Rev

I don't know if this is just my issue, but if there are others who feel beaten down by this problem, I'm starting this thread as kind of a Procrastinators Anonymous Group. And, since the "meeting" is ongoing (in thread form) you never have to worry about it being postponed.

I'm honestly not sure even what to do about the problem. I put off just about anything that causes me stress, whether it's an unpleasant task, one that will take alot of time, or just something that gives me that "where do I start?" feeling. I've just realized after giving up alcohol that drinking was really only part of a bigger problem: the problem of managing my life.

I'm one of those people with ability, but I always have difficulty getting started, and staying on track. It makes me feel pretty awful, sometimes. I start schedules and to-do lists for myself, then watch them get pushed back day after day, week after week, until I feel like I want to give up at life. I tried to imagine what my life would be like if I were a "get it done" kind of person, and it seemed too good to be true. I feel like my own worst enemy, in this way.

Does anyone else face a similar problem? And would you be interested in working on this problem with me, and other Procrastiholics?

Thanks,

Rev

Rev

Overcoming Procrastination - Wikibooks, collection of open-content textbooks

Here's an online book I found that deals with this subject.

Rev

JimInTexas

Hi Rev-
Interesting topic. Speaking for myself, I never had that problem at my job. Just at home with things that needed to be done around the house and property. Newly sober, I decided I would make a list of projects to do on the weekend instead of drinking constantly Friday night through Sunday night. The list was so da**ed long, I did not know where to start or what to start on, so that first weekend, I just watched tv. So, the way I tackled the problem was to honestly figure how much time each project would take, and how long I wanted to spend working. Then, I would pick a couple of things I knew I could get done, and do them. Short periods of time at first, and then longer as I felt better about myself and my ability to complete the tasks. I had a great sense of accomplishment that I had actually DONE something constructive. Stupid as it sounds, I started feeling good about myself. So, to summarize-make your "to-do" list a little less daunting. Baby steps, my friend! Good luck. Thanks for the book link, btw.
Jim

Impurrfect

Yep, I'm a procrastinator, too. I don't do it at work, or if I have any type of deadline I HAVE to meet, but if it's something that is left up to me as to when it gets done, I will usually postpone it.

I've got to go to work in a bit, so will read the link later (have to work all night, then go back in tomorrow afternoon). I plan to spend the NEXT day catching up on sleep and hanging out on SR, which, of course, means not much else will be accomplished

Good thread idea...hopefully we can tackle this problem head on!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

artsoul

Rev - Don't know if I'm quite ready to tackle this yet, so I may have to put it off, lol.

But seriously, during these first few days of sobriety, I'm trying to keep from being overwhelmed by things that have been on my to-do list for years. Like Jim, my list is too D*** long. I put off alot of stuff because I was drinking (said I didn't care, but I really did - I was just too miserable alot of the time to do things). I also think I make alot of decisions based on my mood/emotions. If I didn't think it would be fun to do or give me instant reward, it didn't get done. Bored again. Time for a drink, right?

Another thing I've noticed during these first few glimpses of sanity, is that I stopped enjoying what was in front of me and that I am very impatient with myself. I feel as though I have to work harder and faster - for what, I don't know. And beating myself up for what's NOT done, rather than living life.
I hope I can change these things in myself and do things in a calmer, more peaceful way.

AmericanGirl

I second what other people are saying about not getting too overwhelmed by the sense of having to do things, Rev. I also think there are a lot of psychological things attached to procrastination which are very difficult (and perhaps self-sabotaging). I have had serious problems with this at times -- confronting problems just took too much anxiety, sometimes, so I became very good at repressing them by procrastinating.

BUT, I do have a practical suggestion that has helped me. First, I remind myself that productivity can really help me feel better (even 20 mins of housework can lift the mood, I have read) and

THEN what I do is set a timer. It's one of those round, sixty minute ones, magnetically stuck to my fridge. I promise myself I will do x activity for x minutes, dial up the timer, and go to town. I do this for cleaning, work, freelance projects, writing, etc. It totally helps me, so hopefully it might help you, too.

Another thing I have been doing lately is timing myself (without the timer) for small activities. I'll wash dishes, checking the time before and after, and tell myself, "See? That only took 10 minutes." Helps me a lot. Did the same for paying my bills today. 5 bills, 10 minutes. It only SEEMS like a huge task. The empirical evidence is a huge boost.

