Are you looking forward to the holidays?....or not?
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Are you looking forward to the holidays?....or not?
This has been a really tough year for me and especially the last few months. Thanksgiving and Christmas, to me, just represent a ton of work and not much payoff. I haven't really enjoyed the holidays since my kids were little and they're 17 & 20 now. The holidays are also my very busy time at work. Bleh!
I wish I could find a way to change my attitude, but I have been unable to do so for these many years
. I wish I was 7 years old again and I could just wake up, get presents and enjoy a veritable feast of home-made special dishes spread before me that I didn't cook!
Bah humbug.
I wish I could find a way to change my attitude, but I have been unable to do so for these many years
. I wish I was 7 years old again and I could just wake up, get presents and enjoy a veritable feast of home-made special dishes spread before me that I didn't cook! Bah humbug.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
Depends on the day TJP..! I was dreading them, but now not as much...check back after Thanksgiving and I'll let you know if I made it!
Seriously though, I see nothing wrong with changing traditions..going out, downsizing, etc.Do what you need to do.Everyone will survive. We put too much pressure on ourselves and lets face it..some years suck more than others. Hope you can modify enough to get a little pleasure out of the holidays..I was having a fantasy of going to a really expensive hotel room by myself....
Seriously though, I see nothing wrong with changing traditions..going out, downsizing, etc.Do what you need to do.Everyone will survive. We put too much pressure on ourselves and lets face it..some years suck more than others. Hope you can modify enough to get a little pleasure out of the holidays..I was having a fantasy of going to a really expensive hotel room by myself....
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
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tjp
I do understand how you feel. It would be nice to be able to be a little kid again.....that was magical for me.
I can get myself so worked up for the holidays--to the point that I'm so stressed out just thinking about them before the work even begins! I did some things this week to help ease my "burden" so to speak. I somehow managed to take Wednesday off so I'll be able to prepare some of the meal that day. My daughter is also taking the day off and she and her boyfriend are coming down to help. I'm farming out some of the side dish and dessert stuff and voila. I'm going to do my best to enjoy the time with my family and I refuse to get stressed out. Now all of that isn't as magical as being a little kid but it's better than what I normally work up in my brain!
One of the Naranon books I'm reading on the Steps right now suggests a slogan for Step One......"oh well". I like that slogan. lol
I hope you can have a nice relaxed holiday.
gentle hugs
I do understand how you feel. It would be nice to be able to be a little kid again.....that was magical for me.
I can get myself so worked up for the holidays--to the point that I'm so stressed out just thinking about them before the work even begins! I did some things this week to help ease my "burden" so to speak. I somehow managed to take Wednesday off so I'll be able to prepare some of the meal that day. My daughter is also taking the day off and she and her boyfriend are coming down to help. I'm farming out some of the side dish and dessert stuff and voila. I'm going to do my best to enjoy the time with my family and I refuse to get stressed out. Now all of that isn't as magical as being a little kid but it's better than what I normally work up in my brain!
One of the Naranon books I'm reading on the Steps right now suggests a slogan for Step One......"oh well". I like that slogan. lol
I hope you can have a nice relaxed holiday.
gentle hugs
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
My mother and I are just tired of cooking a big meal,no turkey for us. I am making filets, with shrimp sauce, twice baked taters little side salad and a german chocolate cake for dessert.
Quite Thanksgiving, no cooking my fool head off! For that I am grateful!
Quite Thanksgiving, no cooking my fool head off! For that I am grateful!
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 82
If you let them bring you down, they will. If you dwell on how lonely you are, or how life sucks and everybody else is happy, then you will be miserable. The holidays don't have to be about gift giving or materialism. The holidays are what you make them. My holidays have always been about eating good food and spending the day with my loved ones. They should be relaxing and fun. Sure, we give gifts, but it's not about how much we buy for each other, it's more about putting a smile on somebody's face.
The holidays are also a sign that a new year is on its way. So, if you've had a particularly sucky year (like a lot of us), then you can have that glimmer of hope that the new year will bring much needed happiness and change.
Besides, who doesn't like to eat a lot of good food?
The holidays are also a sign that a new year is on its way. So, if you've had a particularly sucky year (like a lot of us), then you can have that glimmer of hope that the new year will bring much needed happiness and change.
Besides, who doesn't like to eat a lot of good food?
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Exactly where my HP wants me to be
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Humbug!
Though I confess that I decked our halls last week and my shopping has been done for a month. I love Christmas. I'm also very fond of snowmen and penguins. I love it all, who am I kidding? Can't cut corners on Christmas with kids anyway. Kwim?
