Newbie from Ireland -any and all advice please!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 37
Newbie from Ireland -any and all advice please!!
Hi all!!
I've only just signed up to this forum and from browsing through the various sections am hopeful that I'll be able to use the site as a support in trying to give up drinking.
I'm a 30 year old guy and have been a problem drinker since my late teens. My problem has gotten worse over the years and as a result of concern from friends and family, poor health, poor finances and lack of personal development I've been trying to quit for the past while.
I don't drink everyday. I'm more of a weekend binge drinker. My binges can now last for days however, drinking all night and continuing into the next day. This is especially the case if I drink two days in a row. My weekends often last from thursday to sunday night.
I have tried to moderate during the past few months but have now decided that the best approach for me is total abstinence.
Once I have one drink I have no control over what happens. Sometimes I have a drunk but enjoyable time and make it home to bed. Other times I end up at parties with strangers and drinking for days. It will be easier to just give up. I'm taking it one day at a time.
I'm tired of the pain and the guilt and the depression that accompany my almost weekly blowouts like this.
I'm planning to attend a meeting called lifering here in Dublin, Ireland.
I guess I'm just looking for any and all advice and to meet people I can communicate regularly with for support. I think support will be the key to whether or not I succeed in giving up as in the past I have tended to revert to old habits the instant I felt good or better. Do people set up quitting logs on the site to keep their motivation up??
Thanks a lot in advance everyone!!!
Pete
I've only just signed up to this forum and from browsing through the various sections am hopeful that I'll be able to use the site as a support in trying to give up drinking.
I'm a 30 year old guy and have been a problem drinker since my late teens. My problem has gotten worse over the years and as a result of concern from friends and family, poor health, poor finances and lack of personal development I've been trying to quit for the past while.
I don't drink everyday. I'm more of a weekend binge drinker. My binges can now last for days however, drinking all night and continuing into the next day. This is especially the case if I drink two days in a row. My weekends often last from thursday to sunday night.
I have tried to moderate during the past few months but have now decided that the best approach for me is total abstinence.
Once I have one drink I have no control over what happens. Sometimes I have a drunk but enjoyable time and make it home to bed. Other times I end up at parties with strangers and drinking for days. It will be easier to just give up. I'm taking it one day at a time.
I'm tired of the pain and the guilt and the depression that accompany my almost weekly blowouts like this.
I'm planning to attend a meeting called lifering here in Dublin, Ireland.
I guess I'm just looking for any and all advice and to meet people I can communicate regularly with for support. I think support will be the key to whether or not I succeed in giving up as in the past I have tended to revert to old habits the instant I felt good or better. Do people set up quitting logs on the site to keep their motivation up??
Thanks a lot in advance everyone!!!
Pete
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,834
Welcome to the family!
It's hard to stop drinking but the rewards for staying sober are worth the effort it takes and the changes you must make. I'm glad you'll be going to a support group. Support is vital to staying sober. I went to AA a lot in early sobriety but now am happily staying sober with the help of my addiction counselor and this site.
All the best to you in getting and staying sober. It's worth it!
It's hard to stop drinking but the rewards for staying sober are worth the effort it takes and the changes you must make. I'm glad you'll be going to a support group. Support is vital to staying sober. I went to AA a lot in early sobriety but now am happily staying sober with the help of my addiction counselor and this site.All the best to you in getting and staying sober. It's worth it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by least 
Welcome to the family! It's hard to stop drinking but the rewards for staying sober are worth the effort it takes and the changes you must make. I'm glad you'll be going to a support group. Support is vital to staying sober. I went to AA a lot in early sobriety but now am happily staying sober with the help of my addiction counselor and this site.
All the best to you in getting and staying sober. It's worth it!
It's hard to stop drinking but the rewards for staying sober are worth the effort it takes and the changes you must make. I'm glad you'll be going to a support group. Support is vital to staying sober. I went to AA a lot in early sobriety but now am happily staying sober with the help of my addiction counselor and this site.All the best to you in getting and staying sober. It's worth it!
Can I ask whether you went to see an addiction counsellor from the moment you gave up drinking? Or was it only after you stopped attending AA?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,834
I was sent to rehab/detox by our local substance abuse center and the counseling was a requirement. At first I was rude and arrogant and stubborn... but I had to go so I kept on going. She was patient with me but also would not tolerate my BS.
I've been going for three years now and only have just short of a year sober, so she was there for me every time I relapsed... with a hug and a warning.
Altho I feel very happy and secure in my sobriety now and don't have the slightest urge to drink, I still see her once a week and it helps me in so many ways, not just with staying sober. I am truly blessed as she is a treasure and a wonderful counselor - the best I've ever had.
