Working towards help!!(Long Read)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Mi
Posts: 18
Working towards help!!(Long Read)
Hi there,
I am a 2006 graduate of Fraser High School with a 3 point plus GPA(during high school), with every day smoking weed and drinking. I have been doing drugs/drinking since I was 16. I was smoking pot and drinking everyday by my senior year. I was first caught with a posession of marijuana and paraphernalia in March of 2008 by the Warren Police(I was also drunk). I got lucky, I didn't get a DUI then. I was handed probation on August 13, 2008. Not even two weeks later, after coming back from up north Labor day weekend and driving drunk to kill the time, I was caught in Detroit at Chene and Gratiot, with 4 misdemeanors. Those were open intox, soliciting a postitute, no insurance, and no registation. In reality, I had both documents but I was too drunk to find them in my truck. The prostitution thing was also blown out of proprotion. A women had walked by and said hello and the cops saw that and thought we were making a deal for sex. Mind you this was at 4:30 am. Luckly, the cops didn't show up at trial and they dropped all the charges. Anyways, fast forward to December 4th, 2008. I had a random drug screening for my probation and I dropped dirty for marijuana. This was when I started drinking heavily because I couldn't smoke weed any more. Again, fast forward to April 16th, 2009 and I was pullied over for a drunk driving with three of Warren's finest on my bumper(leaving a bowling alley and I was still underage);9 days Short of my 21st. I blew a .24 and didn't even drink that much for me anyways(Just a fifith and a 40oz of Bud Light. I even met my half-brother in jail( he's 40 years old and this was the first time I had met him). He has spent most 20 plus years in and out of jail/prison(for drinking/carjacking/domestic assualt. When I was arrested, I knew I had a drinking problem. I was still on probation and when the trial came in September, the judge sentenced me to 30 days and they were the longest's days in my life!!!! Fast foward a little over a year later and I still continue to drink. I no longer drink and drive as I have beaten 2 others before my "official OWIL" I have felt my luck has run out with drinking/driving and not to chance it. But, I will drink a 5th of any liquior that is thrown in front of me. I always drink alone. Everyone at work already knows of my alcohol problem and when we go out to dinner, I do not drink at all because I will hear about it for the next month. I drink about 3-4 times a week. But when I do, watch out. Alright here is what I like to drink. Personally, I like Jim Beam and Jack but I have been cutting back on costs and drink good old Bacardi. I am really stressed out with my life and have been for the last year since being out of jail. Working two jobs wth over 70 hours a week combined at jobs that I hate is killing me. I am going back to school in Jan. Working on cars seems to calm me but I also have a project car that isn't going as I had planned. Plus my good friend just tried to commit sucicide last thursday by Xanax, Cocaine, Alcohol, and Herione. Luckly my best friend was home and bagged and intubated him as soon as he found him. He is an EMT. This has really made me look at my abuse and really question "what the hell am I doing?" Anyway, Just saying hello and I want to get as much help has I can. I have a disease and I am currently drunk. But I feel the drunker I get, I more I want to get sober. I don't know if that has happened to anyone but... Hopefully, you guys have some good resources/ideas for me to put into action. I have been to AA and NA meetings before but.. nothing really stuck for me. That maybe because I haven't felt like I hit rock bottom. But right now, I feel like I hitting rock bottom!!! By the way, I am not sucidial in any way. I relate this to Eminem's Beautiful!
