Landa

I guess try, try again.....I will do this.....I have to do this.

least

I can't tell you how many times I gave in to the anxiety and cravings. But I kept trying and I now have a year sober. Don't give up on yourself! Keep trying til you 'get it'.

drent

When I taught my daughter to ride bike the first thing I told her was, "You will fall, know that now, and it might hurt but nothing in life worth having comes easy so we pick ourselves up and try again" she fell twice and never looked back after that. You wont find a single person on here that didnt fail before they succeeded.

Dont give up. Pick yourself up and try again. Its worth it, you are worth it.

DayTrader

Sounds familiar..... ugh, whatta nasty time - couldn't make it the first day. Heh, sometimes I couldn't make it an HOUR.

Landa - bear in mind, some of us CAN'T do this. For some of us, willpower, promises, changes of diet, lots of support from friends/online/etc, working out, avoiding triggers, etc etc etc....that stuff doesn't have any lasting efficacy.

Give it all you've got - and I hope it works. If it doesn't, consider trying AA. AA's for the alcoholic who has lost the power to control their drinking and can't stay stopped.

Best BEST of luck to you. Welcome to the board.

You don't have to EVER drink again. There are plenty of folks here who've gone days, weeks, months, years and decades without ever picking up again who'll be MORE than happy to share how they did it and what life's like now, on the other side of addiction.

betterlate

I'd say that most of us here are united in how often and how early the drinking got to be before we were able to make changes. First day? For much of my life, every day was just waiting until that first drink. Which always felt great. But always led to that last one. Which eventually always became hell. The nice thing about that hell is that you can leave it anytime you want. Keep trying!

BoozeFree

I've been struggling the past couple months to stay sober and had 4 days and now today back to day 1. I think it's good that your willing to try again!

Fandy

you might want to discuss with your doctor your struggle to stop....and they should be able to help you quell your physical craving and making de-tox easier...getting over the hump of the first day, the night sweats, insomnia, headache can be plain physical withdrawal which are best monitored by a medical professional.

Demut

And you shall,
however,
there's an alarming theme to your post. You have, in that short sentence, three "I's" and I know for me, this is when I would be in the perverbial rat wheel, round and round. This is a WE deal. I have yet to see someone recover alone. For me, it had to be with the help of my God and fellow recovering alcoholics. Something to consider..........

Toronto68

Landa, you can do it, don't assume it will never work.

artsoul

Hugs and prayers.... that vicious cycle is so miserable. Quit in the morning and drink by afternoon. It wore me down day after day and I finally saw that I had absolutely no control over it. That was scary.

It's hard to fight that urge, especially hard in the first few days, but over time it really does get better. I thought about drinking 24/7 and never thought I could turn off the obsession. The only way I managed was by spending hours on this forum and taking it a day/hour/minute at a time, but there's lots of other options available too.

Alcohol will rob us of everything positive in our lives if we give in to it. We all need help to stay sober - I know I do. I also know that if I can do it (impulsive, compulsive, artist, easy depressed, etc. etc. etc.!!), I believe that you can too! Hang in there!!

stephnc

Hang in there, and do try to reach out for some help. Your doctor, AA, even posting frequently here on SR can make a big difference in getting beyond that first day. And don't forget to have some chocolate or ice cream on hand to help with the cravings.

Wishing you the best ~

Stephanie

Landa

Thank you all. I know I'm not alone in this, I have a wonderful family who is always there for me......I am also thankful for finding this site, it really does feel less lonely reading everyone's posts. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Zencat

I too had plenty of false starts in my attempts to stop drinking. I found out no matter what type of alcoholism there is and there seems to be a confusing amount of alcoholism labels out there to choose from. That it is within my power to turn my life around and recover from a seemingly hopeless illness.

Support with a good recovery plan is what it took to gain a life free from the influence that alcohol had on my.

Keep working on a new you and you'll get there.

CarolD

You might want to have an honest talk with your doctor
and follow directions on how to de tox safely.

Welcome....

Onewithwings

It took me 8 months in the NA program to string together 2 months. I relapsed more than a dozen times, but I kept trying. Now I have almost 3 months (still not long, I know, but a miracle to me!) and I have not wanted to use the whole time. When the thought enters my head I just don't entertain it (and trust me, I know how it feels to just not be able to do that).

Have you tried AA or NA? Many people are clean today only because they work a program (there are folks who can do it on their own-- I was not one of them!) I am really enjoying working on the steps with my sponsor. I feel like I'm not only 'not using' but getting away from those other erratic and selfish behaviors that addicts and alcoholics have. My mind is still a scary place, but thanks to a HP I no longer have to be there alone.

Good luck with sobriety, and don't give up!

bellakeller

I didn't stop having day 1s until I got some help. After trying AA and failing to even string together 3 months, I went to rehab where I realized that though I was going to meetings, I was not even close to doing the things in AA that were suggested I do. Turns out I needed a village to keep me sober. Some people just do.

Now I work with a sponsor, go to meetings 4-5 times a week, have some outside counseling and make sure I see my shrink for depression. I've been sober for more than a year now, but it takes this entire team to keep me that way.

It is what it is - I'll do anything to stay sober.

Wishing the best for you. I've been there. You're not alone here.

Onewithwings

bellakeller, my story was similar-- I went to NA, relapsed hard, and went to the hospital then detox and rehab. Finally learned what the program is really about, and dedicated myself to working it no matter what. Since then I have kept coming back, often repeating steps to suit them to new beliefs I have developed, but always pressing forward. This last relapse I *finally* got a decent high, but it was an overdose and I had to call 911. Went to the hospital again, then they put me on the psych ward for 11 days. Since then I have not had an urge to use, and I have been able to move forward on my steps (I'm currently working step 6) and have learned from my new sponsor how to not pick up, no matter what. If I have to overdose to get a decent high, there is no reason for me to try using again, because it will either be a crappy high, or it will kill me or come close.

Dee74

Have you seen a Dr yet Landa?

D