Though I confess that I decked our halls last week and my shopping has been done for a month. I love Christmas. I'm also very fond of snowmen and penguins. I love it all, who am I kidding? Can't cut corners on Christmas with kids anyway. Kwim?
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 63
I feel ya. Humbug too.
Spending my holidays with my AW's family. Have to drive 4 hours to go spend the majority of the time in a hotel room because she is too tired. Nothing against the in-laws, but you think my AW could make an effort, it's her family after all...
I'd rather spend the holidays with my family, but no way I can afford the plane ticket back to Canada... Sheesh...
Spending my holidays with my AW's family. Have to drive 4 hours to go spend the majority of the time in a hotel room because she is too tired. Nothing against the in-laws, but you think my AW could make an effort, it's her family after all...
I'd rather spend the holidays with my family, but no way I can afford the plane ticket back to Canada... Sheesh...
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
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Originally Posted by DaisyBuchanan 
... They should be relaxing and fun. Sure, we give gifts, but it's not about how much we buy for each other, it's more about putting a smile on somebody's face...."
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 139
I'll be visiting my AS in the hospital, then going to work. The only preparations I need to do are for work. I need to pick up food for everyone working that day. Should be simple. My daughter also works that day (with me!) so that's our time together that day!! Not looking ahead to xmas yet at this point, but doing a little shopping here and there. FGB
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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Originally Posted by tjp613
This has been a really tough year for me and especially the last few months. Thanksgiving and Christmas, to me, just represent a ton of work and not much payoff. I haven't really enjoyed the holidays since my kids were little and they're 17 & 20 now. The holidays are also my very busy time at work. Bleh!
I wish I could find a way to change my attitude, but I have been unable to do so for these many years . I wish I was 7 years old again and I could just wake up, get presents and enjoy a veritable feast of home-made special dishes spread before me that I didn't cook!
Bah humbug.
I wish I could find a way to change my attitude, but I have been unable to do so for these many years
. I wish I was 7 years old again and I could just wake up, get presents and enjoy a veritable feast of home-made special dishes spread before me that I didn't cook! Bah humbug.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
A Big humbug. After 10 days out of 28 in the hospital, I will not be cooking a big meal. Medical diet allows little. A giant bowl of oats for me. A meatloaf for dogs covered in taters (goumet for dogs) and something special for the birds.
Thankful I am still alive, thankful I still have my animals.
Miss my daughters but they are so far away, a plane trip is out of the question.
A day to reflect on the past, blessing that time is almost gone and look and rejoice to a brighter and more peaceful time that the dogs and I deserve.
Thankful I am still alive, thankful I still have my animals.
Miss my daughters but they are so far away, a plane trip is out of the question.
A day to reflect on the past, blessing that time is almost gone and look and rejoice to a brighter and more peaceful time that the dogs and I deserve.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I remember too many Christmas's where I was depressed and faked going through the actions because it was just expected. I never knew if my son would be using or clean, I hated the crowds because I had already begun to isolate, and there just wasn't much joy in my world.
Then, for quite a few years, I did some volunteering. Taking food we had bought to a shelter, entertaining kids at a women's shelter, delivering some baskets for the Salvation Army and making little packages up for a recovery house near us...cigarettes, gloves, card for coffee...just little things they could open Christmas morning.
That helped me find a deeper meaning to Christmas, and helped enormously.
Now don't throw tomatoes here...but this year Mr. Ann and I are heading to Florida (leaving this Friday) and will be decking the palm trees there.
My son is still missing, we have had a get together with both sides of the family (who have lots of other family to be with at Christmas) and we're loving the escape from winter.
We are taking about a week to get there, stopping to visit along the way and to enjoy some southern cities.
I'm taking my computer and will keep you updated, but I truly am grateful that today I can make my own happiness over the holidays.
Hugs
Then, for quite a few years, I did some volunteering. Taking food we had bought to a shelter, entertaining kids at a women's shelter, delivering some baskets for the Salvation Army and making little packages up for a recovery house near us...cigarettes, gloves, card for coffee...just little things they could open Christmas morning.
That helped me find a deeper meaning to Christmas, and helped enormously.
Now don't throw tomatoes here...but this year Mr. Ann and I are heading to Florida (leaving this Friday) and will be decking the palm trees there.
My son is still missing, we have had a get together with both sides of the family (who have lots of other family to be with at Christmas) and we're loving the escape from winter. We are taking about a week to get there, stopping to visit along the way and to enjoy some southern cities.
I'm taking my computer and will keep you updated, but I truly am grateful that today I can make my own happiness over the holidays.
Hugs
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
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2 of my very best friends live in Florida - one in Jacksonville and the other in Jensen Beach. There is nothing more that I would enjoy then to hop on a plane and just bask in their love and nurturing for a week or so. It's OK... the weekly phone calls and daily emails will suffice for now. But I DO love Florida!! Sounds awesome! Enjoy your time, Ann. You deserve it.
Thanks for the ideas on volunteering -- I've been racking my brain trying to think of what I'd like to do over the holidays in that regard and I really like your idea of little gifts for those in recovery. Hmmmm... I'll have to do some poking around. Thanks!
Thanks for the ideas on volunteering -- I've been racking my brain trying to think of what I'd like to do over the holidays in that regard and I really like your idea of little gifts for those in recovery. Hmmmm... I'll have to do some poking around. Thanks!
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
I've had my share of true downers for the holidays. The pressures that I put on myself saying that there were all these happy families out there and I wasn't one of them really did me in. I also realized (finally) that the amount of work that I do for the holidays is purely up to me. It took awhile for those incessant voices to quiet - the ones that echo should, could, etc. Now, a wreath and a tree are good enough. Simple tokens for gifts, a donation to Urban Ministry in the names of friends and family. That has taken so much of the stress of the season away.
I know it's hard for people that have scattered or alientated families....and also those that have lost their loved ones. Sometimes I have been so miserable that the only thing that was possible to make it through was to get out there and do something for others. There are so many opportunities this time of year to do that. Also, don't forget that many cities have 24 hour meetings over Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year. The recovery communities understand the pain and the loneliness that can be experienced around the holidays.
I've approached this T'giving as a way to accomplish a life long dream....I have NO extra money so I have enjoyed the last few months of culling through anything that I could sell. It has really been freeing and I've let go of a lot of memories - and stuff. I have sold and sold and sold until.......I came up with enough money to take my two sons to Italy for 10 days! We leave tomorrow night. I used to be a travel agent so I really worked to put together the deal of deals to get us there. This time of year is perfect to go because the rates are so low and the crowds are at home eating turkey. We are going on a shoestring - but dangit! We're going. We might be eating pizza from street vendors but who cares????????
I guess the gist of this is that I definitely know how difficult the holiday season can be but I'm doing my best to not buy into what I think it should be and figuring out by hook and by crook the way to do the things that I want to do. BTW - it never occurred to me to include my grumpy, irritable, see the negativity in everything sober (but not recovered) husband. I'm tired of the way that I have allowed him to rob me of my joy and I'm grabbing my happiness right back out of his hands and going to go live my life. I value experiences and not things which is the opposite of him. Time to live my life for me - not him.
I know it's hard for people that have scattered or alientated families....and also those that have lost their loved ones. Sometimes I have been so miserable that the only thing that was possible to make it through was to get out there and do something for others. There are so many opportunities this time of year to do that. Also, don't forget that many cities have 24 hour meetings over Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year. The recovery communities understand the pain and the loneliness that can be experienced around the holidays.
I've approached this T'giving as a way to accomplish a life long dream....I have NO extra money so I have enjoyed the last few months of culling through anything that I could sell. It has really been freeing and I've let go of a lot of memories - and stuff. I have sold and sold and sold until.......I came up with enough money to take my two sons to Italy for 10 days! We leave tomorrow night. I used to be a travel agent so I really worked to put together the deal of deals to get us there. This time of year is perfect to go because the rates are so low and the crowds are at home eating turkey. We are going on a shoestring - but dangit! We're going. We might be eating pizza from street vendors but who cares????????
I guess the gist of this is that I definitely know how difficult the holiday season can be but I'm doing my best to not buy into what I think it should be and figuring out by hook and by crook the way to do the things that I want to do. BTW - it never occurred to me to include my grumpy, irritable, see the negativity in everything sober (but not recovered) husband. I'm tired of the way that I have allowed him to rob me of my joy and I'm grabbing my happiness right back out of his hands and going to go live my life. I value experiences and not things which is the opposite of him. Time to live my life for me - not him.
2nd chance at a 1st cl*** life
Join Date: Nov 2010
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Not really. I'm going through a divorce, don't really have a steady job so I can't really afford to buy my kids presents. My family are drunks too so I don't plan on spending it with them. I'm really not that fond of the holidays, I wish I could fall asleep and wake after there over.
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