Lola1024

Having a little trouble dealing with the FOO - Not suprising as we have been in such close quarters over my mother's cancer. My brother called me tonight a drunk (which I notice is an often thing these days) wanting info and solutions for my mom's situation. I have been here a few days now and feel she is actually doing really well. We have accomplished many things actually and she seems stronger daily. My brother wants answers for the FUTURE - well heck too bad we don't know what the future holds huh ? It was just REALLY irritating to get the inquisition from him while he has been out boating all day and drinking meanwhile I am sitting at dialysis with mom for 5 damn hours. My SIL has been concerned about my brother's drinking for a years and now I see a little pattern. UGH whether he is an A or not I don't know and don't really care much at this point. His problem. I need boundries for the relationship. Starting with we are not going over mom's prognosis when he has been hitting the sauce all day. I need to stay in the day, except for constructive real planning to stay in MY recovery. If live in the future with all the fear and sadness and I got INSANE. I know this about myself.

Another stressor just to get an honorable mention - my abf - back home in California was in a rollover car accident last night. He was not driving - no drinking involved just an accident on the freeway. He called me before the ambulance even got there. Very scared etc - don't blame him one bit the SUV rolled 3 times in traffic. He ended up having to be transported to the hospital with a severed vein in his hand requiring 30 stitches etc. Once again I am in the wrong state to go to the hospital to be with someone I love. Boy am I SICK of that feeling. Went through it with mom for weeks then him last night. HP knows why - I sure as heck do not. He will be fine as will the other passengers. He proceeded to get drunk after and all day today without sleeping. This is what he does - I know that - I had to stop talking to him at a point today cause he was just too loaded. That is fine - I KNOW those boundries like the back of my hand.

Thanks for reading this far - I feel better having told all of you that understand the struggles. Tough day but it is over now. Mom is home safe and sound and I have ME time tonight.

Just in passing - my abf and my brother have the same first name - just adds a little magic . They are both in my life today leaving me using the mute button for the whole mess.

LexieCat

Wow, Lola,

One hell of a day! So glad you have all your tools in place and working. Sorry you have to carry such a load right now, but glad you can be there for your mom--I'm sure it's a great comfort to her.

Enjoy your "alone" time--you've earned it!!

Lola1024

Thanks Lexie - I enjoyed some down time last night and have today mostly free too. I must continually remind myself we are all doing our best in this difficult situation. I will admit I am a little homesick but know I really need this time with mom and am glad I could come for 3 weeks. I will be home soon enough. One day at a time... more will be revealed as we go along. I am where I need to be today.