lulu1974

Last night I started to really think about what I wanted. I realized i have been sacrificing a lot for my marriage. I have stayed at a job I hate because of the money so we can have a better life. I have not spent money on myself while he did so we can buy a better house..
So I started applying to other jobs that were more to my liking. I got excited about this prospect. And a few people have called me already. One person sounds very interested and its in the same area I work in now and they are offering more money. I guess you never know but I am excited to do more things for myself without having to think of someone else's needs..

JenT1968

that sounds great Lulu, fingers crossed!

nodaybut2day

Yay Lulu!!! This is just the beginning...HP's got more in store for you

LaTeeDa

You're doing much more than thinking! I think the title of this thread should be "taking action." Way to go!

L

lulu1974

Wow..you are all so right. I forgot how good I am at my job and all my accomplishments. I have 3 appts for jobs on Tuesday. Everyone seems to be very excited to meet me and have complimented me on my success. Why didnt I ever realize this?
I guess at one point I used to know this about myself but I lost that feeling of confidence.
I dont even care if I get any of these jobs..just hearing how much my resume is appreciated is good enough for me.

GiveLove

It is amazing what we discover - what we notice - when we forcibly take our focus off someone else's needs and put it onto our own dreams. I'm listening to a book on disk this morning and he just - literally just now, before i read your post -- voiced these three questions:
Am I following my heart and being true to myself?
Is my life focused on being true to me?
Am I being the person I want to be in the world?

lulu1974

GiveLove
I couldnt agree more. Yesterday and today was such an eyeopener. I realized I adapted my stbxah's thinking. He would stay miserable whereever no matter what. I was never like that. If I was unhappy in my job I would try to change at work or move onto something else. And I have been stuck for so long. I havent been true to myself. At all. And I cant blame him for this. I allowed this to suck the life out of me. Not only the job but other things too. Today..I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. There are possibilities out there. And I can make good changes for myself. Even if I fail I can make other changes. I chose to stay where I am because it was good for us..good for when we had a baby etc. But that didnt happen so my years of misery did nothing for me. Like you mentioned. I wasnt being true to myself. I want to make a commitment to myself that I will always be true to myself going forward. Thanks for sharing this Givelove..

nodaybut2day

It seems like there are some people in the world who have a fundamental inability to be happy, as well as a talent for dragging other people down--forcibly at times, into their misery. That was my X. He constantly viewed the world with horror and disappointment, often seeing himself as a victim of circumstances and people. I got sooo concerned with trying to lift him out of his misery that before I knew it, I forgot to be happy myself. Thank goodness that part of my life is over!