BurningChrome

Any words of wisdom?? A years long heavy drinker, highly educated, write software for a living. Wife is handicapped due to a doctors error (i.e. major emotional pain), I was laid off about 3 weeks ago, "thought" I was strong enoungh to walk the straight and narrow, now realize I was an idiot for thinking that.... Drinking vodka daily to cope, do NOT want to!!!! I will welcome _ANY_ words of wisdom or advice at this time! ANY and ALL input is welcome and greatly appreciated!!!!

Thank you in andvance for your time and words.....

...Mike

least

My only advice is to put it down NOW. Don't wait til it's gone, dump it now. Have you ever considered counseling for yourself? I see an addictions counselor once a week and she helps me in all aspects of my life, not just my alcoholism. Might be worth a shot at relieving some of the 'pressure' you're under lately.

flutter

Go to a meeting, meet with a counselor, go see your doctor to assess any potential damage done and to help ease your detox, pour the liquor out, read recovery stories here.. choose sobriety and act on that choice. Do you want to get sober more than you want another drink? Action is key, desire never got anyone sober.

artsoul

Hi Burning - You made a great first step in reaching out. And you came to a great place!

I can so relate to "drinking but not wanting to." I didn't even need a stressor to do it for years and years myself. Always thought I'd quit in a couple days, ya know? I thought it would be easier to put if off, or "allow" myself one last enjoyable (hardly) evening, but it only got harder and harder to live that way. Truly miserable, infact.

If you stick around, I'm sure you'll find a ton of love and support. We're all so much alike and many of us are going through those first days of sobriety together. It's way too hard to do it alone. What about medical help? Withdrawals can be risky, as well.


(p.s. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but if you're not working right now, can you turn it into a positive and take a few days to concentrate on nothing but getting sober?)

aasharon90

People in recovery come from
all walks of life with a common
problem. Wondering how to....
and have found out how to stop
drinking or using just by following
in the steps of many that have
achieve this task a day at a time.

Just because we have or had a
drinking or using problem doesnt
mean we r horrible bad people
cause we r not.

Once we learn and fill our minds
up with the knowledge of our
addictions and have the right
tools at hand then anyone can
become sucessfull in staying clean
or sober.

Dee74

Hey Burning

I'm sorry for your troubles.

I spent a lot of years coping with things by drinking.

I realise now I wasn't coping at all - I was running away.

I look back and I see for me drinking was a way to feel good - and it started that way harmlessly enough.

But it grew - until the feeling good was the objective and I stopped trying to find ways out of my problems.

And then it grew some more - and drinking overshadowed all the other problems I'd started drinking for.

And then? It stopped making me feel good.

There's been some great suggestions here about what you could do.
I really hope you follow them up.

Stop now Mike.

D

AtlasMcGee

Great advice on seeking help.

It seems you have a lot of stressors in your life at the moment & you've turned to drinking in order to take the edge off and lighten the load, so to speak. That only delays the inevitable though and does nothing to fix the problem(s) at hand--which I'm sure you're well aware of. I'm not sure how deep you are in your addiction (i.e. if you need to check yourself in somewhere due to extensive withdraws or what not), but as soon as possible I would try to prioritize in order to slowly but surely get things back on track (i.e. take this time to become closer with your partner, job search, start enjoying old hobbies and/or new ones), allow time to reflect.

I hope you find the support you need to get you through this rough time.

Best wishes to you & yours.

Anna

Yeah, I can understand the drinking to help cope with life, I did that too. But, as everyone will tell you, it makes things worse, unquestionably worse.

Stop drinking, get rid of the alcohol, and do whatever it takes to not drink. How about using your time to search for a new job and try to find a way that you can get through this without drinking?

Rowan

Hi Mike,

As you've experienced, alcoholism does not discriminate. It doesn't matter what our gender, age, race, religion, intelligence, etc is - it can affect any one of us. I got to the point where I was drinking steadily several nights a week and I didn't think there was much point in going on living.

Fast forward several years, and I'm sober. I'm happy. I still have problems, but to a much lesser degree. My life was completely unmanageable before I sought help, and I'm so glad that I don't need to live that way today.

No matter your situation, you too can recover. Make a choice, and then take action. You can do this.

susanlauren

Mike,
Withdrawal from alcohol can be very dangerous. I would encourage you to see your doctor and detox under medical supervision. I realize you may not like doctors after your wife's situation, but this is important. I wouldn't want you to suffer a seizure or severe DTs as a result. You don't need a life threatening situation on top of your other problems. You might look into treatment programs -- even outpatient treatment if that is an option. I would also suggest going to AA meetings. I have found AA invaluable in getting sober and in maintaining sobriety. I didn't just go to meetings; I got a sponsor, started working the steps, got a home group, read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, etc. I suggest getting active in AA and not just going as an observer. You don't have to tackle this problem alone. There is a ton of support here (on line at SR) and face to face in AA. You can find a meeting by searching AA on line or by looking in the phone book and calling your local Central Office.
SusanLauren

coffeenut

Keep coming back.

