Physical Symptoms of Living w/an Alkie
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 223
Physical Symptoms of Living w/an Alkie
I've been free of my alcoholic husband for six months now. He's lived elsewhere and we've been no contact.
I used to get headaches turning off the Turnpike heading home from work. I used to be reluctant to go home, I 'felt safe' at work. I used to hang around the house in the evenings and weekends, because I didn't want my kids left alone with him, incase you got a hair up his you-know and started haranging them--or their friends (he had inappropriate sexual conversations with my sons' 17 year old girlfriends once). I also had to guard my stuff from his thieving, vandalizing kid (he once threw his father's laptop into the pool when no one was looking).
I would get hives all the time, every time XAH was on my case about something or looking as though he was about to go off. My hair was falling out, even my eyelashes. Starting last summer I began to have panic attacks. I'll never forget XAH looking at me during one of them with a smug satisfied look on his face--he wanted me to be a mess and distressed. It made him feel good.
I seldom slept more than 4 hours a night, then would wake up and just ruminate anxiously until the alarm went off. If I slept longer than 4 hours, I would have nightmares, usually about stepson killing someone, creeping around the house with knives. I'm sure I was struggling with the beginnings of depression.
Well, all that's changed in six months. My hair is growing back in thicker and lusher and so are my eyelashes. I thought it was because of getting older, like losing your eyesight, but no it was stress.
I don't get hives any more. I sleep well, no bad dreams. I haven't had a headache or panic attack since he left.
And this morning I noticed that the fine lines around my eyes are almost gone.
I knew the stress of dealing with XAH, his kid and his dysfunctional family was hurting me...I just never realized how much.
How about the rest of you: have you noticed dealing with the A in your life affecting your health? Those who have left, have you noticed an improvement in health and mood?
I used to get headaches turning off the Turnpike heading home from work. I used to be reluctant to go home, I 'felt safe' at work. I used to hang around the house in the evenings and weekends, because I didn't want my kids left alone with him, incase you got a hair up his you-know and started haranging them--or their friends (he had inappropriate sexual conversations with my sons' 17 year old girlfriends once). I also had to guard my stuff from his thieving, vandalizing kid (he once threw his father's laptop into the pool when no one was looking).
I would get hives all the time, every time XAH was on my case about something or looking as though he was about to go off. My hair was falling out, even my eyelashes. Starting last summer I began to have panic attacks. I'll never forget XAH looking at me during one of them with a smug satisfied look on his face--he wanted me to be a mess and distressed. It made him feel good.
I seldom slept more than 4 hours a night, then would wake up and just ruminate anxiously until the alarm went off. If I slept longer than 4 hours, I would have nightmares, usually about stepson killing someone, creeping around the house with knives. I'm sure I was struggling with the beginnings of depression.
Well, all that's changed in six months. My hair is growing back in thicker and lusher and so are my eyelashes. I thought it was because of getting older, like losing your eyesight, but no it was stress.
I don't get hives any more. I sleep well, no bad dreams. I haven't had a headache or panic attack since he left.
And this morning I noticed that the fine lines around my eyes are almost gone.
I knew the stress of dealing with XAH, his kid and his dysfunctional family was hurting me...I just never realized how much.
How about the rest of you: have you noticed dealing with the A in your life affecting your health? Those who have left, have you noticed an improvement in health and mood?
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
I had chronic headaches. All the time. My blood pressure increased (it was already high anyway). I over ate. I would not leave the kids at home with him in the evening when they were awake but after they were in bed I'd go back to work or go get groceries. I slept very little. I still don't sleep well and the over eating went away but now I'm battling that again. I think I need to just go to bed instead of eat 
My headaches are much much much better. Blessedly. In the last year I had a lot of anxiety that has gone away.
My headaches are much much much better. Blessedly. In the last year I had a lot of anxiety that has gone away.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Good question!
It took a little while after XABF and I separated, but I finally did stop have panic attacks around the time his workday ended. At first, I didn't even know what they were, but I soon made the connection.
