Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 71
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I feel like I am ready to explode. Hubby has been ok for a few days, That is about all he can manage without having a masssive blow up. He had a minor blow up last night. Acted like and ass in front of the kids friends and the when his temper cooled couldn't understand why I was mad.
Got a call from my daughter a little while ago. 3 bags of my trash were found dumped along a county road. I usually take off the trash but hubby took it off Friday. So, I talked to the DNR guy and told him he needed to talk to my hubby. Still waiting for that to take place and the fallout( a fine of over $1000 possible). Then my son gets home and discovers my useless hubby stole money from son's wallet.
And my daughter just got a call from the baby's doctor. He is concerned enough about the baby's heart murmur to send him for further testing.
My daughter's birthday is this weekend and I have NO money to get her ANYTHING. Son's prom is next month. Ack. We owe income taxes of $1000 with no money in sight. GRRRRRRRR.
Ok, feeling better just to right it down.
Got a call from my daughter a little while ago. 3 bags of my trash were found dumped along a county road. I usually take off the trash but hubby took it off Friday. So, I talked to the DNR guy and told him he needed to talk to my hubby. Still waiting for that to take place and the fallout( a fine of over $1000 possible). Then my son gets home and discovers my useless hubby stole money from son's wallet.
And my daughter just got a call from the baby's doctor. He is concerned enough about the baby's heart murmur to send him for further testing.
My daughter's birthday is this weekend and I have NO money to get her ANYTHING. Son's prom is next month. Ack. We owe income taxes of $1000 with no money in sight. GRRRRRRRR.
Ok, feeling better just to right it down.
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Nice to vent isn't it! :-)
That's a lot going on. I hope it settles if nowhere else but in your head. The most important place of all! I'm at a loss for useful advice.
Okay maybe one: There's a free gift that's pretty awesome if you ask me you can make. Get a large jar, print or paint something pretty on it. Write "YOU" on it. Then, type up affirmations such as: "You are beautiful" "The room lights up when you're around" or more personal: "Remember when you _______ it made me so proud"
You can fold up each one, or if you have the time, roll them like scrolls and tie with different colored thin ribbons.
That's a lot going on. I hope it settles if nowhere else but in your head. The most important place of all! I'm at a loss for useful advice.
Okay maybe one: There's a free gift that's pretty awesome if you ask me you can make. Get a large jar, print or paint something pretty on it. Write "YOU" on it. Then, type up affirmations such as: "You are beautiful" "The room lights up when you're around" or more personal: "Remember when you _______ it made me so proud"
You can fold up each one, or if you have the time, roll them like scrolls and tie with different colored thin ribbons.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 566
kptsj,
No sage advice here, but I do want to say that I think you're amazing to be handling all of that. Makes me wonder what you could do if your AH wasn't taking all your stuff and giving you such headaches, financial and otherwise!! Not too long ago I read a book called The Glass Castle. Your story makes me think of some parts of that book. It's a memoir, well-written, and many ACOAs and codependents I know can relate on some level...
Anyway, hugs to you, your son and daughter, and that precious babe. Thinking of you all, & saying a prayer,
posie
PS: Ali, that idea is brilliant! Love it, love it, love it!!!
No sage advice here, but I do want to say that I think you're amazing to be handling all of that. Makes me wonder what you could do if your AH wasn't taking all your stuff and giving you such headaches, financial and otherwise!! Not too long ago I read a book called The Glass Castle. Your story makes me think of some parts of that book. It's a memoir, well-written, and many ACOAs and codependents I know can relate on some level...
Anyway, hugs to you, your son and daughter, and that precious babe. Thinking of you all, & saying a prayer,
posie
PS: Ali, that idea is brilliant! Love it, love it, love it!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Originally Posted by kptsj 
my useless hubby stole money from son's wallet.
Food for thought.
L
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 71
Right now I am just trying to dig my way out of the hole. Car is in husband's name and he is getting a small unemployment check. I only get paid once a month and ir doesn't even begin to cover the bills or food. That is the only reason he is still there. I have to have a ride to work. work 20 miles from home so I can't bum a ride. I am working to find a way out. I am so thankful for my kids and the grandbaby. They provide the joy in my life. I thank goodness for this forum. I recognzie his quacking and am able to detach from a lot of the crap. When AH isn't home all is good, the kids and I are happy. Says something doesn't it?
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Originally Posted by posiesperson
kptsj,
No sage advice here, but I do want to say that I think you're amazing to be handling all of that. Makes me wonder what you could do if your AH wasn't taking all your stuff and giving you such headaches, financial and otherwise!! Not too long ago I read a book called The Glass Castle. Your story makes me think of some parts of that book. It's a memoir, well-written, and many ACOAs and codependents I know can relate on some level...
Anyway, hugs to you, your son and daughter, and that precious babe. Thinking of you all, & saying a prayer,
posie
PS: Ali, that idea is brilliant! Love it, love it, love it!!!
No sage advice here, but I do want to say that I think you're amazing to be handling all of that. Makes me wonder what you could do if your AH wasn't taking all your stuff and giving you such headaches, financial and otherwise!! Not too long ago I read a book called The Glass Castle. Your story makes me think of some parts of that book. It's a memoir, well-written, and many ACOAs and codependents I know can relate on some level...
Anyway, hugs to you, your son and daughter, and that precious babe. Thinking of you all, & saying a prayer,
posie
PS: Ali, that idea is brilliant! Love it, love it, love it!!!
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Originally Posted by LaTeeDa
Funny, that term "useless" was one of the words I used to describe mine. After we separated, my sister confessed to me that she hated hearing me say that word to describe him. That no person is "useless," and if that's the way I felt about him, why on earth would I stay married to him?
Food for thought.
L
Food for thought.
L
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Ah,
I've battled that thought myself. It's tricky. In my case I was very sick when I chose my husband and my picker was, well, not working so good, it started looking under rocks and alleyways. - to be nice! I'm still sick, but I would no longer say "so sick".
<I hope I'm not hijacking the thread>!
I've battled that thought myself. It's tricky. In my case I was very sick when I chose my husband and my picker was, well, not working so good, it started looking under rocks and alleyways. - to be nice! I'm still sick, but I would no longer say "so sick".
<I hope I'm not hijacking the thread>!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 71
I agree, who wants to be married to a useless person. I don't. Just trying to find a way. I am moving on with my life. I am much better mentally than I was 6 months ago. He can't twist my words to make me feel it is all my fault. I don't have to justify why I feel a certain way. I am so much better since I found this forum. It helps every single day.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Originally Posted by kptsj
I feel like I am ready to explode. Hubby has been ok for a few days, That is about all he can manage without having a masssive blow up. He had a minor blow up last night. Acted like and ass in front of the kids friends and the when his temper cooled couldn't understand why I was mad.
Got a call from my daughter a little while ago. 3 bags of my trash were found dumped along a county road. I usually take off the trash but hubby took it off Friday. So, I talked to the DNR guy and told him he needed to talk to my hubby. Still waiting for that to take place and the fallout( a fine of over $1000 possible). Then my son gets home and discovers my useless hubby stole money from son's wallet.
And my daughter just got a call from the baby's doctor. He is concerned enough about the baby's heart murmur to send him for further testing.
My daughter's birthday is this weekend and I have NO money to get her ANYTHING. Son's prom is next month. Ack. We owe income taxes of $1000 with no money in sight. GRRRRRRRR.
Ok, feeling better just to right it down.
Got a call from my daughter a little while ago. 3 bags of my trash were found dumped along a county road. I usually take off the trash but hubby took it off Friday. So, I talked to the DNR guy and told him he needed to talk to my hubby. Still waiting for that to take place and the fallout( a fine of over $1000 possible). Then my son gets home and discovers my useless hubby stole money from son's wallet.
And my daughter just got a call from the baby's doctor. He is concerned enough about the baby's heart murmur to send him for further testing.
My daughter's birthday is this weekend and I have NO money to get her ANYTHING. Son's prom is next month. Ack. We owe income taxes of $1000 with no money in sight. GRRRRRRRR.
Ok, feeling better just to right it down.
First, I am praying for your grandaughter's good health.
Next, sorry for the useless husband, I had one too. Stole money from his children. $#^&%@!!!!
If useless can't pay the fine will he go to jail? hehehehe A slight respite for you? Assuming you can use his car of course.
I loved it when my useless hubby had to go to jail for awhile. things were nice.
Beth
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 71
AH had a fit last night because we refused to drive him to get alcohol. He ranted and raved. Spent 2 hours saying he would burn the house down before I got it, listed everything in it and said it would be his. He didn't even make sense. If I got a lawyer I could press terroristic threats charge against him for the numerous threats. Thanks to this forum I was able to see that it was all an attempt to control me.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
You can press charges now. That is a threat to yourself and your children's safety.
Please contact your local Domestic Violence Services. You and your children are at risk of his becoming violent.
I am so glad that you recognize his ranting as quacking. But talk of violent behavior (setting fire to personal property) can have fatal consequences. Please take those words seriously.
Active Alcoholics are capable of extreme behavior when they realize they are loosing control of their enabler. Some of our members here have been the victims of violence and/or attempted violence.
Please contact your local DV office. They can also assist you with finding leagal and maybe financial support.
Hope for the best as you make plans to leave your active alcoholic, but be prepared for the worst!
Please contact your local Domestic Violence Services. You and your children are at risk of his becoming violent.
I am so glad that you recognize his ranting as quacking. But talk of violent behavior (setting fire to personal property) can have fatal consequences. Please take those words seriously.
Active Alcoholics are capable of extreme behavior when they realize they are loosing control of their enabler. Some of our members here have been the victims of violence and/or attempted violence.
Please contact your local DV office. They can also assist you with finding leagal and maybe financial support.
Hope for the best as you make plans to leave your active alcoholic, but be prepared for the worst!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Please do not take his ranting as trivial rubbish, as making threats like this is dead serious, and I mean dead. Pelican is spot on, go for help with this and do it now.
What some A's have done when they are desperate to stop their meal tickets/enablers from getting away, has been horrific.....please don't be a statistic.
God bless
What some A's have done when they are desperate to stop their meal tickets/enablers from getting away, has been horrific.....please don't be a statistic.
God bless
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