Thanks,
DK
I am a 2006 graduate of Fraser High School with a 3 point plus GPA(during high school), with every day smoking weed and drinking. I have been doing drugs/drinking since I was 16. I was smoking pot and drinking everyday by my senior year. I was first caught with a posession of marijuana and paraphernalia in March of 2008 by the Warren Police(I was also drunk). I got lucky, I didn't get a DUI then. I was handed probation on August 13, 2008. Not even two weeks later, after coming back from up north Labor day weekend and driving drunk to kill the time, I was caught in Detroit at Chene and Gratiot, with 4 misdemeanors. Those were open intox, soliciting a postitute, no insurance, and no registation. In reality, I had both documents but I was too drunk to find them in my truck. The prostitution thing was also blown out of proprotion. A women had walked by and said hello and the cops saw that and thought we were making a deal for sex. Mind you this was at 4:30 am. Luckly, the cops didn't show up at trial and they dropped all the charges. Anyways, fast forward to December 4th, 2008. I had a random drug screening for my probation and I dropped dirty for marijuana. This was when I started drinking heavily because I couldn't smoke weed any more. Again, fast forward to April 16th, 2009 and I was pullied over for a drunk driving with three of Warren's finest on my bumper(leaving a bowling alley and I was still underage);9 days Short of my 21st. I blew a .24 and didn't even drink that much for me anyways(Just a fifith and a 40oz of Bud Light. I even met my half-brother in jail( he's 40 years old and this was the first time I had met him). He has spent most 20 plus years in and out of jail/prison(for drinking/carjacking/domestic assualt. When I was arrested, I knew I had a drinking problem. I was still on probation and when the trial came in September, the judge sentenced me to 30 days and they were the longest's days in my life!!!! Fast foward a little over a year later and I still continue to drink. I no longer drink and drive as I have beaten 2 others before my "official OWIL" I have felt my luck has run out with drinking/driving and not to chance it. But, I will drink a 5th of any liquior that is thrown in front of me. I always drink alone. Everyone at work already knows of my alcohol problem and when we go out to dinner, I do not drink at all because I will hear about it for the next month. I drink about 3-4 times a week. But when I do, watch out. Alright here is what I like to drink. Personally, I like Jim Beam and Jack but I have been cutting back on costs and drink good old Bacardi. I am really stressed out with my life and have been for the last year since being out of jail. Working two jobs wth over 70 hours a week combined at jobs that I hate is killing me. I am going back to school in Jan. Working on cars seems to calm me but I also have a project car that isn't going as I had planned. Plus my good friend just tried to commit sucicide last thursday by Xanax, Cocaine, Alcohol, and Herione. Luckly my best friend was home and bagged and intubated him as soon as he found him. He is an EMT. This has really made me look at my abuse and really question "what the hell am I doing?" Anyway, Just saying hello and I want to get as much help has I can. I have a disease and I am currently drunk. But I feel the drunker I get, I more I want to get sober. I don't know if that has happened to anyone but... Hopefully, you guys have some good resources/ideas for me to put into action. I have been to AA and NA meetings before but.. nothing really stuck for me. That maybe because I haven't felt like I hit rock bottom. But right now, I feel like I hitting rock bottom!!! By the way, I am not sucidial in any way. I relate this to Eminem's Beautiful!
Thanks,
DK
I love this place.
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 329
I have been where you are many times.
8 weeks ago, after being sober 2 months, I drank and drove...my best friend of 25 yrs was killed...here is the car...I should not have lived.
Don't let something like this happen to you for you to stop. Have you ever thought about going to a program to learn how to deal with this.
I am so new at being sober I am not sure how to advise...but I do know from my own hell, it doesn't get better...just worse.
I said "I never lost a job from drinking, a car, never had a DUI, never to jail, have my kids...ect, ect" ...a good friend said YET...YET equals You are eligible too.
Now I took life of very dear friend, facing God knows how long in jail, lost my car, had to sell everything and move back in with parents and I am 40 and was very successful and never depended on anyone for anything. If you continue it will snowball for you as it did for me, I promise you that. You are eligible too...I am praying for you.
8 weeks ago, after being sober 2 months, I drank and drove...my best friend of 25 yrs was killed...here is the car...I should not have lived.
Don't let something like this happen to you for you to stop. Have you ever thought about going to a program to learn how to deal with this.
I am so new at being sober I am not sure how to advise...but I do know from my own hell, it doesn't get better...just worse.
I said "I never lost a job from drinking, a car, never had a DUI, never to jail, have my kids...ect, ect" ...a good friend said YET...YET equals You are eligible too.
Now I took life of very dear friend, facing God knows how long in jail, lost my car, had to sell everything and move back in with parents and I am 40 and was very successful and never depended on anyone for anything. If you continue it will snowball for you as it did for me, I promise you that. You are eligible too...I am praying for you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi DK
I'm older than you and I pushed my boat out a lot further than you have so far, but I showed up here not that much different to you - a little drunk, not really knowing what I wanted, or what I was prepared to do, but knowing I needed to change.