One last tip is to divide your to do list into many small steps. For example, if my task were to paint a room, I would break this down into a. get paint samples, b. dig out drop cloth, c. borrow ladder, d. tape walls, etc etc. I'm too sleepy to think of a more fun example.

I relate to your pain though. I'm behind on plenty of things right now, some of them things that could have easily been fixed months ago. Bleh!

Good luck!

littlefish

If I look at it from a recovery point of view, I think fear and the tendency to overdo everything is at the bottom of a lot of my procrastination.

Fear: I have doubts about my skills and worry that I'll mess things up. This is a real vestige from my active drinking days when I was afraid of taking on any job...so I would put them off for as long as possible, delaying "the big screw up". And, I did mess things up when I was drinking. It is taking time for me to regain confidence in myself again.

Tendency to over do it: I can take a simple job and make it as complicated and elaborate as it possibly can be. Also very alcoholic thinking. Once I've planned a job, overly elaborate and involving way too much work, then I lose interest in starting it because it obviously is going to be so difficult.

I'm learning in sobriety to keep things simple. I used to skim through food magazines and only choose the most time consuming and complicated recipes. They of course would be the "better" recipes. I used to scorn the fast easy and recipes. Now, I am the complete opposite!

Robin66

Rev, I'm so glad you started this thread. Reading it, I couldn't believe how much it sounds exactly like me. It's awful. I thought with quitting drinking and smoking weed, that the procrastination problem would take care of itself. Not at all. It's exactly the same.
Interesting reading what everybody has to say. I'll check out the link you posted right now (not later!!). Stupid joke, I know. Robin

AtlasMcGee

Like Robin, I thought procrastination would go away along with quitting drinking & smoking (even though that's still a new experience, so we can give ourselves a little credit, right? ), but I guess our pending projects are just another one day at a time process.

I really like the idea of timing yourself, I'm going to start doing that. I find when I actually begin doing something (paying bills, etc.) it doesn't take all that long, but if I something goes wrong to not be able to finish the task right then, It'll take me a lot longer to come back to it. A lot of the time, like littlefish said, I overcomplicate things. I mean god forbid I have to clean out a drawer--it'll take about an hour because I start sifting through everything or I get side tracked...or or or

Definitely going to be keeping my eye on this thread. Thanks Rev

vegibean

"Change a thought, move a muscle", that's what I tell myself when I get stuck. I remember you posting a while back about something in this regard. You don't have to get everything done today, but if you start with one thing, it puts a dent in what you need to do. Then get another thing done. One thing at a time.

For me if I keep putting stuff off then I'm left in a worse situation than had I taken care of what I needed to get done in the first place. Kind of like my tires going bald. I don't want to take the time to go to the garage to get it done, but if I don't I could get in an accident or find myself stuck on the side of the road throwing a wrench in to whatever it is I need to get done that day.

My tires are changed, because I don't want to go through the latter.

I also have found that there are a lot of things that needed changing in my thinking, doing the "f*ck it's" and the "what if's????" and that really wasn't serving me.

Good luck Rev, this seems to be an obstacle for you, however it is only YOU that is standing in your way.

Rev

Thanks everyone, for your responses. I also found this link, which might be useful:

Procrastinators Anonymous | Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.

I like their catchphrase, "Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried." I can relate to this. Vegibean is right, too. It is only ME that is standing in MY way. That's the discouraging part, too, tho. Not being able to rely on myself leaves me feeling very out in the storm, so to speak.

I think this is something that can be worked on in just the same way any recovery process is worked on. One day at a time, one task at a time. I have a few things planned out today, and I will try to keep my mind on one thing at a time. The stress of being overwhelmed makes it easy for me to just not start.

Rev

Bamboozle

Procrastination for the important things, like finding a job, comes up when the situation is very undesirable.

I called a place I sent a resume to last week and I don't expect a call back. I'm not too sore about it...apparently the radio regularly blasts this place for being terrible to work at. (Thanks, mom. )

Now I don't know what to do. I've searched the internets this morning and am not thrilled with my 'choices'. Some of them I don't have the transportation, or the qualifications, or it would be something that would seriously compromise my mental stability: too much involvement with people or erratic shifts. I'm not sleeping well at all as it is...and working shifts all over the place doesn't help. My mood's been in the crapper for quite a while.

