rumours
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: england
Posts: 162
rumours
Right my exabf is spreading lies about me. At the moment he is on a tag for breaking my windows,we have been split up now for 8weeks, he is telling people i am on tag and that i have been banging his door every sat night. People that know me know this isnt true but what do i do about the rest? I know the best thing to do is completely ignore but it is frustrating.
I had his brother knocking the door at 6 in the morning because their windows have been smashed and they thought it was me,his brother is a nice lad and im sure he believed me and now i know he knows that my ex is lying about the tag because he would have seen it.
I also have an indefinite restraining order against him.
Sorry if this is not explained very well but as you can imagine i am angry,what would you do in my situation?
I had his brother knocking the door at 6 in the morning because their windows have been smashed and they thought it was me,his brother is a nice lad and im sure he believed me and now i know he knows that my ex is lying about the tag because he would have seen it.
I also have an indefinite restraining order against him.
Sorry if this is not explained very well but as you can imagine i am angry,what would you do in my situation?
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
First thing I would do is say the Serenity Prayer:
God,
Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change (people, places)
The Courage to change the things I can ( me, myself & I)
and
The Wisdom to know the difference.
Then I would have a talk with myself. Remind myself that anyone that believes what an active alcoholic is saying is not someone I am worried about impressing anyway.
One of our SR moderators, CatsPajamas, had this statement as her signature line:
"What other people think of me is none of my business."
I like that!
God,
Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change (people, places)
The Courage to change the things I can ( me, myself & I)
and
The Wisdom to know the difference.
Then I would have a talk with myself. Remind myself that anyone that believes what an active alcoholic is saying is not someone I am worried about impressing anyway.
One of our SR moderators, CatsPajamas, had this statement as her signature line:
"What other people think of me is none of my business."
I like that!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: england
Posts: 162
Yes he has to be in from 7 at night till 7 in the morning.
Ive decided its best to ignore what he is saying as it isnt true and if people want to believe him then thats their buisness. thanks guys xx
Ive decided its best to ignore what he is saying as it isnt true and if people want to believe him then thats their buisness. thanks guys xx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
My XA said awful awful things about his ex to me, used the word "evil" to describe her once.
Then he said he couldn't live without her.
Now i'm "evil".
LOL
Be strong, and like everyone says, it has nothing to do with you. It seems that many of them do it. I remember that, along with the serenity prayer, and realize what they say doesn't matter. They live on their own little planet....and i'm here on Earth
Then he said he couldn't live without her.
Now i'm "evil".
LOL
Be strong, and like everyone says, it has nothing to do with you. It seems that many of them do it. I remember that, along with the serenity prayer, and realize what they say doesn't matter. They live on their own little planet....and i'm here on Earth
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
He can quack to folks about you being tagged, but that is his problem. If those same people see you out after hours, and call cops then you have a comeback on your "tag" xbf, but til something like that happens....leave it.
You seem to have convinced his brother that you are not the vandal and it is xabf who is the liar, so that is fixed up.
I would let that dog just lie, knowing that at some stage he will be caught out bigtime, as all liars eventually are.
God bless
You seem to have convinced his brother that you are not the vandal and it is xabf who is the liar, so that is fixed up.
I would let that dog just lie, knowing that at some stage he will be caught out bigtime, as all liars eventually are.
God bless
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
My ex said I was a coward. Then some other day and also without any logical input, he said I was brave 
WHO CARES? Is a good motto. Whoever who believes him is in for a ride. Also this is a good way for him to remove other toxic people from your life.
Once I thought many people were "friends of mine" but now I see them for who they are. NONE of them showed an ounce of support or understanding to me. But they were -and still are- sharing the whiskey with him. And its ok, its their life, and I feel proud not to welcome any one of those anymore in my personal life.
Hang in there, its like a million things hurt at the same time. Breaking up, the lies, manipulation, denial, our own forgotten work to do, etc etc but it gets better !!!!!!!! it really does. Ppl who talk badly about you will continue to do so because that's who they are, if ex talks, or a cloud passes...
Some people don't realize rolling on dirt was made for pigs! Also I say this because I used to judge others harshly and felt superior. Including superior to XABF. Now I just try to get that we are all different... and you are what you engage with.. (tough pillow to swallow for me)...
WHO CARES? Is a good motto. Whoever who believes him is in for a ride. Also this is a good way for him to remove other toxic people from your life.
Once I thought many people were "friends of mine" but now I see them for who they are. NONE of them showed an ounce of support or understanding to me. But they were -and still are- sharing the whiskey with him. And its ok, its their life, and I feel proud not to welcome any one of those anymore in my personal life.
Hang in there, its like a million things hurt at the same time. Breaking up, the lies, manipulation, denial, our own forgotten work to do, etc etc but it gets better !!!!!!!! it really does. Ppl who talk badly about you will continue to do so because that's who they are, if ex talks, or a cloud passes...
Some people don't realize rolling on dirt was made for pigs! Also I say this because I used to judge others harshly and felt superior. Including superior to XABF. Now I just try to get that we are all different... and you are what you engage with.. (tough pillow to swallow for me)...
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