My Thoughts on Stress, Resentment, and the Cycle of Fights in Alcoholism
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My Thoughts on Stress, Resentment, and the Cycle of Fights in Alcoholism
During my initial sober months I reflected a lot on what parts of the mind work together to keep alcoholism going. I think some of the natural (beneficial) abilities we have are the things that work against us when we have crossed the line in our drinking. For example, if we react negatively to someone's criticism, that's not necessarily a bad talent to have, because it takes a survival instinct to pick and choose which things need to matter to us, and sometimes our opinion of ourselves has to matter and we need to reject the criticism. Other times, though, we pick the wrong battle to fight, and we could be using those survival techniques in our brain toward other things worth gaining or maintaining. When we have the right combination of stress or resentment, we're in the realm of what made the cycle of addictive drinking so possible. I see Resentment as the married partner to Bondage. I didn't have long lists of people to hate, but I did have a mechanism in me that would ward off threats to my self-esteem and this was somewhere deep in the engine of my alcoholism, kept smoothly running for many years once a partnership between me and alcohol was firmly in place. But I failed ultimately in protecting my self-esteem, since alcohol didn't truly work and since alcoholism was a bad engine for survival. And it took quitting my drinking to begin some work on freedom.
I was taking a look at some files recently and came across some papers I kept from a time when I was learning about how to speak more effectively in front of people, how to present yourself, and so on. It's useful in programs like this to take a side look at things like common fears, emotions, how our bodies communicate, how our bodies work, etc. One sheet discusses some tidbits on what the body goes through when it encounters the stress of dealing with some type of "enemy." I don't see this as reliable medical information, more an opinion piece on the intricate challenges we undergo when we experience a single instance of anger, resentment, or whatever type of drama that amounts to stress:
***In reaction to a case of Fight or Flight:
-stored sugar and fats pour into the bloodstream to provide fuel for quick energy
-respiratory rate shoots up, providing more oxygen
-red blood cells flood the bloodstream, carrying more oxygen to the muscles of the limbs and brain
-heart speeds up and blood pressure soars, ensuring blood flow supply to needed areas
-blood-clotting mechanisms are activated to protect against injury
-blood leaves surface to avoid excessive bleeding
-blood goes to deeper muscles to aid in running
-muscles tense in preparation for strenuous action
-digestion ceases, so blood may be delivered to muscles and brain
-perspiration and saliva increase
-triggered by petuitary gland, the endocrine system steps up hormone production
-bowel and bladder muscles loosen
-adrenalin pours into system
-pupils dilate, allowing more light to enter
-all senses are heightened
-It takes 13 days for the body to get back to normal after anger*****
Can you believe the thing about 13 days?! Imagine the kind of complexity we add to our system when we add alcohol intake to that. Imagine what we do to ourselves when we keep the snowball rolling when we give in to things that stress us, and when we cling to resentments that are like a pilot light for when emotions can be flared up later.
Again, those points further above are supposedly natural reactions in our bodies, and the emotions that cause them are as well. We aren't perfect, so we shouldn't expect never to be angry or to use these "survival" functions (fighting or flighting) in our lives. We probably do this to ourselves in sports, but that is a more welcome "fight." But it's worth thinking about how much our body can take and what fights we should be fighting and which things are natural and desirable to have running through our veins and minds; picking which things simply matter!
I reckon this is just another way of looking at serenity and trying to understand what that really means. And why it counts so much inside one single day.
I was taking a look at some files recently and came across some papers I kept from a time when I was learning about how to speak more effectively in front of people, how to present yourself, and so on. It's useful in programs like this to take a side look at things like common fears, emotions, how our bodies communicate, how our bodies work, etc. One sheet discusses some tidbits on what the body goes through when it encounters the stress of dealing with some type of "enemy." I don't see this as reliable medical information, more an opinion piece on the intricate challenges we undergo when we experience a single instance of anger, resentment, or whatever type of drama that amounts to stress:
***In reaction to a case of Fight or Flight:
-stored sugar and fats pour into the bloodstream to provide fuel for quick energy
-respiratory rate shoots up, providing more oxygen
-red blood cells flood the bloodstream, carrying more oxygen to the muscles of the limbs and brain
-heart speeds up and blood pressure soars, ensuring blood flow supply to needed areas
-blood-clotting mechanisms are activated to protect against injury
-blood leaves surface to avoid excessive bleeding
-blood goes to deeper muscles to aid in running
-muscles tense in preparation for strenuous action
-digestion ceases, so blood may be delivered to muscles and brain
-perspiration and saliva increase
-triggered by petuitary gland, the endocrine system steps up hormone production
-bowel and bladder muscles loosen
-adrenalin pours into system
-pupils dilate, allowing more light to enter
-all senses are heightened
-It takes 13 days for the body to get back to normal after anger*****
Can you believe the thing about 13 days?! Imagine the kind of complexity we add to our system when we add alcohol intake to that. Imagine what we do to ourselves when we keep the snowball rolling when we give in to things that stress us, and when we cling to resentments that are like a pilot light for when emotions can be flared up later.
Again, those points further above are supposedly natural reactions in our bodies, and the emotions that cause them are as well. We aren't perfect, so we shouldn't expect never to be angry or to use these "survival" functions (fighting or flighting) in our lives. We probably do this to ourselves in sports, but that is a more welcome "fight." But it's worth thinking about how much our body can take and what fights we should be fighting and which things are natural and desirable to have running through our veins and minds; picking which things simply matter!
I reckon this is just another way of looking at serenity and trying to understand what that really means. And why it counts so much inside one single day.
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