday, and on and on. All futile, in the end.
Just accepting I can not drink the "first one" .......one day at a time, has been the most important initial thing for me. Working on a strategy to actively persue what really works (for me) in recovery is what I'm focused on today.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
It may sound like bad news, but I don't think you'll find many success stories with moderation here. I spent years trying to scale back; it never worked. I don't know what was more exhausting, drinking heavily or trying to moderate.
The good news: you'll find a lot of people who are really, really happy they stopped trying to control drinking, and gave it up altogether. Count me among them. It wasn't easy because drinking was a central part of every night for me... but it was so worth it.
Welcome to SR. Keep reading and posting whatever you decide!
The good news: you'll find a lot of people who are really, really happy they stopped trying to control drinking, and gave it up altogether. Count me among them. It wasn't easy because drinking was a central part of every night for me... but it was so worth it.
Welcome to SR. Keep reading and posting whatever you decide!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Another moderation failure here! I tried to tell myself all the usual. Only on weekends..cut out the hard..just go with beer. Ending up with beer AND a whiskey back. Toss in an occasional weekday here or there. All of the sudden it's everyday! When I wasn't hungover I was drunk. Finally just admitted I had no control over alcohol..it controlled me. Now I am happy and sober. I think most of us have tried controlling it. It was like my last war cry before I tossed in the towel.
Welcome FA!! Hope to hear more from you!
Welcome FA!! Hope to hear more from you!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
After trying to moderate for about 7 years and being unsuccessful, I decided to try and raise my tolerance and stay loaded all of the time. I figured no one would ever know I was drunk if they never saw me sober. That is some crazy logic right there, and I made it work for the better part of 2 years, but then the job of getting loaded everyday was harder than staying sober to begin with. That's when i decided that quitting was my only option.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Rooster Poot, Texas
Posts: 76
Hey Girl... Found you right off. First clickaroo! 
I'm going to be the oddball here & say I never tried to scale back or cut back & the idea of quitting never entered my head~~ you know me, so you know I love beer, I loved drinking, it was so much a part of my personality that I couldn't imagine me without it, & then it began to seem to be the only thing 'good' to me in my life & I clung to it harder, protected it, even.
But this weird thing happened. It turned on me. And by then there was no possibility of cutting back, controlling it~~ I couldn't go 2 hours without a beer unless I wanted to be in bed shaking & sweating & puking. And with 10 months sober I can tell you the idea of ME personally being able to drink a little like a normal person is a ridiculous concept. I'm an addict. I don't do anything~~ANYTHING~~halfway. Sex, drugs, playing guitar, alcohol, writing... I go overboard on everything. I think that's the majority of alcoholics; I'm run of the mill with this crew. ( ;
Good to see you here. Seriously. You'll get lots of support & ideas. Ju cahn doo thees!
I'm going to be the oddball here & say I never tried to scale back or cut back & the idea of quitting never entered my head~~ you know me, so you know I love beer, I loved drinking, it was so much a part of my personality that I couldn't imagine me without it, & then it began to seem to be the only thing 'good' to me in my life & I clung to it harder, protected it, even.
But this weird thing happened. It turned on me. And by then there was no possibility of cutting back, controlling it~~ I couldn't go 2 hours without a beer unless I wanted to be in bed shaking & sweating & puking. And with 10 months sober I can tell you the idea of ME personally being able to drink a little like a normal person is a ridiculous concept. I'm an addict. I don't do anything~~ANYTHING~~halfway. Sex, drugs, playing guitar, alcohol, writing... I go overboard on everything. I think that's the majority of alcoholics; I'm run of the mill with this crew. ( ;
Good to see you here. Seriously. You'll get lots of support & ideas. Ju cahn doo thees!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome First and glad you are with us.