Mark75

The problem and the solution may be in there somewhere. Do you think that you were not "strong enough" and that you need to be stronger?

or

Do you believe that you may not, in fact, have that power, your own self?

Mark

HumbleBee

Hey Mike, Life does suck sometimes. I'm sorry to hear of your troubles.

You know that drinking is only a temporary escape. It hasn't given you another job or made your wife feel better - both you and she likely feel physically, if not also emotionally, much worse.

It has to start with putting the drink down.

Only then can you begin to get it together and realize that a lay-off means you are able to collect unemployment, right? That's something to be grateful for.

Jobs will come, jobs will go - if this economy has taught us anything, it's that the days of joining a company and staying with them until retirement are essentially gone. So what?

You have a great profession - even if you didn't, there are millions of people who are using this economic situation to re-invent themselves.

The economy might be uncertain, but there's one thing that you can count on...alcohol wants you dead, but it first wants you alone.

You can choose to get yourself some help and get back on your feet or you can continue to drink and let alcohol make your choices for you (rest assured that the latter will be limited, if not, fatal choices).

A one-on-one counselor trained in alcoholism and in recovery himself saved my life. I highly recommend that route. It's only a phone call away, Mike.

Please don't throw away your right to make your own choices.

BurningChrome

Sigh... I was doing fine for a few weeks, looking back, I am honestly not still not sure what set me off to buy that single bottle that started the revolving door again. Firstly, I want to from my heart, thank Everyone who took precise time out of their lives, read my post, thought enough about it to have some very kind, intelligent, and helpful words on it. I very much appreciated all of the people here who have walked this walk before. Talking my wife to her doctor this morning, later today/tomorrow, will look into near by meetings to start going. I know myself this much, to much free time is NOT a good thing for me! A few of you said "don't take offense, but..." To all of you, when a man is beaten badly and in a hole and you offer him mere rope instead of a fancy ladder, trust me, he will not take offense :-) Have to go but I will post back here often in the upcoming days. Thank you all again, so much!

vegibean

Well BurningChrome, you've found a great place here. I encourage you to look into getting yourself some help as well. Better now than later. Addiction in any form if left for long can be disastrous. I hear ya on the life situations, alcohol was a great crutch for me and I slowly and gradually got sucked into the depths of major alcoholism and depression because of it. I believe you're strong, I knew I was and it was the strength I knew that I once had (after being totally brought down by my alcoholism) that helped me get out of that deep hole I was in.

Good luck, tons of support here and welcome to SR!!

Freeport

Some random thoughts I've picked up from hanging around SR the past year:
You will never get relief from your pain through drinking.
Living sober can suck, but living drunk sucks more.
Only you can drive you to drink.
There are no problems that drinking cannot make worse.
The number one message you'll get around here is that drinking problems get worse.
On your worst sober days, at least you’re sober.

I've dumped a lot of booze down the drain over the years, Chrome. Don't worry about whether you'll be drinking five years from now or for the rest of your life. Focus on not drinking today, then do the same thing tomorrow. Repeat. Good luck and keep posting.

Aysha

Thats not whining. Thats some real serious life issues. I am sorry for your troubles as well.
Too much time on my hands and all that weighing on me is disaster.
I cant add much more to what has already been said.
Take action..NOW.
Dont get stuck in that self pity and depression.
When it is time to snap out of it, You will have made everything 1000 times worse.

Horselover

I haven't read any of the responses here and so forgive me if I repeat. I don't have much time, but your thread spoke to me.

I would say you are "handling" the situations of job layoff, wife's trauma, and such the way you have always dealt. Right? I mean you are drinking. That's how I used to handle things too.

I guess you need to ask yourself if this is making things better? After you drink do you feel better about life or more depressed then ever? Do the problems disappear or are the magnified?

I had to do this in order to find my way to sobriety. Drinking wasn't solving a thing and it was destroying my health and all the things I worried about got worse. I stopped drinking and found SR and have been able to live soberly. I have started searching for a spiritual answer and have fun while taking that journey.

I would suggest you either find a program like AA where you can talk with people or stick with SR and do some soul searching yourself. I think you've tried SR and it didn't work for you entirely and don't be ashamed about that. There's a huge number of people that supplement their recovery programs with SR. I guess, in other words, step up the recovery muscle. Just my opinion.

BurningChrome

Oh man, I re-read all of the postings given to me here, all of them, first thru last, and there is just _SO_ much hard earned, life wisdom given to me for free by people who do not know me and still care enough to take the time to write. I am so grateful to everyone here! I will be out of the loop here for a week or so as the nasty fall my wife had, turns out, it fractured her right hip (got home from the hospital at 11:00p.m. last night). She needs surgery but being on coumadin (blood thinners), she's a high risk patient, so I will be at the hospital most every day for the next week or so. Actually, in a mixed up way, this is a good thing, keeps me busy, out of the house, and reminds me of how blessed I am to have my wife in my life!!
Thank you again every one here, brings a level of peace to me to read your words and hear your battles.

I'll be back when I can in a week or so, thank you all again,

..Mike

artsoul

Prayers for you and your wife. Hang in there and let us know how things are going.:ghug3