JennyMac

Would you tell your boss you are seeking help to stop drinking?

Some background on this is I was drinking before going to work. Anywhere from 2 to 6 beers before hand. Being a drunk, of course I thought no one would notice.

One day two weeks ago I showed up completely wasted and frankly I'm lucky I wasn't fired. But know one said anything at all but one co-worker pulled me aside and said you are circling the drain and need to get help. That night I went to my first meeting and didn't drink for 3 or 4 days after that.

But the day after my co-worker pulled me aside my boss made several trips to my desk to give me projects and she did get up close and personal,which I took as she was sniffing for booze on my breath. She even sat at the open desk next to me for several hours that morning so when we spoke we were only about 3 feet from each other.

Now that I'm 8 days in and working my ass off at the job would you tell your boss?

I'm really torn on this.

suki44883

A couple of questions...Do you have insurance through your place of employment? If so, does it provide coverage for detox/rehab services? How long have you been there?

I ask these things because I found myself in your same situation (minus the going to work drunk) and realized that I needed help. I had insurance, so, I checked myself into a medical detox facility and got the help I needed. Insurance covered almost all of the costs, and I filed for medical leave from my employer. I wasn't paid for my time off (except for the vacation/sick days I had coming already), but it saved my job. You might want to check into that and see if you could do what I did.

Supercrew

I would say no. Unless you work for a larger company where they have services to help you in recovery, and a policy about helping you through personal issues. Otherwise I would steer clear of admitting to the problem unless you are asked. In this economy companies are looking for reasons to get rid of people and lower payroll. By justy admitting it you could be giving them a reason to find another reason to let you go. Being that you are now making an effort to get sober losing your job at this time could push you back to the bottle. Do what you think you have to, but my opinion would be no at least until you are in a better place.

least

Seeing as how your boss has already smelled booze on you at work it might be a good idea to tell them you are in recovery now and learning to live sober.

JennyMac

I just hit the one year mark with this company and yes there is insurance but it is $1500 out of pocket deductible which I don't have.

I'm thinking I should just let my work speak for it self and let go of the past. I just don't know.

Dee74

It's a matter of personal choice I think Jenny.

D

suki44883

Of course, you know more about your work situation that I do, so if you feel it's best not to say anything, then okay. The thing is, at least one person already knows, and it's possible your supervisor knows too. Being up front and honest might be a good thing, if you are getting help at the same time. I wish you good luck.

MelindaFlowers

Hi Jenny!

There is a person at my work who comes to work looking pretty hung over most days and coworkers have smelled alcohol on her several times at work. Nobody has said anything to her because it has never interfered with her performance. If she continues to come into work after drinking I am sure it will be a problem with the bosses in the future. If she were to get sober right now and stay sober it would never be a problem in the future.

Dee is definitely right, this is a personal decision. But I know that when I post a question on here I like to get lots of different opinions, even when I know that only I can make the final decision.

If my boss had never asked, written me up, asked me "what was wrong," I would never, ever speak a word about it at work. I would use it as motivation to stay sober and demonstrate a new improved me at the workplace. This would be my plan if I was ready to stay sober and did not need my employer/insurance for rehab. That's where I'm at now.


I don't know if my bosses ever knew that my eyes looked tired every morning because of drinking the night before, but I suspect that when I go back this fall (I don't work during the summer) I am pretty sure that it might come up that I look better, more bright eyed, etc. I looked pretty run down up until May. If I'm asked what my secret is
I'll tell them that I've been using my thighmaster, I read Raquel Welch's book "Aging Gracefully" twice over the summer, and I can't wait to start work again.

Use this as a motivation to stay sober. And congratulations on your 8 days!

JennyMac

Thanks all for the advice and opinions. I really appreciate it.

coffeenut

Melinda said what I would have said.

Use this as motivation.....a huge wake up call to get and stay sober.

Stick close to SR...lots of good people here.

ANEWAUGUST

Hi there..

You have been given alot of great advice.

As Dee said, it is a matter of personal choice.

As Melinda said, if you haven't been confronted and your are working a program, I would not mention it, and continue on your path of recovery.

Your actions will speak for you.

HumbleBee

Welcome Jenny,

I also think it's helpful to get feedback (that may include things you hadn't considered), but it is ultimately your decision since only you know the specifics of your situation.

That said, if it were me, I'd let my actions do the talking and not come clean and confess all. Once you do that, you become fair game for discrimination based on admission (despite employee rights). Right now, you're only suspect.

In this economy, I've seen people fired for less than coming to work smelling of alcohol or even drunk.

In one case, the boss wanted to get her husband's brother into the company; in many other cases, there are just too many people out of work who would take the [your] job for less money and have no substance abuse issues.

To me, your boss's sidling to try to smell alcohol and sitting a mere few feet away from you for hours on end sounds more like fact-gathering than a concern for your welfare.

These are tough times and from what I've seen, companies can't afford liabilities and quite frankly, don't have the time for them.

Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise and was the push you needed to get sober. We're here for you. Please let us know how it goes.

JennyMac

So true Humblebee. It came across as fact gathering to me too and my gut is telling me to just work and be myself and not say a word.

As my co-worker who told me to get my act together said, they can't fire you unless they catch you otherwise they have no proof.

This is a very good point and one I didn't think about at all.

Thanks again all. You guys are great.

mercurial me

I came clean with my boss years ago that I had an alcohol problem. I was then surprised when he told me about the history of alcoholism in his family. He was very supportive and non- judgmental. Every so often now he sits me down to "check in" on how things are going. I don't believe it is because he is dissatisfied by my work performance but that he is just a genuinely caring employer.

I've got to say though, it is tough to broach this issue with him. It is such a personal thing and there are days when I'm glad I revealed to him that I'm an alcoholic and other days I wish I'd kept my mouth shut.

Either way, props to you for thinking of how you're going to deal with it. It takes guts

ElegantlyWasted

You know your health plan, social dynamics, mgmt approach to substance abuse at your workplace better than we do. With the right management it might be a great avenue to get needed help; the wrong mgmt... No job. Just figure out the best way to get what you need...

coming_clean

I agree with u...

most company's and or bosses don't have a lot of understanding, all they think about is productivity and positive numbers...