msmelrem

Last Thursday 08/19 I left my house and stayed at my AH's aunt's house for AH to have a taste of his own medicine. He needed to learn how it feels to be left all alone at home. I moved back with the condition that we go to counseling and that was his promise. I moved back 2 Sundays ago, and when I came home, he had made so much improvements on the house. Family Pics all hung up, and the velvet writing on the wall I've been meaning to do, instead he did it. I was happy to see that he was productive, but in the back of my mind, was it the drugs that made him concentrate to stay focused and able to finish so many projects at home. I have learned to stop thinking this way, and just start to look at the positive of my husband. He has never hurt my daughter and I, and have always expressed his love for us. What urks him the most is my detective works in the past which I vow to no longer look for stuff, and start concentrating on myself. It was eating me up. Whether or not he is on drugs, sooner or later it will come out, no need to start playing CSI. I have learned creating expectations, and boundaries. Right now, he just got offered a job, so he's not stressed out. It's when he's stressed out that I feel he resorts to the bad things in life. For the first time in a long time, I gave myself a mini pedi...I have been consumed with his actions, and have forgotten mine. I love my husband, but I love me and my daughter more.

Ann

What a breath of fresh air your post is here today.

This is why we leave the choice of staying or leaving up to the individual, because sometimes staying works too.

Your recovery is shining here, keep taking care of yourself, enjoy each day, and the future will unfold as it may.

Hugs

coffeedrinker

I am glad you are doing well. I do worry that you didn't leave because you wanted to be away from AH, however. Instead, you left to punish him. It does sound as though you are doing quite well.

CatsPajamas

Thanks for your post. I know I did better when I learned about the disease of alcoholism and addiction, and when I learned about setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. That way I could make a decision and take an action from a place of what was good and right and healthy for me.

I agree with Ann - the decision to stay or to leave is a very personal one with many variables. Thanks for sharing yours with us.

msmelrem

I came back because I am partly to blame for our conflict. I too am accountable for my actions. Playing CSI will **** a person off, drugs or no drugs. Everyone is different, I'm an open book, I have nothing to hide, while some enjoy their privacy. Yesterday was my AH's first day of work, he was nervous...came home normal time, stayed up all night because he's nervous the next day, cleaned the whole house....woke up with coffee next to my bed, cereal ready for my daughter, however he's gone for work. Before, I used to think...He's high...he's not sleeping...he's not around now I say...Thank you for saving me time. This is his first time in a long time to be an employee. He's always been an independent contractor. So to think on the positive side is definitely healthier for me.