adambomb

I have come to the conclusion that I need to go to aa to get sober and stay sober. I have pretty much tried every other way and nothing has worked. I have been to a dozen or so aa meetings over the years (usually after a bad binge when im feeling guilty) but never stuck with it at all. I have realized that I am absolutely powerless at this point. I have lost any willpower against alcohol and drugs. My life has become unmanageable.

I have some questions that I hope someone on here might be able to answer. Should I get a temporary sponsor right away? I would really like to have someone to call and I want to get started working the steps ASAP. If so, how should I ask for one?

Another question I have is should I go to a meeting everyday? I'm not an everyday drinker. I binge about three times a week. Should I just go on the days I usually drank?

Thanks for any help.

zbear23

Hi Adam, and welcome.

I try to stay away from "the shoulds," but I'll be happy to share with you what I did, and I've been recovered for a number of years....granted, what worked for me may not work for you.....but it''s likely worth a try, especially since all I did was follow the yellow brick road that was mapped out for me by the Steps and Fellowship of AA.

I went to a rehab....which, although useful, I regard as sort of an extra. the fact that I had to do that six times tells me that something was missing there....and I finally realized that what was missing was my own willingness to be fearless and thorough from the very start. HOW it works: Honest, Openminded, Willing.

I got a "feel good" sponsor immediately, didn't much use him, and took too long and was too superficial in doing the steps. Half measures availed me NOTHING and I relapsed over and over again. What finally really worked was my WILLINGNESS to not only get a REAL sponsor, but to get one who would quickly guide me through the steps. I also went to daily AA or NA meetings in the beginning....actually, for the first six months. I volunteered to help set up meetings, make coffee, etc. I asked people where they were going after the meeting and I tagged along....the "coffee after the meetings" is often the best part of the whole deal.

I had reworked the first three steps within a week of getting the sponsor, and had completed one through seven within a few months. Amends took a bit longer.

Meetings didn't keep me sober, but they did give me the opportunity to learn love, tolerance and service to others, and encouraged me to look to the steps if I wanted to change. The fellowship supported my recovery, but the Steps changed me....and I needed to change.

I've continued over the years to believe the advice in the Big Book, that my only defense against a drink is to maintain my spiritual fitness. I continue to do that with daily spiritual practices.

I learned that recovery was not about comfort, but character. I had to learn to do what i didn't feel like doing, what was uncomfortable for me to do, and .... most important.....what others SUGGESTED that I do. the second step told me I was crazy....why in the world would I continue to trust my own thinking, when there were so many helpful, recovered, loving people in the rooms of AA?

blessings
zbear

CarolD

I just shared this today about sponsors
on another thread It fits for you too.

I did go to daily meetings for well over a year.
I found one that met in the early morning
and I really liked to start my day with it.

I considered them classrooms for sober living.
the more often I went ...the quicker I learned.

Welcome to our recovery community.....
Please do keep posting with us...glad you are here.