My near relapse.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 232
My near relapse.
It's a social time, a time for family, and a time of celebration!!
The holidays are here, yay it's CHRISTMAS!
Tonight we went over to my in laws to visit all of our family who have arrived some from very far away!
I knew that it would be difficult but I dont think I really knew just how difficult it was going to be.
I walked in and everyone was having a drink, I was offered a drink 3 times within the first 5 minutes of being there.
I wanted one. I really really wanted a drink.
I started sweating, acting all weird, stressed..almost began crying. It was mortifying.
Then I managed to talk myself into drinking. "It's Christmas..looks like i'm going to cave...I really want to drink with everyone".
I had myself completely convinced to drink tonight.
My sister in law talked me down.
Im frightened at how close I came to drinking, im embarrassed that everyone seemed to notice I wasnt and that I was on the wagon and struggling, the whole thing was so embarrassing.
I cant believe how quickly and easily I was willing to cave. I dont feel strong at all.
I didnt drink anything. I guess I should be happy about that..but im still so upset with myself for how quickly i was willing to give in. I didnt even try.
The holidays are here, yay it's CHRISTMAS!
Tonight we went over to my in laws to visit all of our family who have arrived some from very far away!
I knew that it would be difficult but I dont think I really knew just how difficult it was going to be.
I walked in and everyone was having a drink, I was offered a drink 3 times within the first 5 minutes of being there.
I wanted one. I really really wanted a drink.
I started sweating, acting all weird, stressed..almost began crying. It was mortifying.
Then I managed to talk myself into drinking. "It's Christmas..looks like i'm going to cave...I really want to drink with everyone".
I had myself completely convinced to drink tonight.
My sister in law talked me down.
Im frightened at how close I came to drinking, im embarrassed that everyone seemed to notice I wasnt and that I was on the wagon and struggling, the whole thing was so embarrassing.
I cant believe how quickly and easily I was willing to cave. I dont feel strong at all.
I didnt drink anything. I guess I should be happy about that..but im still so upset with myself for how quickly i was willing to give in. I didnt even try.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
I went to a neighborhood party in the 2nd week of my sobriety. I wasn't expecting it to be too bad because it was mostly chatting and catching up with people. Omigosh, I was miserable. I felt like I stood out like a sore thumb. I stayed sober through the evening, but had a horrible time. The next day I went out and bought a bottle of wine. End of story. After that, I stayed away from alcohol for a long time.
It would have been hard for you to stay away from a family get-together, but it doesn't sound like it was much fun. I'm glad your sister-in-law helped you.
Good for you for getting through that!
It would have been hard for you to stay away from a family get-together, but it doesn't sound like it was much fun. I'm glad your sister-in-law helped you.
Good for you for getting through that!
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Take it as a learning experience. If you can keep yourself out of that stress the next time it arises you'll be all the better off, nothing lost.
And you didn't drink, however you didn't, you didn't. And I wouldn't say you didn't try. You made refusals, you agreed to talk honestly with your sister, and you're being honest here. I'm sorry it was awfully stressful for you and still is, but I think you did okay. Honest.
And you didn't drink, however you didn't, you didn't. And I wouldn't say you didn't try. You made refusals, you agreed to talk honestly with your sister, and you're being honest here. I'm sorry it was awfully stressful for you and still is, but I think you did okay. Honest.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 228
Originally Posted by Carrie36 
It's a social time, a time for family, and a time of celebration!!
The holidays are here, yay it's CHRISTMAS!
Tonight we went over to my in laws to visit all of our family who have arrived some from very far away!
I knew that it would be difficult but I dont think I really knew just how difficult it was going to be.
I walked in and everyone was having a drink, I was offered a drink 3 times within the first 5 minutes of being there.
I wanted one. I really really wanted a drink.
I started sweating, acting all weird, stressed..almost began crying. It was mortifying.
Then I managed to talk myself into drinking. "It's Christmas..looks like i'm going to cave...I really want to drink with everyone".
I had myself completely convinced to drink tonight.
My sister in law talked me down.
Im frightened at how close I came to drinking, im embarrassed that everyone seemed to notice I wasnt and that I was on the wagon and struggling, the whole thing was so embarrassing.
I cant believe how quickly and easily I was willing to cave. I dont feel strong at all.
I didnt drink anything. I guess I should be happy about that..but im still so upset with myself for how quickly i was willing to give in. I didnt even try.
The holidays are here, yay it's CHRISTMAS!
Tonight we went over to my in laws to visit all of our family who have arrived some from very far away!
I knew that it would be difficult but I dont think I really knew just how difficult it was going to be.
I walked in and everyone was having a drink, I was offered a drink 3 times within the first 5 minutes of being there.
I wanted one. I really really wanted a drink.
I started sweating, acting all weird, stressed..almost began crying. It was mortifying.
Then I managed to talk myself into drinking. "It's Christmas..looks like i'm going to cave...I really want to drink with everyone".
I had myself completely convinced to drink tonight.
My sister in law talked me down.
Im frightened at how close I came to drinking, im embarrassed that everyone seemed to notice I wasnt and that I was on the wagon and struggling, the whole thing was so embarrassing.
I cant believe how quickly and easily I was willing to cave. I dont feel strong at all.
I didnt drink anything. I guess I should be happy about that..but im still so upset with myself for how quickly i was willing to give in. I didnt even try.
Tomorrow when you wake up you will be sooo relieved you didn't take that first drink. One less day of sorrow and regret and mentally rehashing every conversation you had of what you may or not may have said or did.
Stay strong and know you're not alone!
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Great job Carrie! Sounds like you feel a bit shaken up right now but in the morning you are going to feel even better about your decision.. Don't worry at all about how you appeared, remember that is mostl in our own heads anyway; you were brave to talk to someone. Merry Christmas!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 19
I admire you for not caving into what you knew was not best for you in the long run. A few hours of fun isn't worth it. Believe me, I know. It's never just "that one night" - after you pick up your first drink for whatever reason it's easy to think "what the heck, I already blew it so why not?" and that one night of drinking turns into many, many more. Congrats for winning over alcohol!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 9
The important thing is that you stayed sober. You did it. I didn't and I regret it with all my hear. I got drunk on Sunday by myself and let down myself and a lot of people who love me. It was a total disaster, and I feel horrible today. It was just as everyone says over and over, you pick up right where you left off and that is exactly what I did. I am so thankful to be back in it and I am so glad to know that others who are working the program are able to stay away from that first drink.
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