littlebluedog

I'm an alcoholic, and have been sober and in recovery since June 1st, 2009. I'm here about my husband. I've had concerns about his drinking in the past, but they always seem to fizzle out and he seems fine for a while. I've noticed lately that he's been drinking more than usual. His attitude changes when he drinks, and it's not even worth trying to have a rational conversation with him when he gets that way. He's not beligerent, but he's moody. Today I was cleaning out my car, and I found an empty 5th of vodka under my seat. Called him at work, asked him about it, and his response was that it must have been old. Now, I know it's not old. Even if that had been the case, what difference would that have made anyway? He got very quiet. Then asked what I wanted him to say. My response was that I didn't know, but that people who drink normally usually don't hide bottles under car seats. I know I can't make him recover, that I can't force help upon him, and that if he wants it, he has to do it on his own. My hope of course, is that he's just a heavy drinker, not yet an alcoholic, and can nip this in the bud before things escalate to the jumping off point. But that remains to be seen.

sandrawg

As an alcoholic yourself, I'm sure you're aware, alcoholism is progressive...what is the difference between "heavy drinker" and "alcoholic", when the results and consequences are exactly the same?

littlebluedog

Indeed. There's a part in the Big Book of AA that talks about the difference, but that's neither here nor there. You're right about the consequences for the present time being just as awful. Thanks for the response.

Freedom1990

I'd highly recommend starting to attend Alanon as well as AA for yourself.

Scott1970

I agree with freedom...you might want to try alanon. I have been sober for about 7 months. I have had a few people recommend Alanon for me because of my codee behaviors. My wife who never drank before, is bringing wine home then it mysteriously disappears..hmmm, maybe the dogs drank it. I know she has an eating disorder as well but will not admit to it. Yes I am working on my life from the AA standpoint, but I know I also need to work on myself from the other perspective.

OK to be honest I have not myself gone to Alanon b/c I was scared of being judged because of my past (silly thought). I know I need to go. My home life is a constant turmoil now and I need all the faith, support and fellowship I can take. AA has really helped me in one way, but it is time for me to work on the whole package.

By the way littlebluedog..I love Rodrigue and have three of his prints at home!

RollTide

Scott1970, I can assure you that if you were in my Alanon group you would not be judged because of your past. We all have pasts. Those of us who are willing to examine them can learn a lot about ourselves.