Sally

I only seem to come to this board when Iam in crisis,
but today is a good day.
The alanon meetings have had an awsume affect on me..
my dark cloud seems to have lifted,
My A.....has taken a turn for the better,,,,,,,not sure what happend but....he seems at peace with himself.
Likes work again, off the bottle, temper,gone....
we had a talk, like many, many times before but I think this time or we actualy listened to each other.
I laid it on the line...
I told him exactly what my intensions were if things did not change, and I guess the only difference this time was that I actually meant what I said.
And things are different....today things are different.....
I am grateful for today, and although I know NO one waved a magic wand and everything is fixed...but I just carried one rock from the overwhelming pile.........

regards
I'am starting to like me again
I'am not a perfect humane being, Iam perfectly Humane

Bellyisfull

This is wonderful. I am in a similar place. Took control of my life again and let go of my husband's junk...it belongs to him. I know that no magic wand has fixed anything but I believe in standing our ground and if through some miracle, it evokes change elsewhere, then great..
Although I am more or less 'separated' but living in the same house with hubby, I have been living for ME and let me tell you what, I haven't felt this good in months. The husband and I actually had a nice lunch together over the weekend, was the first time we have really talked in a long while but I am taking it for what it was - one good day. He has to work his program and I have to take care of myself.
You laying things on the line will not be nearly so effective as living well - as they say, it's the best revenge. I took my husband's misguided power away when I took my codependence away. I think he's getting it through the thick skull that I am not bending on this one. He has to get his house in order and I'm not going to be there to distract him with a fight or an ultimatum or a tearful plea. Oh no, I LOVE not owning his crap. And ironically, that is what seems to have caught his attention for the first time ever.
Every addict is the same but different. My husband has not hit his rock bottom, he still does not feel he is in the class of true drug addict, as he puts it, he is not 'strung out' ..this may be but his desire to use and continue to use could quickly get him in that category. Fortunately, he no longer has a 'connection' - his desperation to get the drug was evident when he asked ME to help get it, albeit a pathetic effort to trick me into it..he is seeing a therapist and seems to be in a lot of pain right now, there is a lot of raw anger because I think something in him has figured out that there are one of two outcomes he can pick. Keep using, abusing, lying, etc and be alone or get better, save the marriage, save himself, embrace a better life, a life he once lived and knew well. I don't know what the outcome will be yet. I only know that I am going to be just fine, either way.
Hang in there Sally and keep moving forward in your own recovery. Thoughts and prayers coming your way!
Take Care.

spedteach

Sally,
Glad to hear that you are doing well and have had some good days I know that sometimes I feel like the only time I come here is when I've had a rough time with my ah..I've been trying to change that by starting some fun threads (not sure if anyone else feels they are fun..but that's what I'm trying to do, get the focus back on us )

It really is about letting to go and letting them be responsible for them and their own junk and we're responsible for us and our own junk!!

Glad to hear it! Keep up the good job

Sped teach

Sally

Thanks for your replies

Yes We are all responsible for our own junk, and I have found that since I took the focus off of my A and started focusing on my own recovery....I have enough junk of my own to work on, I don't have the time, or room in my mind to take care of anyone elses junk but my own....Wow I am only responsibe for my self.....this lifts a huge burden and gives me independance...and also a very big responsibilty also....I never took care of me before.

Of course I have my children and without saying I take care of them, and they are my responsibility. And I thank God for giving me the HOnour of having them in my heart. I have started looking at things differently, I am more gratful for the things I have.
I will continue to grow and discover myself, forgive myself, and as I keep telling myself....I'am starting to like me again.
My friend always say's to me....NOW I CAN BE THE WOMEN I WAS MEANT TO BE.........

FAITH........GOES ALONG WAY....

REGARDS
SALLY

LET GO AND LET GOD.....
p.s. (I'm working the steps, or the steps are working me......)