No more inner turmoil wondering if he'd be coming straight home angry because he had no money for beer. No more worrying if he was out driving while intoxicated endangering others.
I've stopped grinding my teeth at night. I used to wake up with splitting headaches that would last all day. Now, my greatest sleep disturbance is waking up with a damp pillow from drooling. No more waking up from a drunk stumbling into the house late. No more early wake up calls by a hung over and agitated drunk banging around the house trying to make it to work on time and failing.
I won't say much on it because I posted a thread about it, but my libido has actually returned, which was something I thought was long since lost due to stress, age, and low self esteem.
Alice
It took a little while after XABF and I separated, but I finally did stop have panic attacks around the time his workday ended. At first, I didn't even know what they were, but I soon made the connection.
No more inner turmoil wondering if he'd be coming straight home angry because he had no money for beer. No more worrying if he was out driving while intoxicated endangering others.
I've stopped grinding my teeth at night. I used to wake up with splitting headaches that would last all day. Now, my greatest sleep disturbance is waking up with a damp pillow from drooling. No more waking up from a drunk stumbling into the house late. No more early wake up calls by a hung over and agitated drunk banging around the house trying to make it to work on time and failing.
I won't say much on it because I posted a thread about it, but my libido has actually returned, which was something I thought was long since lost due to stress, age, and low self esteem.
Alice
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
I started to get migraines, was having symptoms that looked like an autoimmune disease (joint degeneration) and was diagnosed with pancreatitis.
Pancreatitis. Google it and see who gets it mostly.
I didn't drink.
Strange but true. The things we internalize...
And all gone now, long gone. I'm stronger and far better at 48 than I was at 28.
But you couldn't have convinced me when I was with XA that my physical disorders were caused by the stress of living with him. "Love" couldn't do that to me, could it?
Pancreatitis. Google it and see who gets it mostly.
I didn't drink.
Strange but true. The things we internalize...
And all gone now, long gone. I'm stronger and far better at 48 than I was at 28.
But you couldn't have convinced me when I was with XA that my physical disorders were caused by the stress of living with him. "Love" couldn't do that to me, could it?
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
I had severe pain in my back, turns out adrenal glands, couldnt handle anytype of stress until I was in savior mode. I grinded my teeth so bad that my front two started falling apart...just got them fixed today.
I still get stressed, he cant contact me but lot of drama from his mom, I get nautious when her number is on cell or they have kids visitation. I double check doors adn window locks at night and have panic attacks, but no more teeth grinding adn as Im treated for adrenal fatigue Im starting to physically feel more normal and ahve more energy
I still get stressed, he cant contact me but lot of drama from his mom, I get nautious when her number is on cell or they have kids visitation. I double check doors adn window locks at night and have panic attacks, but no more teeth grinding adn as Im treated for adrenal fatigue Im starting to physically feel more normal and ahve more energy
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: East Coast
Posts: 90
Oh crap Alice... exactly. I'm not 40 yet & have had that going on.
I won't say much on it because I posted a thread about it, but my libido has actually returned, which was something I thought was long since lost due to stress, age, and low self esteem.
Panic attacks at work while working one on one with a client. Hard to hide that.
This weird eye twitch thing that went on for months. One eye would twitch uncontrollably. I used to wonder what the hell was wrong with me until I broke down crying with a couple of my clients & they said it was caused by stress.
Still happens on occasion.
I won't say much on it because I posted a thread about it, but my libido has actually returned, which was something I thought was long since lost due to stress, age, and low self esteem.
Panic attacks at work while working one on one with a client. Hard to hide that.
This weird eye twitch thing that went on for months. One eye would twitch uncontrollably. I used to wonder what the hell was wrong with me until I broke down crying with a couple of my clients & they said it was caused by stress.
Still happens on occasion.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 218
"This weird eye twitch thing that went on for months. One eye would twitch uncontrollably."
I had this for months and I didn't even realize what it was!!! Haven't had it for months, and the penny just dropped - thank you SheCanRun! I also had a weird ringing in my ears that stopped right around the same time.