Nothing much to add to what the other posters have shared but to say for me that removing alcohol completely from life has given me what I have wanted for years. Me again and the freedom to live life. Yeah, I don't miss alcohol, want it or really anything to do with it. Now I see it clearly and I felt like smacking myself in the beginning for wasting all those years trying to make friends with the devil.
We are here to support!
Nothing much to add to what the other posters have shared but to say for me that removing alcohol completely from life has given me what I have wanted for years. Me again and the freedom to live life. Yeah, I don't miss alcohol, want it or really anything to do with it. Now I see it clearly and I felt like smacking myself in the beginning for wasting all those years trying to make friends with the devil.
We are here to support!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 14
Hi Firstattempt,
I am in the early stages of recovery, so maybe I shouldn't comment, but moderation and/or scaling back has failed multiple times for me. Quitting entirely is generally easier for me, but even so, cravings hit me periodically, and I've relapsed several times. It's not easy any way you do it if you are an alcoholic, at least it's not for me. I'm trying to learn strategies now to get past the cravings, and I am definitely a work in progress. Talking to people helps, staying away from people or routines you associate with drinking helps, distracting yourself when the craving happens helps.
But in my experience, it is way easier to not drink at all than to have one or two drinks. I tried the moderate approach last month and it ended badly.
I am in the early stages of recovery, so maybe I shouldn't comment, but moderation and/or scaling back has failed multiple times for me. Quitting entirely is generally easier for me, but even so, cravings hit me periodically, and I've relapsed several times. It's not easy any way you do it if you are an alcoholic, at least it's not for me. I'm trying to learn strategies now to get past the cravings, and I am definitely a work in progress. Talking to people helps, staying away from people or routines you associate with drinking helps, distracting yourself when the craving happens helps.
But in my experience, it is way easier to not drink at all than to have one or two drinks. I tried the moderate approach last month and it ended badly.
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Moderation=FAIL for this girl...
Just because that is what we are all saying doesn't mean it won't work for you. Have you determined if you think you are an alcoholic? If you are not, then you can make a few rules for yourself and scale back. If you find that you can't follow your own rules despite your best intentions, you may have a problem. If thats the case, then it may be time to cut it out completely, and see what happens from there. Give yourself a time period that you wish to abstain for, and see if it works.
I can't have just a couple. My attitude is whats the point? I drink because I like the buzz, and once I have a buzz I can't stop. If it were a case of drinking something because I like the taste, I'd rather have water, thank you very much!
In any event, welcome to SR, and good luck!
Just because that is what we are all saying doesn't mean it won't work for you. Have you determined if you think you are an alcoholic? If you are not, then you can make a few rules for yourself and scale back. If you find that you can't follow your own rules despite your best intentions, you may have a problem. If thats the case, then it may be time to cut it out completely, and see what happens from there. Give yourself a time period that you wish to abstain for, and see if it works.
I can't have just a couple. My attitude is whats the point? I drink because I like the buzz, and once I have a buzz I can't stop. If it were a case of drinking something because I like the taste, I'd rather have water, thank you very much!
In any event, welcome to SR, and good luck!
Last edited by julez; 02-09-2011 at 08:26 AM. Reason: spelling
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by Supercrew 
After trying to moderate for about 7 years and being unsuccessful, I decided to try and raise my tolerance and stay loaded all of the time. I figured no one would ever know I was drunk if they never saw me sober. That is some crazy logic right there, and I made it work for the better part of 2 years, but then the job of getting loaded everyday was harder than staying sober to begin with. That's when i decided that quitting was my only option.
Reading this kind of "logic" hits so close to home it's scary ! lo i had the same kind of thinking with weed ; .....with the wake'n bake. Who would know , if i was buzzed ALL the time !?!
.....I thought , "I really DO work in a dusty invironment"
" wouldn't my eyes be a little bloodshot and glassy anyway? "
....raising my drinking tolerance had me figuring the first 4 didn't really count anyway !?!
I agree, .....what a workout all that was !?
The kind of workout I don't miss today.
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