I've been counseling with her from right after my first stint in rehab. AA was also highly recommended by the center, and by rehab, but I only go sometimes now, to my home group, but still use the recovery 'tools' I've learned from AA.
I've been going for three years now and only have just short of a year sober, so she was there for me every time I relapsed... with a hug and a warning. Altho I feel very happy and secure in my sobriety now and don't have the slightest urge to drink, I still see her once a week and it helps me in so many ways, not just with staying sober. I am truly blessed as she is a treasure and a wonderful counselor - the best I've ever had.
I've been counseling with her from right after my first stint in rehab. AA was also highly recommended by the center, and by rehab, but I only go sometimes now, to my home group, but still use the recovery 'tools' I've learned from AA.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,188
Hi Pete, and welcome to this site. Thank you for the post and words of encouragement that you made to my thread. I wish you all the best in your journey of sobriety.
Last night I was having difficulty sleeping, so i decided to use the time productively. I need to create as negative a neuro-association toward drinking as i possibly can...so i started a list of all the bad things that have happened to me as a result of my drinking...still not finished. I had actually done this in the early stages of my 11 year sober stint. I am also keeping a list of all the things in my life that i am grateful for...highlighting those items on the list that are as a direct result of living a sober life. I plan to read and update this these daily...as well as carry them on my person.
Another thing that i am doing this time is texting 3 close friends when i get up daily....today's was: Sober Day 6...i won't drink today.
Join our November group thread...we need a nickname...any ideas?
Good luck and keep in touch.
Carlos
_________________________________
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ......Ralph Waldo Emerson
Last night I was having difficulty sleeping, so i decided to use the time productively. I need to create as negative a neuro-association toward drinking as i possibly can...so i started a list of all the bad things that have happened to me as a result of my drinking...still not finished. I had actually done this in the early stages of my 11 year sober stint. I am also keeping a list of all the things in my life that i am grateful for...highlighting those items on the list that are as a direct result of living a sober life. I plan to read and update this these daily...as well as carry them on my person.
Another thing that i am doing this time is texting 3 close friends when i get up daily....today's was: Sober Day 6...i won't drink today.
Join our November group thread...we need a nickname...any ideas?
Good luck and keep in touch.
Carlos
_________________________________
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ......Ralph Waldo Emerson
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi there, I got sober at 23 and have 16 months sober on Monday and I'm from England. Not saying that for any egotistical reason but just hopefully show you that a sober life is possible. The great thing is also that a sober life is more rewarding and gratifying than a life spent as a drunk.
I was a heavy binger too and I relate to your drinking style. I think it's quite easy to progress to a lifestyle like that in UK/Ireland, especially if you're an alcoholic!! ha-ha.
For me the crucial thing was truly accepting myself as an alcoholic, I'm also an addict too. Without that acceptance then in a culture like this and being 23 then i would have just took that first drink sooner or later, without doubt.
For me I had to totally embrace my recovery as my way of life and dedicate my life to my recovery 'one day at a time' as I realised then without my recovery I would end up dead anyway. Just don't drink 'just for today' that's the only day we have anyway.
I used and continue to AA, SR , mental health counselling/therapy on NHS and much wisdom from elsewhere too. The secret is to keep an open mind and be willing to do what's necessary to keep you gratefully sober. Also some stuff that needs dealing with may be emotionally painful but it's worth it as "you're only as sick as your secrets!"
Peace
I was a heavy binger too and I relate to your drinking style. I think it's quite easy to progress to a lifestyle like that in UK/Ireland, especially if you're an alcoholic!! ha-ha.
For me the crucial thing was truly accepting myself as an alcoholic, I'm also an addict too. Without that acceptance then in a culture like this and being 23 then i would have just took that first drink sooner or later, without doubt.
For me I had to totally embrace my recovery as my way of life and dedicate my life to my recovery 'one day at a time' as I realised then without my recovery I would end up dead anyway. Just don't drink 'just for today' that's the only day we have anyway.
I used and continue to AA, SR , mental health counselling/therapy on NHS and much wisdom from elsewhere too. The secret is to keep an open mind and be willing to do what's necessary to keep you gratefully sober. Also some stuff that needs dealing with may be emotionally painful but it's worth it as "you're only as sick as your secrets!"
Peace
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 226
Hi, Pete!
Welcome! I wish I had gotten sober when I was 30--I just wasn't ready, and my path was my path. I had to go through what I went through to get here--now newly 12 days sober after a nine-month relapse which came after 4 years of sobriety. What went wrong? Stopped going to meetings (AA) regularly, wasn't working with a sponsor, let grad school hijack my life (and got way stressed out in the process), and I became complacent.
I'm back to AA now, have a great new sponsor, and also am back in therapy with an addictions specialist, and she is terrific. Very supportive, nonjudgmental, but really pushes me too.