I had constant, gnawing lower back pain - I went into full spasm one time after he disappeared on a binge and it was painful to walk for about two weeks.
My skin was a mess by the end - full face breakouts like a teenager's pizza face. I've never had problems with my skin like that (aside from the odd hormonal pimple).
My appetite was almost nonexistent, I lost about 10lbs in the last part of the relationship.
My shower floor looked like it was carpeted with all the hair I was losing.
No matter how much sleep I got I was totally exhausted.
I was really clumsy and because I was low in iron I always had bruises.
I caught every virus that was going around - usually I'm pretty hardy but I was sick three times in three months right before the relationship ended.
Physically I was a wreck, pretty much.
A friend suggested I get some acupuncture for the back right after it ended and the acupuncturist said that my adrenal system was on overload and it seemed like I'd been living in fight or flight mode for some time (no kidding).
It has taken months but I'm back to my normal weight, take supplements, drink enough water, exercise, sleep like a baby and my skin is clear as a bell. I hope never to be as physically low as I was back then again - ever.
Great thread and a good reminder, thank you Bucyn.
I had this for months and I didn't even realize what it was!!! Haven't had it for months, and the penny just dropped - thank you SheCanRun! I also had a weird ringing in my ears that stopped right around the same time.
I had constant, gnawing lower back pain - I went into full spasm one time after he disappeared on a binge and it was painful to walk for about two weeks.
My skin was a mess by the end - full face breakouts like a teenager's pizza face. I've never had problems with my skin like that (aside from the odd hormonal pimple).
My appetite was almost nonexistent, I lost about 10lbs in the last part of the relationship.
My shower floor looked like it was carpeted with all the hair I was losing.
No matter how much sleep I got I was totally exhausted.
I was really clumsy and because I was low in iron I always had bruises.
I caught every virus that was going around - usually I'm pretty hardy but I was sick three times in three months right before the relationship ended.
Physically I was a wreck, pretty much.
A friend suggested I get some acupuncture for the back right after it ended and the acupuncturist said that my adrenal system was on overload and it seemed like I'd been living in fight or flight mode for some time (no kidding).
It has taken months but I'm back to my normal weight, take supplements, drink enough water, exercise, sleep like a baby and my skin is clear as a bell. I hope never to be as physically low as I was back then again - ever.
Great thread and a good reminder, thank you Bucyn.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 136
You know I never put it together until I read some of your posts on here. I was losing hair too, I would see it all on the shower floor. Hmmm...I don't see that anymore.
I do look better now, I take care of myself better. No more panic attacks. I had one so bad once that my heart rate was 165 and when to the ER. He of course was off fishing at that time but it was right after I found he started using meth again.
I have lost 10 lbs and just feel so much better and I actually laugh and smile now. Towards the end I could not even bring myself to smile about anything.
I do look better now, I take care of myself better. No more panic attacks. I had one so bad once that my heart rate was 165 and when to the ER. He of course was off fishing at that time but it was right after I found he started using meth again.
I have lost 10 lbs and just feel so much better and I actually laugh and smile now. Towards the end I could not even bring myself to smile about anything.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
This weird eye twitch thing that went on for months. One eye would twitch uncontrollably.
Count me in on this one, too!
I thought it was a dietary thing and when my lab results came back normal I started looking into folk remedies. I was so frustrated with not finding a root cause. There were several times I had to tape the corner of one eye back tightly to minimize it so I could work at my computer. Haven't had it in many months despite still having stressful days.
I wish there had been a folk rememdy for getting my XABF out of my life sooner. Would have been more productive to look for one of those.
Alice
Count me in on this one, too!
I thought it was a dietary thing and when my lab results came back normal I started looking into folk remedies. I was so frustrated with not finding a root cause. There were several times I had to tape the corner of one eye back tightly to minimize it so I could work at my computer. Haven't had it in many months despite still having stressful days.
I wish there had been a folk rememdy for getting my XABF out of my life sooner. