Spouse of a substance abuser
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: west suburbs, IL
Posts: 3
Spouse of a substance abuser
I'm not sure what compelled me to join, just having so many strong and mixed emotions right now. Never knew I could be so moody in a day.
My husband told me earlier this week that for about 4.5 yrs or even longer, he has been taking 15-20 prescription opioid pain pills a day.
In the course of these years, we have separated, attended marriage counseling. I have cried and screamed because he all he does is lay around. And he never told me.
I bought into him telling me early on that it was because of his schedule...he has worked 3rds, or 12 hour days throughout the marriage.
How could I go so long and never know? He was covering up the money he spent getting the pills online. I feel stupid.
I don't ever feel like I can trust him again. He did check himself into rehab but he comes home today and I'm a wreck about it.
He is going to be on suboxone and trazadone and we have small children. This isn't his first bout with addiction. He has gambled away substantial amounts of money, used to drink but stopped before we ever married. I feel so betrayed.
He wants to look toward the future and all i keep thinking is that "yeah right so in a few years, you can tell me the new way that you betrayed me."
I just needed to express myself to people who might understand. I'm not claiming to understand addiction at all but I just don't get how waking up with a wife, kids, a house isn't enough.
i could keep going on and on because the emotions are tremendous but this is all for now.
My husband told me earlier this week that for about 4.5 yrs or even longer, he has been taking 15-20 prescription opioid pain pills a day.
In the course of these years, we have separated, attended marriage counseling. I have cried and screamed because he all he does is lay around. And he never told me.
I bought into him telling me early on that it was because of his schedule...he has worked 3rds, or 12 hour days throughout the marriage.
How could I go so long and never know? He was covering up the money he spent getting the pills online. I feel stupid.
I don't ever feel like I can trust him again. He did check himself into rehab but he comes home today and I'm a wreck about it.
He is going to be on suboxone and trazadone and we have small children. This isn't his first bout with addiction. He has gambled away substantial amounts of money, used to drink but stopped before we ever married. I feel so betrayed.
He wants to look toward the future and all i keep thinking is that "yeah right so in a few years, you can tell me the new way that you betrayed me."
I just needed to express myself to people who might understand. I'm not claiming to understand addiction at all but I just don't get how waking up with a wife, kids, a house isn't enough.
i could keep going on and on because the emotions are tremendous but this is all for now.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,785
Welcome to SR! 
I am sorry for the problems you're having right now. Please do check out our Friends and Families of Substance abusers forum. Lots of info and experience there.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I am sorry for the problems you're having right now. Please do check out our Friends and Families of Substance abusers forum. Lots of info and experience there.Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 171
Hi and welcome to SR. I'd suggest checking out the Friends and Family forum here. Lots of support there. If I am remembering correctly there is also a Friends and Family meeting here every Saturday evening (not sure on the exact time) if you are interested.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR!!
This forum is awesome, but I do hope you check out the one mentioned above....lots of people in similar situations.
I'm a recovering addict (RA) and I've also got loved ones who are addicts, so I've been on both sides of addiction. They're both tough, but the great people here have helped me out a lot.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
This forum is awesome, but I do hope you check out the one mentioned above....lots of people in similar situations.
I'm a recovering addict (RA) and I've also got loved ones who are addicts, so I've been on both sides of addiction. They're both tough, but the great people here have helped me out a lot.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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