Wife back to Detox
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 63
Wife back to Detox
Hi all.
This post is mostly to vent as I feel like I need it to keep my sanity right now.
My wife was in detox about 2 months ago to get off Suboxone which she had been on for about 4 years. In the week she was there (all our insurance would cover) she didn't get totally off and was put on a taper-off plan and was keeping up with it as an outpatient (with groups and classes 3x/week).
Move forward to Thursday, which was my work Xmas party in Vegas which was essentially an overnight trip. At this point, she was down to 2mg/day and although she did complain of feeling yucky did appear to be manageable compared to the withdrawals i've seen from her running out of meds in the past.
I was obviously concerned with going on a trip which may involve drinking and especially considering she wasn't feeling too hot to start with. I did express my concerns and said maybe she should stay home if she thought she would feel too bad ans just spend the trip in the hotel room. Of course, she said she would be able to manage for one day and really wanted to go.
Got really sketchy for me when she also mentioned she wanted to speed off her taper and that from 2mg/day to 0mg/day was not that big of a deal and they were planning on using a lower dose narcotic at that point like Vicodin to minimize the withdrawals. Turns out she did have a refill from before on Vicodin and made the bizarre decision to go to the last phase of the taper-off on the day of the trip. "Don't want to go to the airport with a fraction of a Suboxone pill, without the bottle that goes with it". mmmmkay, going through airport security with random meds without a bottle never was an issue in the past...
Realistically, at this point I figure she probably took more of her meds that she was supposed to and just ran out before they were supposed to give her next set of doses at the treatment center and of course her cooking up a story to minimize what she did and actually make it look like she is trying to do the right thing.
Anyways, we got there about 4 hours before the party and also she did fine in the beginning, she essentially started having her withdrawal symptoms right before the party. So she decided to compensate some the symptoms by drinking beer instead. In the meantime, I decided to leave and go enjoy the party anyways.
Of course, she just kept drinking and I had to somehow ensure she should get back home. The next morning, she was obviously freaking out because of the symptoms, the fact she had to get onto a plane. So she at least did do one "right" thing and called her counselor at the treatment center and talked to him. He suggested she found a way to get back home and to go straight back into inpatient to be re-evaluated.
I think the whole drinking to compensate thing was likely a huge red flag to the counselor. I don't know what she told them in the past but likely some sob story about how she has chronic pain and doctors just gave her too much pain medication over they years and how she isn't an addict and just physically dependent on the medication. I somehow hope that maybe this was enough red flag for the counselors that maybe they will call on her BS.
So, it took about 8 pints of beer (huge cans) and 4 mixed drinks over a period of 24 hours to get her through the day and the flight back home. Went straight from the airport to the treatment center and just dropped her off with her suitcase from the overnight trip. Will likely go drop off some extra clothing items.
Now I am happy she is back in there for herself and my own sanity. Not really sure how long it will be this time. Not even sure if the insurance will pay since she just got out of detox. But I cannot and will not pay the 650$/day to fix her mistake, hell, I am not even sure I can afford groceries this week!!
As for me, did some codie mistakes over the past few days that's for sure. But overall I am still in the same mindset. I am just trying to save up enough to be able to take advantage of a move-out opportunity that is coming up in May.
I mean even is she does wake up and get her act straight. I know I can forgive but I don't think I can forget everything that has happened due to her addiction. Things are never going to be the way they were, what she seems to think will happen, just some more of her addict denials at work...
Done venting. Time to go rest a little
This post is mostly to vent as I feel like I need it to keep my sanity right now.
My wife was in detox about 2 months ago to get off Suboxone which she had been on for about 4 years. In the week she was there (all our insurance would cover) she didn't get totally off and was put on a taper-off plan and was keeping up with it as an outpatient (with groups and classes 3x/week).
Move forward to Thursday, which was my work Xmas party in Vegas which was essentially an overnight trip. At this point, she was down to 2mg/day and although she did complain of feeling yucky did appear to be manageable compared to the withdrawals i've seen from her running out of meds in the past.
I was obviously concerned with going on a trip which may involve drinking and especially considering she wasn't feeling too hot to start with. I did express my concerns and said maybe she should stay home if she thought she would feel too bad ans just spend the trip in the hotel room. Of course, she said she would be able to manage for one day and really wanted to go.
Got really sketchy for me when she also mentioned she wanted to speed off her taper and that from 2mg/day to 0mg/day was not that big of a deal and they were planning on using a lower dose narcotic at that point like Vicodin to minimize the withdrawals. Turns out she did have a refill from before on Vicodin and made the bizarre decision to go to the last phase of the taper-off on the day of the trip. "Don't want to go to the airport with a fraction of a Suboxone pill, without the bottle that goes with it". mmmmkay, going through airport security with random meds without a bottle never was an issue in the past...
Realistically, at this point I figure she probably took more of her meds that she was supposed to and just ran out before they were supposed to give her next set of doses at the treatment center and of course her cooking up a story to minimize what she did and actually make it look like she is trying to do the right thing.
