SlvrMag

I don't know exactly what it is I want to say here so forgive me if I babble on!

Today would have been my 2 year anniversary being clean. In March I went to my old town to visit my children and I stayed for 8 weeks. My 6th week there I went to see an old friend and I got high, thinking to myself "just this once". I got high for 2 weeks.

Now I am back home and clean again and doing fine, except I am kicking myself in the a$$ because I am back on week 3. I took the pride I had in myself and threw it away.

I'm going to start meetings again. I used to secretary the NA meetings in my home group but the people I was so familiar with are 7 hours away from me. Starting over will be tough, but meetings helped me so much, gave me the tools I needed to keep me clean.

Anyways, just wanted to say that if you are wondering if you're missing anything out there...you're not. Believe me.

Anna

Hi,

You haven't lost the two years that you had in recovery. You have grown and learned, and now you can move forward again.

Good for you for continuing to try!

Hevyn

SlvrMag - Anna's right. Those 2 yrs. are not lost, nothing can take away that accomplishment. I did the same thing, with alcohol - over & over I'd think it would be different if I just used willpower. "Just this once", and I'd go back on the wagon. It never worked out that way, and I kept playing with it until I almost lost my life.

You'll have even more resolve this time - never again will you have to be disappointed in yourself. That was the last time, and it's a new day.

NEOMARXIST

Thanks for posting. It takes a lot to admit that and be so humble about it all. Like others say you obviously haven't lost those 2 years but I can appreciate it still must be hard psychologically.

You have helped this recovering alcoholic with your post. No doubt helped many other alcoholics/addicts too. So thankyou. I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Dee74

I don't think you've lost those nearly two years either SM.

It would be easy to fall and not get up again.
You got up again

I'm glad to see you back.

D

vegibean

Ditto to what Dee said.

SlvrMag

Thank You all so much!


This brought tears to my eyes:



I love my SR friends!

hendershot

Going out is easy. Getting back is tough. Thanks for your post. I don't know about newcomers but as someone approaching 2 yrs in several months I needed to hear it.

augustwest

Congrats on making it back! I've never heard one of us talk about how good things were back out in the using world. Obviously there's a reason for that.

least

Welcome back! :ghug3

artsoul

Your post meant alot to me, too, Slvr. I'm struggling with a craving right now, and what keeps me from going out and getting some alcohol is that I really believe everyone here knows what they're talking about. There is NO reason for me to drink today, none at all.

Thanks again!

coffeenut

I'm glad you're back....and you let us know what happened.

You have some excellent advice from some excellent people here.

Thank you for this thread!