newcomer? sort of .....
Toro Solo
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: san francisco
Posts: 103
newcomer? sort of .....
Hello all,
I sit here wanting a glass of wine because that is what I do every night. Well at least every night for the last few years. But tonight I'm trying again to stop drinking. I've been trying for most of my life.
I'm in my forties now and I'm no better at controlling my drinking then I was the very first time at 12 or 13... blacked out, threw up on myself you know the story..
I will most likely make it through tonight without a drink and I'll try to do the same tomorrow.. I'm glad that I've found this forum as it may help me when
I won't or can't go to a meeting which btw, I hope to do tomorrow night.
I sit here wanting a glass of wine because that is what I do every night. Well at least every night for the last few years. But tonight I'm trying again to stop drinking. I've been trying for most of my life.
I'm in my forties now and I'm no better at controlling my drinking then I was the very first time at 12 or 13... blacked out, threw up on myself you know the story..
I will most likely make it through tonight without a drink and I'll try to do the same tomorrow.. I'm glad that I've found this forum as it may help me when
I won't or can't go to a meeting which btw, I hope to do tomorrow night.
You'll find lots of support and good information here to help you in your quest to stop drinking. Living sober rocks, in my opinion. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Welcome , N. Normal
I'm glad you found this site too.
SR has been a tremendous help for me the last seven weeks, as my work schedule limits access to many meetings in this area, but SR is international , so there are folks here 24/7........... and a great bunch of people they are
A real blessing. Hope you'll keep us ' posted" on your recovery
I'm glad you found this site too.
SR has been a tremendous help for me the last seven weeks, as my work schedule limits access to many meetings in this area, but SR is international , so there are folks here 24/7........... and a great bunch of people they are
A real blessing. Hope you'll keep us ' posted" on your recovery
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325
Good Luck, stick around here. Its the best bunch of people youll find on the web an din this sort of forum, Ive never quite experienced anyhting like SR. Sooo much to read, respond and support to be given and recieved.
Good Luck, please post and hang around for a long while.
Good luck!
<3 Dream
Good Luck, please post and hang around for a long while.
Good luck!
<3 Dream
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi notnormal - how's your day going? Congratulations for waking up sober today. The mornings are definitely my favorite part of the day now - I used to dread them. It got to the point where I started feeling pretty bad almost every morning, even if I didn't get buzzed the night before.
There are so many good things about stepping out of that vicious cycle. I hope you'll keep posting and reading. You can do it!
There are so many good things about stepping out of that vicious cycle. I hope you'll keep posting and reading. You can do it!
Toro Solo
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: san francisco
Posts: 103
going to go to a meeting.. tail between my legs. figure I should be used to that by now..
it's gotten to the point where i'm afraid who i might run into most days.
least i shouldn't do anything tonight to embarrass myself. then again, it's early.
thanks
it's gotten to the point where i'm afraid who i might run into most days.
least i shouldn't do anything tonight to embarrass myself. then again, it's early.
thanks
Toro Solo
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: san francisco
Posts: 103
my first meeting, this time 'round.....
I've always know I'm not normal. Even amongst a circle of hard partying friends I've known. It was nice to leave the meeting tonight knowing that there's a lot of others who aren't normal either.
It's a bummer though to be so insecure as to not be able to just enjoy the company of many who are much like me without looking at the many ways they are not.
Egomaniac with an inferiority complex really does describe me best. I probably heard that description 20 years ago but tonight I remembered it for the first time in many many years and for good reason.
Tomorrow night I have to go out with my wife and friends to dinner. I wish it wasn't so soon. I haven't even told my wife I'm trying to quit drinking, again. I've tried many times and well to be honest she's not a big fan of the idea as it has been known to cramp her partying style.
She'd I guess, rather have a husband who is a sloppy drunk (frequently) than one who wants to call the evening quits at a reasonable hour (seems I just don't have the all night energy when I'm not drinking, hmmm).
This shouldn't be an issue tomorrow but it will be.... anyone have any experience with a spouse who is a heavy drinker, partier?