I'm glad you're keeping an open mind and seeking support--both through lifering and here on SR. Remember, we cannot recover in isolation--that is a universal tenet of all recovery programs.
I would give AA a try, too, and give it more than just one meeting. Sometimes the first one is just not the right fit. Also, don't let the Higher Power thing scare you off, because the program is NOT religious, but it IS spiritual. For me--and some people here might criticize this--the power of the group (a bunch of sober drunks who should otherwise be drinking, dead, in the hospital, or in jail) represents my sense of a Higher Power. It works for me.
I know I have so much to look forward to, and so do you. Just keep it in the day, and if you need to not go out with friends for awhile, then that's just what you have to do. YOU are your priority right now, and your sobriety MUST COME FIRST. You don't need to go out this weekend. Try staying home, watching some movies, reading a book, writing in a journal, and hitting a support group meeting of your choice. And hang out here. We'll be around. Just don't pick up that first drink!
Best to you.
Welcome! I wish I had gotten sober when I was 30--I just wasn't ready, and my path was my path. I had to go through what I went through to get here--now newly 12 days sober after a nine-month relapse which came after 4 years of sobriety. What went wrong? Stopped going to meetings (AA) regularly, wasn't working with a sponsor, let grad school hijack my life (and got way stressed out in the process), and I became complacent.
I'm back to AA now, have a great new sponsor, and also am back in therapy with an addictions specialist, and she is terrific. Very supportive, nonjudgmental, but really pushes me too.
I'm glad you're keeping an open mind and seeking support--both through lifering and here on SR. Remember, we cannot recover in isolation--that is a universal tenet of all recovery programs.
I would give AA a try, too, and give it more than just one meeting. Sometimes the first one is just not the right fit. Also, don't let the Higher Power thing scare you off, because the program is NOT religious, but it IS spiritual. For me--and some people here might criticize this--the power of the group (a bunch of sober drunks who should otherwise be drinking, dead, in the hospital, or in jail) represents my sense of a Higher Power. It works for me.
I know I have so much to look forward to, and so do you. Just keep it in the day, and if you need to not go out with friends for awhile, then that's just what you have to do. YOU are your priority right now, and your sobriety MUST COME FIRST. You don't need to go out this weekend. Try staying home, watching some movies, reading a book, writing in a journal, and hitting a support group meeting of your choice. And hang out here. We'll be around. Just don't pick up that first drink!
Best to you.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Welcome Pete!
One of the great things about this site is that with all of us in different time zones even in the wee hours of the morning when you need it someone is usually here. If not there are so many posts that you can read for hours every day, and that can be enough to augment your face to face efforts.
I just got tired of trying and failing because I had progressed to the point where I quit my last position, and since I could retired again, and sat around drinking every day from the moment I woke up and put some Scotch or Irish whiskey in my coffee, and drank all day. Then when it got to be more than a drink an hour and out of control to me, as if it ever was in my control when I was binging and drinking after work every night and weekend for decades,
I decided that I needed to quit and vowed tomorrow would be the day. That never worked and I was always ready with a reason today was not a good day. I didn't think I could even quit long enough to detox, and my Doc warned me to check into a hospital at my level of drinking. Now that got to my ego so I tried to do it alone for a few more weeks getting trmors and health scares all along the way. I gave up, checked into a free detox in hospital, and a follow on program. I am at 43 days now bud! I had to get to the point that you seem to be. Can'y do it alone, and had to admit that first, then do it once do it right, and hang on as things get better. They have, I will. I am stunned at how much better I feel already.
Welcome and good luck!
One of the great things about this site is that with all of us in different time zones even in the wee hours of the morning when you need it someone is usually here. If not there are so many posts that you can read for hours every day, and that can be enough to augment your face to face efforts.
I just got tired of trying and failing because I had progressed to the point where I quit my last position, and since I could retired again, and sat around drinking every day from the moment I woke up and put some Scotch or Irish whiskey in my coffee, and drank all day. Then when it got to be more than a drink an hour and out of control to me, as if it ever was in my control when I was binging and drinking after work every night and weekend for decades,
I decided that I needed to quit and vowed tomorrow would be the day. That never worked and I was always ready with a reason today was not a good day. I didn't think I could even quit long enough to detox, and my Doc warned me to check into a hospital at my level of drinking. Now that got to my ego so I tried to do it alone for a few more weeks getting trmors and health scares all along the way. I gave up, checked into a free detox in hospital, and a follow on program. I am at 43 days now bud! I had to get to the point that you seem to be. Can'y do it alone, and had to admit that first, then do it once do it right, and hang on as things get better. They have, I will. I am stunned at how much better I feel already.
Welcome and good luck!
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