Day 5 - Struggling Today!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 39
Day 5 - Struggling Today!
Hi all. I'm up to day 5 and it's been ok-ish so far. I've got through so far by focusing on all the positives that have come from not drinking. Stupid things like when I lost my keys and my boyfriend helped me tear the house apart looking for them, he's not quietly seething because he thinks I lost them because I was drunk. And last night instead of only having half my mind on my gorgeous daughter's night-time routine and half my mind on the bottle of wine at the end of it, we had a perfect evening instead. The World Cup is hard for me when it comes to not drinking so, because Italy were playing, I let her help me make pizza and pasta.
But last night was a real test. Had a row with the other half and stomped off to the shop to get some cigarettes. While I was p*ssed off with myself for buying them I was so glad that I didn't get the usual alcohol that goes with it.
Today I've hit a slump though. I've got loads to do tonight, other half is on the way home with his three kids, I have my daughter just out of the bath ready to dry her hair. I need to get tea on and put washing away and do the kids homework etc. etc. Usually I do this on a little buzz and right now I'm feeling really terrified and useless.
Sorry to sound "poor me". I just needed to sound off and get it off my chest. Now I'm going to take a deep breath and plough on. I'm not sure I could do it without the support of this site. My only regret is that I'm so busy doing other things that NEED to be done I don't get anywhere near the time I'd like to come on here and read more and contribute more. There are always so many people around in the house! But thanks all xxx
But last night was a real test. Had a row with the other half and stomped off to the shop to get some cigarettes. While I was p*ssed off with myself for buying them I was so glad that I didn't get the usual alcohol that goes with it.
Today I've hit a slump though. I've got loads to do tonight, other half is on the way home with his three kids, I have my daughter just out of the bath ready to dry her hair. I need to get tea on and put washing away and do the kids homework etc. etc. Usually I do this on a little buzz and right now I'm feeling really terrified and useless.
Sorry to sound "poor me". I just needed to sound off and get it off my chest. Now I'm going to take a deep breath and plough on. I'm not sure I could do it without the support of this site. My only regret is that I'm so busy doing other things that NEED to be done I don't get anywhere near the time I'd like to come on here and read more and contribute more. There are always so many people around in the house! But thanks all xxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Whistler, British Columbia
Posts: 222
Hey Pizza
How old is your little girl? I have 3 girls and a boy and bath time at night is the first thing we do together when I get home from work, and my most favorite time of the day.
It gives me a chance to spend a few moments alone with the kids while dinner is getting finished. I like combing there hair and asking what they did during the day. It is a very relaxing time for me to unwind and wash away the days work stress.
Maybe instead of wishing for the buzz while doing this nightly routine think about how lucky you are to have your very own daughter who looks up to you.
I am using my own kids to re-live my childhood. Nostalgic candies from this corner store near our house, night time reading before bed and spending the weekends in the forest turning over rocks to see what creatures we can discover together.
So many parents take this short time you get with your kids for granted, instead ignore them and get drunk in front of the TV every single night.
Think about it
How old is your little girl? I have 3 girls and a boy and bath time at night is the first thing we do together when I get home from work, and my most favorite time of the day.
It gives me a chance to spend a few moments alone with the kids while dinner is getting finished. I like combing there hair and asking what they did during the day. It is a very relaxing time for me to unwind and wash away the days work stress.
Maybe instead of wishing for the buzz while doing this nightly routine think about how lucky you are to have your very own daughter who looks up to you.
I am using my own kids to re-live my childhood. Nostalgic candies from this corner store near our house, night time reading before bed and spending the weekends in the forest turning over rocks to see what creatures we can discover together.
So many parents take this short time you get with your kids for granted, instead ignore them and get drunk in front of the TV every single night.
Think about it
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Pizzachef,
I really recommend getting telephone numbers from other women in AA. This is the time when you need you can make quick phone calls when you are in the middle of doing all the stuff around the house that needs to be done. You will be surprised at how effective having "real" sober alcoholic friends is - they really can be there for you in your time of need. They may also give you a place to go to (without alcohol), if you need to get out of the house for a break.