Anyways, we got there about 4 hours before the party and also she did fine in the beginning, she essentially started having her withdrawal symptoms right before the party. So she decided to compensate some the symptoms by drinking beer instead. In the meantime, I decided to leave and go enjoy the party anyways.
Of course, she just kept drinking and I had to somehow ensure she should get back home. The next morning, she was obviously freaking out because of the symptoms, the fact she had to get onto a plane. So she at least did do one "right" thing and called her counselor at the treatment center and talked to him. He suggested she found a way to get back home and to go straight back into inpatient to be re-evaluated.
I think the whole drinking to compensate thing was likely a huge red flag to the counselor. I don't know what she told them in the past but likely some sob story about how she has chronic pain and doctors just gave her too much pain medication over they years and how she isn't an addict and just physically dependent on the medication. I somehow hope that maybe this was enough red flag for the counselors that maybe they will call on her BS.
So, it took about 8 pints of beer (huge cans) and 4 mixed drinks over a period of 24 hours to get her through the day and the flight back home. Went straight from the airport to the treatment center and just dropped her off with her suitcase from the overnight trip. Will likely go drop off some extra clothing items.
Now I am happy she is back in there for herself and my own sanity. Not really sure how long it will be this time. Not even sure if the insurance will pay since she just got out of detox. But I cannot and will not pay the 650$/day to fix her mistake, hell, I am not even sure I can afford groceries this week!!
As for me, did some codie mistakes over the past few days that's for sure. But overall I am still in the same mindset. I am just trying to save up enough to be able to take advantage of a move-out opportunity that is coming up in May.
I mean even is she does wake up and get her act straight. I know I can forgive but I don't think I can forget everything that has happened due to her addiction. Things are never going to be the way they were, what she seems to think will happen, just some more of her addict denials at work...
Done venting. Time to go rest a little
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 457
sebby, so sorry your going through this. I understand your point of forgiving but not forgetting. I too think of these thoughts as well, exp.in the beginning.
I too came to a point where I knew even if he did get sober we could never
be together again like we were before. I remember a few months ago I took pictures down, I threw away his belongings and that was very difficult but it was time for me to make a decision. You will know when you will make the decision. I still struggle with forgiving because of the disputes that are ongoing for a year now and probaly for another 7 months. I pray that I can forgive someday because I truly see how ill he is and Im sure everyone on here can say the same about their addicts.
I hope you start taking care of yourself and move forward for YOU. I hope you can step away because I hear in your posts and know all too well the torture this puts us through.
Stay strong, focus on yourself take this time out for you and think things through..sending you hugs and strength!
I too came to a point where I knew even if he did get sober we could never
be together again like we were before. I remember a few months ago I took pictures down, I threw away his belongings and that was very difficult but it was time for me to make a decision. You will know when you will make the decision. I still struggle with forgiving because of the disputes that are ongoing for a year now and probaly for another 7 months. I pray that I can forgive someday because I truly see how ill he is and Im sure everyone on here can say the same about their addicts.
I hope you start taking care of yourself and move forward for YOU. I hope you can step away because I hear in your posts and know all too well the torture this puts us through.
Stay strong, focus on yourself take this time out for you and think things through..sending you hugs and strength!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 63
Thanks Tam.
I know the Codie in me would just like to see the drama free fairytale ending. But the rational part of my brain realizes some of the damage that was done can't be undone. Not saying I don't believe she can get her act together and live a good life but for me it has gotten to the point where she drives me nuts even when she is acting "normal".
Sebastien
I know the Codie in me would just like to see the drama free fairytale ending. But the rational part of my brain realizes some of the damage that was done can't be undone. Not saying I don't believe she can get her act together and live a good life but for me it has gotten to the point where she drives me nuts even when she is acting "normal".
Sebastien
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 63
It is frustrating. And now also, my body/mind has reached the point where it can't deal with stress anymore.
I was a bad situation to start with, once it happened not much I could do that wasn't codependent in some way. My gut instinct was telling me something like this was going to happen and did tell her she probably should just stay home if she was going to stay in the room being miserable. Of course, she convinced me she was doing fine and all would go okay.
Now my bigger worry with her in Detox is that the insurance will say no and will be handed a bill from the detox place. At this point, I can't afford that and will just not pay. It's her own financial responsibility for this now.
Another day, another disappointment. That's life with an addict...
I was a bad situation to start with, once it happened not much I could do that wasn't codependent in some way. My gut instinct was telling me something like this was going to happen and did tell her she probably should just stay home if she was going to stay in the room being miserable. Of course, she convinced me she was doing fine and all would go okay.
Now my bigger worry with her in Detox is that the insurance will say no and will be handed a bill from the detox place. At this point, I can't afford that and will just not pay. It's her own financial responsibility for this now.
Another day, another disappointment. That's life with an addict...
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