The folks here gave me a lot of advice and support - and I listened.
I'm coming up to 4 years sober now - I used to drink all day every day.
I used to dream of being the man I wanted to be and the kind of life I wanted - now I have both
If you have a sincere commitment to put down the booze, you can have it too DK.
There are many methods and schools of thought - here are some of the main recovery players - I encourage you to check them out.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I also encourage everyone to see their Dr - detox can sometimes be rough for some of us. Why take the risk?
Welcome aboard
D
I'm older than you and I pushed my boat out a lot further than you have so far, but I showed up here not that much different to you - a little drunk, not really knowing what I wanted, or what I was prepared to do, but knowing I needed to change.
The folks here gave me a lot of advice and support - and I listened.
I'm coming up to 4 years sober now - I used to drink all day every day.
I used to dream of being the man I wanted to be and the kind of life I wanted - now I have both
If you have a sincere commitment to put down the booze, you can have it too DK.
There are many methods and schools of thought - here are some of the main recovery players - I encourage you to check them out.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I also encourage everyone to see their Dr - detox can sometimes be rough for some of us. Why take the risk?
Welcome aboard
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR!! It can, and will, get worse if you continue to drink.
It's common, I think, to say "I want to stop" while we're still using. For me, I needed a lot of support to STAY stopped, and I've found that, here, at SR and some f2f people. A lot of people get help in other ways (which Dee mentioned above).
Recovery is possible, but you've got to want it more than anything.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
It's common, I think, to say "I want to stop" while we're still using. For me, I needed a lot of support to STAY stopped, and I've found that, here, at SR and some f2f people. A lot of people get help in other ways (which Dee mentioned above).
Recovery is possible, but you've got to want it more than anything.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
Welcome to SR. I was a home alone wine drinker. I struggled for two years trying to quit but am now coming up on a year sober. I hope you can stop drinking before something much worse happens to you.
I was a home alone wine drinker. I struggled for two years trying to quit but am now coming up on a year sober. I hope you can stop drinking before something much worse happens to you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
Welcome DK - I'll ditto what others said: it won't get better. You're young and have already had legal trouble because of your drinking; if you don't stop you'll get in more trouble. Or worse, you'll kill yourself or someone else.
I applaud you for admitting you need help and need to change...you have taken the first step!
I'm not speaking from any great sober wisdom here, I'm in my 50s and just made the decision (again) to get sober and get help. Had I made the right decision when I was your age my life would be very, very different now!
Look up SMART recovery (I think there are meetings near you), give AA/NA another try, find a counselor, read and post a lot here....bottom line, you cannot do this all by yourself. Starting school in a couple of months may be a new page for you...won't it be good to do it sober?
I applaud you for admitting you need help and need to change...you have taken the first step!
I'm not speaking from any great sober wisdom here, I'm in my 50s and just made the decision (again) to get sober and get help. Had I made the right decision when I was your age my life would be very, very different now!
Look up SMART recovery (I think there are meetings near you), give AA/NA another try, find a counselor, read and post a lot here....bottom line, you cannot do this all by yourself. Starting school in a couple of months may be a new page for you...won't it be good to do it sober?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Mi
Posts: 18
Thank you guys for your support. I have been seeking help through friends and family and so far I have done ok. Seeing my friend in the ICU unit was a real wake up call for me. I will try my hardest to stay on the straight and narrow path. When I first went to treatment, I didn't really care! But I realize that this life isn't for me. I also realized you can not look into the future with this disease. You must take this journey into soberity one day at a time. If I can stay sober today, it is a reward. I don't treat soberity like a long term goal any more. For me, everyday that I stay sober is an accomplishment. But, that being said, I am never the one to do long term goals!
Taking it one day at a time,
DK
Taking it one day at a time,
DK
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 40
I am new, too. I hope we can keep in touch and talk about sobriety. Today was my first day and I have learned more about myself and my relationships in 1 day than I have in the years behind me being drunk. You should try AA meetings again. This time around if you really dedicate yourself- they might actually work. Especially if you go on your own free will instead of court ordered. Thats what I am hoping atleast. Good luck. I am sending good vibes your way.
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