vaya

My son finally showed up this morning while i was on a job interview, after missing on a 'run' for 3 days. His younger brother somehow locked him out of the apartment after he left and my AS climbed through the window and broke the screen! Ugh. Anyway, have been playing telephone tag with the detox/rehab intake person for about 2 weeks now. My son's phone is out of order, so we've been sharing mine, but he's not always with me either, so sometimes he couldn't connect with her to complete the intake process and so missed out on a bed. (I work over 1.5 hours by bus from home, so getting in touch with him in a pinch is pretty impossible..no car) Even when a bed was available she wouldn't hold it for him unless she talked to him directly by a certain time, which was pretty impossible. then he'd call back and her voice mail would come on. it's been like this for the last 2 or more weeks now! Had his previous rehab helped make some arrangements to help him get into detox or the program they recommended he go to before he come back there it would have been nice. They just told him what he had to do and that was that. The fact is he is doing what they said, but has had the worst luck getting in somewhere. They also told him to keep away from there, even though he was in their outpatient program and has a counselor there he relates too. I guess if it mattered enough to him he'd have stayed clean and reached out anyway.
Today everyone finally connected and he might get a bed tomorrow morning. However, since he was there 2 years ago she has to pull his file in the AM and will call me at 8:00 AM. I think he still gets a spot there, but we're not 100% sure until I get the call. You get the idea about how frustrating this is...and how he keeps using up until the moment he gets in.
this all comes at the same time I'm trying to consider the ESH from other members about detaching and telling him to leave. However, since we are sharing the phone right now and on hold about the detox/rehab, and he has no phone now, I'm torn it two directions. I would like him to take advantage of the detox program and rehab, he asked for it, but I'm the only way for the place to let him know about getting in. Also, I have to go with him so I can pay for the program, which means he still needs to be with me. So I can't really tell him to leave now, with the possibility of a bed so close.
Sure, he's an adult...and would try to get himself down to the place on 3 or 4 busses, but I don't know if he'd make it in the shape he's in. Is it enabling to accompany him and work with them via my phone so he gets a bed? Yes and no, since it's the only way he can get in. You see the catch 22 here? I feel I'm being as manipulated by the system, aka detox/rehab, as I am by him and it make me mad and frustrated as he#*! So now I have to put up with him high at my single studio unit place, where he and his brother also stay with me, (makes it hard to detach when he's around for sure), at least until tomorrow so he can get in! I do feel like his babysitter and am mad that he should be able to do this himself. Yes, he has no problem negotiating the bus system to score and take care of business without my help. I just don't feel I can lower the boom and ask him to leave now, since I need him to be with me tomorrow morning to take the call from detox and get the word about going there to check in.
Hope this isn't too long....but really had to vent about the frustrations of your child getting help, when they do want it and an insensitive system.

suki44883

I could be wrong, but I think I remember you saying you live in the Los Angeles area, is that correct? Check out the Salvation Army. You can read all about it here...

The Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Center: Rehabilitation Program

Salvation Army has several rehabilitation centers in your area. They are free

vaya

I've not paid for rehab before. I wasn't involved with my son for about 5 years while all this was going on. He just finished a program and about 10-11 months of sobriety and then came to stay with me. He relapsed and now this is the point things are at. As for free programs, there are only 2 in the whole Los Angeles county. He was set up for a bed in a free program in the mountains but they insisted he go to detox before the020y admit him and that's what he's been trying to do since. Detox is not free, even at the free places, they require at least a $200 deposit, even if the patient has GR, in which case they can bill Medicaid through the county. Trust me, there are no free programs which will take him the same day here. There are waiting lists for at least 4-6 weeks. If you know of any free programs that will take a heroin addict the same day, clean or dirty, in the Los Angeles county area please let me know.

keepinon

In my opinion taking him to rehab is not enabling. I like the saying from Intervention..I will do anything to help you get better, but not one more thing to help you live this way. I think taking him to rehab is supporting a positive decision. Hard to find that line between helping and enabling..but I would take my daughter if she wanted to go..it's kinda what we have all been waiting for. Sorry you are having such a hard time with the system.

vaya

Thank you keepinon for seeing it that way. Maybe it's because I'm new here, but everyone is sure to say throw him out, detach, don't enable, etc...but sometimes the situation isn't that cut and dry. I'm sure some would disagree with you, but that's what the program is all about, sharing ESH and everyone has to choose ultimately what works for them. I appreciate the references and have checked some of those out. We are Jewish, so some of them don't quite fit our belief systems. At this point, I just hope he gets a bed tomorrow and we can get there in time. Then after he detoxes he, and probably I, since he'll be in detox, will have to try and find a ride to the rehab he went to that turned him away and told him to detox. It's an hour away, up in the mountains and there is no public transportation to it. Hopefully, they'll still have a bed for him too. We'll just take it one step at a time, since that's all that can be done anyway. I'll re-check out Salvation Army too.

Chino

Did the call come?

hello-kitty

Was he there for the call? How'd it go?