I would also suggest looking to get yourself a sponsor and to work the steps in AA. Ultimately this is where the solution lies to living a happy life free from alcohol.
Well done on 5 days.
I really recommend getting telephone numbers from other women in AA. This is the time when you need you can make quick phone calls when you are in the middle of doing all the stuff around the house that needs to be done. You will be surprised at how effective having "real" sober alcoholic friends is - they really can be there for you in your time of need. They may also give you a place to go to (without alcohol), if you need to get out of the house for a break.
I would also suggest looking to get yourself a sponsor and to work the steps in AA. Ultimately this is where the solution lies to living a happy life free from alcohol.
Well done on 5 days.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: London
Posts: 266
Pizzachef,
Think of how would you feel tomorrow, explaining how you failed to yourself, and starting at day 1 that is always more difficult than day 6 after drinking. Do not focus on anything else. Do not overdo. Stop thinking of things that NEED to be done. I am struggling myself too. My kids are playing in the background. Among the many things I demand from myself every single day is to spend every minute devoted to the kids when I am not at work.
I am spending quite a lot of time on SR instead of the normal routine, because I am focusing on getting sober in a real way, not only my usual dry weeks in the week to justify the next excess.
Think of how would you feel tomorrow, explaining how you failed to yourself, and starting at day 1 that is always more difficult than day 6 after drinking. Do not focus on anything else. Do not overdo. Stop thinking of things that NEED to be done. I am struggling myself too. My kids are playing in the background. Among the many things I demand from myself every single day is to spend every minute devoted to the kids when I am not at work.
I am spending quite a lot of time on SR instead of the normal routine, because I am focusing on getting sober in a real way, not only my usual dry weeks in the week to justify the next excess.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 83
Hi Pizza!! youre my favorite food
you and me are on the same day and I know if I can get though it you can.
when I get stressed I take a time out and close my eyes and breathe and think about
how great I felt this morning and how much better it feels to be sober it only takes a minute and the bad feelings will pass. tomorrows a new day. hang in there I will be thinking about you
you and me are on the same day and I know if I can get though it you can.
when I get stressed I take a time out and close my eyes and breathe and think about
how great I felt this morning and how much better it feels to be sober it only takes a minute and the bad feelings will pass. tomorrows a new day. hang in there I will be thinking about you
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 39
I ended up being so busy last night and today I don’t know how I ever had time to drink ha ha! Seriously though – toughest two days so far. I work in a school and I was challenged by a particularly vile specimen this afternoon. Usually I would handle it really well, sticking to the strategies and keeping calm but today he just floored me. I wanted a drink right then more than anything. I keep telling myself that all these things are tests. If I give in to a single one of them, then what’s the point of sobriety? Life is full of obstacles and I’m better facing them sober - at least that’s what I told myself when I’d worn myself sobbing angry tears!
And that’s the thing. I’m so ANGRY sober! I’m agitated because I’m not drinking and I am having to find new ways of facing up to problems with a sober head and I’m temporarily raking over my worst drunken moments in order to make a mental diary to help me never reach for that FIRST drink again!
I’m also pretty pi**sed off that I don’t get on here as much as I’d like - because just reading the posts alone has definitely, DEFINITELY helped as much as AA. So thank you all xxx
Thanks for that bcboy – you are so right. She does look up to me and far too many times she “looked up” to see that mummy had a glass of wine in her hand. I’ve never ignored her as such but I have rushed that lovely nightly routine you mention so I could crack open the cheapest bottle from the shop. Now I a lot to make up for. And I AM so lucky.
Wilde10 – I really wouldn’t be on day 6 if I didn’t have this forum!!
Thanks Intention. I have only been to one meeting due to work/family commitments and fully intend to go to my next one on Friday. Due to the website not being correct I missed most of the last meeting and the person who was meant to have a key to the literature cupboard didn’t turn up so I’m looking forward to learning more about it – and not being quite so terrified of the unknown!
