A.a
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Montreal
Posts: 19
A.a
Was anyone else scared or embarassed to go to AA for the first time ?? I would like to go but just cant bring myself to do it . I am not even sure if it would help I am a real loner and have a hard time to open up to people
Last edited by OneWay; 09-27-2010 at 04:02 PM. Reason: mistake
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: S East, Pa
Posts: 41
Hi,
Yes. Right now I'm struggling with myself in a few ways, but all I can say is if you feel the need, GO to the meeting. In the past, I've driven past a meeting because the group outside looked scary or intimidating. Since, I have been to a lot of meetings. No one there will judge you, be mean to you, or beat you up:-) You can participate as much or little as you want, likely no one will pressure you. If this is your first meeting you may be most comfortable sitting and listening and staying after and asking questions or just finding someone to talk to. There are always people around after a meeting to talk to. I'm sure others here can offer good advise. Good luck.
Yes. Right now I'm struggling with myself in a few ways, but all I can say is if you feel the need, GO to the meeting. In the past, I've driven past a meeting because the group outside looked scary or intimidating. Since, I have been to a lot of meetings. No one there will judge you, be mean to you, or beat you up:-) You can participate as much or little as you want, likely no one will pressure you. If this is your first meeting you may be most comfortable sitting and listening and staying after and asking questions or just finding someone to talk to. There are always people around after a meeting to talk to. I'm sure others here can offer good advise. Good luck.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm going to direct you to the threads of two new people who recently went to their first meetings, and described their experiences: SweetCityWoman and mama36.
In addition, here's a VERY helpful page that will tell you what to expect at your first AA meeting.
I suggest you check those out, and post back with any other questions you have.
In addition, here's a VERY helpful page that will tell you what to expect at your first AA meeting.
I suggest you check those out, and post back with any other questions you have.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
I think it's always hard to seek support for addiction.
I'm not an AA person, but I know that the idea that my life was out of control and I had to find a way out, was overwhelming and scary.
I hope you find your way and you know there is always lots of support here.
I'm not an AA person, but I know that the idea that my life was out of control and I had to find a way out, was overwhelming and scary.
I hope you find your way and you know there is always lots of support here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Scared and embarrassed is a nice way to put how I felt going to my first AA meeting.
Actually, I was more a quivering, nervous, jittery, hungover, nauseous bundle of goo as I seeped through the door, lol. I tried to hide in the back, but those jerks kept saying hello to me, lol. Some of them even had the nerve to want to help me, I mean I had to wonder, what's up with these people, all smiling, saying hi, would I like some coffee, asking me if this was my first time, then taking me off to a separate room, for what I thought would be some form of interrogation. I looked around for hidden cameras, but couldn't see any. Instead they started telling me their stories. I was shaking while sitting there at that table, literally shaking, yet I began to calm down as their stories took on a familiar ring. I began to relate and kept hoping they wouldn't ask me to speak at all, but they did and I told them a little about myself and it didn't hurt near as much as I expected. In fact, it felt good to unload a little of my baggage, to admit booze had whipped my butt up one side and down the other, and they just laughed, because surprisingly, they knew me, more so than I knew myself, and it's still that way today.
Give it a try, you never now just how many friends will be behind door number 1.
Actually, I was more a quivering, nervous, jittery, hungover, nauseous bundle of goo as I seeped through the door, lol. I tried to hide in the back, but those jerks kept saying hello to me, lol. Some of them even had the nerve to want to help me, I mean I had to wonder, what's up with these people, all smiling, saying hi, would I like some coffee, asking me if this was my first time, then taking me off to a separate room, for what I thought would be some form of interrogation. I looked around for hidden cameras, but couldn't see any. Instead they started telling me their stories. I was shaking while sitting there at that table, literally shaking, yet I began to calm down as their stories took on a familiar ring. I began to relate and kept hoping they wouldn't ask me to speak at all, but they did and I told them a little about myself and it didn't hurt near as much as I expected. In fact, it felt good to unload a little of my baggage, to admit booze had whipped my butt up one side and down the other, and they just laughed, because surprisingly, they knew me, more so than I knew myself, and it's still that way today.
Give it a try, you never now just how many friends will be behind door number 1.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I never planned to drink myself into AA....
It's been an awesome adventure in living sober for me
Why not ask your best friend to go with you?
All you need to do is sit and listen.
Welcome.....
It's been an awesome adventure in living sober for me
Why not ask your best friend to go with you?
All you need to do is sit and listen.
Welcome.....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Why not go to an "open" meeting. That way you need only listen, if you want, you can say you're only a visitor and wanted to see what a meeting was like. You need not admit you have a drinking problem. Than, if you feel like it there or later on, you can open up and say what you think appropriate. In any case, you may expect a warm welcome, and I think you'll be surprised at how relaxed and upbeat the whole experience will be. I'll bet you come out of there feeling more relaxed and hopeful about things. In no way should you feel ashamed or humiliated to attend. If anything you should feel proud of yourself. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Good luck.
W.
W.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 138
Originally Posted by OneWay 
Was anyone else scared or embarassed to go to AA for the first time ?? I would like to go but just cant bring myself to do it . I am not even sure if it would help I am a real loner and have a hard time to open up to people
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Yes, yes, absolutely felt the same way. W's suggestion about an open meeting is a very good idea. I have yet to meet someone who looked forward to their first meeting, that's entirely normal. Personally, meetings are the cornerstone of my recovery (9 months and counting).
dopeless hope fiend
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
loneliness and isolation are symptoms of addiction and can be deadly.
I was afraid and embarrassed my first time. I was fearful of admitting to a group of strangers that i had a problem. Just by showing up they'd know! Gasp.
I quickly learned the absurdity of that notion for those people were exactly like me and their sole purpose for gathering(5th tradition) is to carry the message of hope and recovery to me!
My fears and preconceptions quickly fell away and i found myself in the company of people who truly understood and cared about me.
I was afraid and embarrassed my first time. I was fearful of admitting to a group of strangers that i had a problem. Just by showing up they'd know! Gasp.
I quickly learned the absurdity of that notion for those people were exactly like me and their sole purpose for gathering(5th tradition) is to carry the message of hope and recovery to me!
My fears and preconceptions quickly fell away and i found myself in the company of people who truly understood and cared about me.
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