Something that helps me..finally!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: huntington wv
Posts: 46
Something that helps me..finally!
I've found that my resolve to stay away, to stay out of contact, is greatly strengthened by 2 things. The first is the ability to block calls. Every time he calls me from a new number, I block it. Immediately. I don't listen to his message if he leaves one. Texts are blocked too.
The other, and this was hard at first but it's easier now, is to say, honestly, openly, and OUT LOUD to another person the things he did to me. I used to need this more often, now I'm ok with a couple times a week. I found myself just a couple of weeks ago telling my aunt when she asked me about his prison sentence that he got drunk and beat "someone" up. I stopped and said to myself, "self, why are you protecting him? why are you still shielding him from others bad opinions?" and I realized that it was because I felt that hias bad actions reflected badly on me, because I made such a poor choie. I said to my aunt" actually, he got drunk and beat up an old lady. It was pretty severe, and honestly he's getting less than he deserves. The lady had to have reconstructive surgery to fix her face." When I tell someone, see their reaction, I can keep it front in my mind. Maybe that's what therapy is, I don't know, but it helps.
Just thought I'd share.
The other, and this was hard at first but it's easier now, is to say, honestly, openly, and OUT LOUD to another person the things he did to me. I used to need this more often, now I'm ok with a couple times a week. I found myself just a couple of weeks ago telling my aunt when she asked me about his prison sentence that he got drunk and beat "someone" up. I stopped and said to myself, "self, why are you protecting him? why are you still shielding him from others bad opinions?" and I realized that it was because I felt that hias bad actions reflected badly on me, because I made such a poor choie. I said to my aunt" actually, he got drunk and beat up an old lady. It was pretty severe, and honestly he's getting less than he deserves. The lady had to have reconstructive surgery to fix her face." When I tell someone, see their reaction, I can keep it front in my mind. Maybe that's what therapy is, I don't know, but it helps.
Just thought I'd share.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Have you tried any live meetings?
I know that when I found live meetings I also found friends who understood everything I had been through and was going through...and never once judged me. It was a safe place to share anything I wanted, without worrying about regretting it later.
I would go for coffee after the meetings and was so inspired by the ones who had been there a while and could help me along.
It's good you feel free to be honest today. Maybe reward yourself with some live meetings that will help you heal and grow.
Hugs
I know that when I found live meetings I also found friends who understood everything I had been through and was going through...and never once judged me. It was a safe place to share anything I wanted, without worrying about regretting it later.
I would go for coffee after the meetings and was so inspired by the ones who had been there a while and could help me along.
It's good you feel free to be honest today. Maybe reward yourself with some live meetings that will help you heal and grow.
Hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: huntington wv
Posts: 46
The closest live meeting to me is over an hour away. I've done chat meeting, and of course the board here, but live meetings aren't an option right now. Maybe a chapter will open up soon.
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