One thing I'm doing today to help that out is really simple...I'm going to pick up a new med at the pharmacy. I've noticed that mood makes a huge difference when it comes to motivation...and dealing with people.

Fool

Rev, I'm starting to think you and I were separated at birth, man.

I have the exact same problem with procrastination. Been that way all my life.

Right now, I'm focused 100% on just not drinking day-to-day. For me, I don't want to fight on too many fronts at this early stage.

Once I get some sober time/coping skills under my belt, procrastination is the next dragon I am sooo going to sucker-punch.

Oddman

Hey Rev,

Been reading a lot of your posts. I like this one a lot. I have been a horrible procrastinator, but when I finally get around to doing something (cleaning the garage) I feel so much better. Kinda like waking up without a hang over. Tonight I am cleaning out my bedside bookshelf. Doesn't sound like much, but I have been putting it off for over a month. Besides, I'm not going to be too drunk to do it. I also have put off going to a meeting. That is my biggest mistake. Hopefully I'll go tonight.................Day 1.....again.....

artsoul

Rev - AWESOME thread

Everyone said something I want to refer back to in the future. I like vegibeans phrase:

Rev

That's awesome! I've heard they have a similar saying in Mexico, "Manana is the busiest day of the week." I can relate.

Well, I got myself out in the back yard to work on the neglected landscaping. I'm basically starting over, because everything got so overgrown with weeds. I dug up a bunch of plants, and a few stumps (for some reason, I have this network of tree-weed roots running through my yard). Now, I'm going to the gym to sit in the jacuzzi (my arms are all rubbery from manual labor ).

I'm trying to get an idea of how to evaluate my days: "Was today a procrastination day, or an initiation day?" So I can count my days of recovery like I am with drinking. I don't want to be my own slavedriver, so I need to be reasonable about it. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

Thanks for all the great responses! It helps so much more to tackle a problem together, than alone.

Rev

spryte

I am a big procrastinator. Did I spell that right? No matter.

I have given myself a free ride for the last 5 mos on this front. I figure - stop drinking, stay stopped drinking, don't go crazy, have an income, get out there and meet some new people - is plenty to accomplish.

But now I'm starting a new job and I feel my life is going to get more hectic and I need to be more active in managing it. It could get out of control! I need to get somewhat ahead of things to keep the stress at bay.

Today I did a thing that I could've left until tommorrow. And that felt SO weird to start that task (but great to finish it, no surprise).

Interesting thread

Ann

I meant to reply to this thread earlier but...well, you know.

I too am a procrastinator and what helps me sometimes is just making a list of what needs to be done and then making myself do every single thing on the list.

I always feel better after I do it, but man, sometimes it's hard getting through it.

Good topic.

Rev

I keep lists too, in a personal planner, but I find that I just keep transcribing them from one day to the next (or, at least the parts of them I'm putting off).

One idea that someone posted in another thread was to "time cravings". He found that if he got a craving to drink, then just timed it until it passed, it was only about 5 min or so, and then he could move on. I think this would work with procrastination as well. When confronting a task that one has been putting off, just time the anxiety rather than react to it by putting off the task. If anything, it breaks a habitual pattern.

I find that procrastinating is kind of an automatic decision process. It's not like drinking, where you decide to drink, THEN you follow through on the decision with action. With procrastination, the action and decision are all part of the same momentary impulse. It becomes important, then, to disrupt the habitual pattern with a new action. Just stopping, and facing off with the anxiety for a few moments, allows a new decision to be made.

Rev

Robin66

Just to let everybody know, the link Rev put up to the WikiBook is really good. And I like the Procrastinators Anonymous too. I haven't spent a lot of time on the site, but it looks like it could be very helpful.
It's interesting that we procrastinate even with the knowledge that it will hurt us in the long run. It always makes everything worse..... and we know that. I agree with the WikiBook that it isn't really laziness as much as it's avoiding stress and other unpleasantries.
Like Rev, I have always made a list of what to do the next day and I usually have to just move those things to the next day's list. I do some stuff, but never as much as I should. And I do whatever is most pleasant or least stressful and put everything else off.
I'm glad Rev started this thread, it's really opened my eyes to how bad my procrastination is and that perhaps I can change it.