It's a bummer though to be so insecure as to not be able to just enjoy the company of many who are much like me without looking at the many ways they are not.
Egomaniac with an inferiority complex really does describe me best. I probably heard that description 20 years ago but tonight I remembered it for the first time in many many years and for good reason.
Tomorrow night I have to go out with my wife and friends to dinner. I wish it wasn't so soon. I haven't even told my wife I'm trying to quit drinking, again. I've tried many times and well to be honest she's not a big fan of the idea as it has been known to cramp her partying style.
She'd I guess, rather have a husband who is a sloppy drunk (frequently) than one who wants to call the evening quits at a reasonable hour (seems I just don't have the all night energy when I'm not drinking, hmmm).
This shouldn't be an issue tomorrow but it will be.... anyone have any experience with a spouse who is a heavy drinker, partier?
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi notnormal - you made it through another day and went to a meeting, which is GREAT! I hope you give yourself a little credit for that and I also hope that you take it easy on yourself. Everyone is somewhat insecure and fearful.
I thought alcohol gave me confidence, too, but to tell you the truth, it just numbed my self-consciousness temporarily. It was actually eroding my ability to respect myself - it was eroding "me" little by little. Now that I'm sober, I feel alot more secure. There's really no way we can successfully deal with life when we're drinking every day.
Anyway, I hope you think about yourself for a while (and let your wife pitch a fit if she wants - your sobriety should be number one on the list). If she really wants you to keep drinking (instead of supporting your decision),could it be that she has a problem too (?).
Hang in there - you can do it!:ghug3
I thought alcohol gave me confidence, too, but to tell you the truth, it just numbed my self-consciousness temporarily. It was actually eroding my ability to respect myself - it was eroding "me" little by little. Now that I'm sober, I feel alot more secure. There's really no way we can successfully deal with life when we're drinking every day.
Anyway, I hope you think about yourself for a while (and let your wife pitch a fit if she wants - your sobriety should be number one on the list). If she really wants you to keep drinking (instead of supporting your decision),could it be that she has a problem too (?).
Hang in there - you can do it!:ghug3
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325
Good Morning Not Normal,
Im glad you made it to the meeting, like you said sometimes you just need to be reminded that there are other out there just like you and remember "normal" is a setting on a washing machine, when it somes to people I dont know 1 "normal" one.
I'm sorry you have the issue of your wife, but remember for now thats her issue and you should really focus on yourself. I have about the same problem. Not with drinking, my husband got "bored" with it about aq year ago and just got sick of it and rarely drinks. But he does have some other substance issues we of course share, that I am trying to stop he doesnt feel the need, so although I would be the "hard partier" where he always keeps his cool, we do the same thing but people tell me to get help, but hes OK. Im just saying I completely understand that scenerio.
I can only say just work on yourself right now and hopefully shell see the positive changes and ffollow, thats my hope for me, but right now quitting drinking (on day 3 here again of many appempts) is not the easiest for me and I cant carry him too and try to force him to follow me...I just pray he will.
Have a great day!
<3 Dream
Im glad you made it to the meeting, like you said sometimes you just need to be reminded that there are other out there just like you and remember "normal" is a setting on a washing machine, when it somes to people I dont know 1 "normal" one.
I'm sorry you have the issue of your wife, but remember for now thats her issue and you should really focus on yourself. I have about the same problem. Not with drinking, my husband got "bored" with it about aq year ago and just got sick of it and rarely drinks. But he does have some other substance issues we of course share, that I am trying to stop he doesnt feel the need, so although I would be the "hard partier" where he always keeps his cool, we do the same thing but people tell me to get help, but hes OK. Im just saying I completely understand that scenerio.
I can only say just work on yourself right now and hopefully shell see the positive changes and ffollow, thats my hope for me, but right now quitting drinking (on day 3 here again of many appempts) is not the easiest for me and I cant carry him too and try to force him to follow me...I just pray he will.
Have a great day!
<3 Dream
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