Ha ha ha! This made me laugh lastchance! Laughter has been thin on the ground in this house for the last six days – I’m acting like I’ve got permanent PMT!!!! You are right though – it’s lovely to wake up sober in the mornings and even if I was vile to Himself the night before, at least now I know I meant it (and can remember it) ha ha!
And that’s the thing. I’m so ANGRY sober! I’m agitated because I’m not drinking and I am having to find new ways of facing up to problems with a sober head and I’m temporarily raking over my worst drunken moments in order to make a mental diary to help me never reach for that FIRST drink again!
I’m also pretty pi**sed off that I don’t get on here as much as I’d like - because just reading the posts alone has definitely, DEFINITELY helped as much as AA. So thank you all xxx
Originally Posted by bcboy 
Maybe instead of wishing for the buzz while doing this nightly routine think about how lucky you are to have your very own daughter who looks up to you....
So many parents take this short time you get with your kids for granted, instead ignore them and get drunk in front of the TV every single night.
So many parents take this short time you get with your kids for granted, instead ignore them and get drunk in front of the TV every single night.
Originally Posted by Wilde10
I am spending quite a lot of time on SR instead of the normal routine, because I am focusing on getting sober in a real way, not only my usual dry weeks in the week to justify the next excess.
Originally Posted by intention
I would also suggest looking to get yourself a sponsor and to work the steps in AA. Ultimately this is where the solution lies to living a happy life free from alcohol.
Originally Posted by 1lastchance
when I get stressed I take a time out and close my eyes and breathe and think about how great I felt this morning and how much better it feels to be sober it only takes a minute and the bad feelings will pass. tomorrows a new day. hang in there I will be thinking about you
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Pizza, you're right, avoiding the first drink is a move toward success. I remember the first sensation of anger once the sober time was accumulating. It was like being a kid again in a way. I think (don't know, "think") I started learning how to manage it better as time rolled on. I don't have a lot of people and "workload" around me though, so I think you should be pretty impressed with yourself and use that through the next week, and so on.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Pizza!! Please give yourself a pat on the back for getting through it all. Just having children is stressful in itself, and if you also work and are trying to get sober, well...... you deserve at LEAST a badge, more like a huge solid gold trophy!
I hope you can find some time to relax, to be good to yourself, and especially to give yourself alot of credit.
I found that I was VERY irritable for at least a week after getting sober. Infact, it's one of the symptoms of PAWS (check it out if you haven't). It has gotten alot better, so hang in there, and try some herbal tea with relaxing properties. It's not a coincidence that two of the favorite AA sayings are "Easy Does It" and "Keep It Simple." I have to use them quite often!
All the best to you and congrats on 5 days!!
I hope you can find some time to relax, to be good to yourself, and especially to give yourself alot of credit.
I found that I was VERY irritable for at least a week after getting sober. Infact, it's one of the symptoms of PAWS (check it out if you haven't). It has gotten alot better, so hang in there, and try some herbal tea with relaxing properties. It's not a coincidence that two of the favorite AA sayings are "Easy Does It" and "Keep It Simple." I have to use them quite often!
All the best to you and congrats on 5 days!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 83
Today Pizza has successfully completed another wonderful day of sobriety she stood gallantly with head held high to face and triumph over the challenges before her.
we are proud to present her with this badge of courage and for her continued success to overcome all that stands in her way.
Here's to you! go get'em Tiger!
we are proud to present her with this badge of courage and for her continued success to overcome all that stands in her way.
Here's to you! go get'em Tiger!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 39
1LastChance - thank you SOOO much! That's going in the document of odds and ends I'm saving to look at when I'm tempted to have a drink. And thank you all so much for your encouragement. 7 days and counting x x x
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: rather not say
Posts: 2
I don't know where to post. Hi everyone! I am 17 days dry but today is tough. My wife is out of town and all I can think about is driving to the liquor store for a 12-pack of beer.
I think I will be okay once the Yankees come on and I read a book during the game. I am so sorry. I wish I had someone to talk to!. God Bless.
I think I will be okay once the Yankees come on and I read a book during the game. I am so sorry. I wish I had someone to talk to!. God Bless.
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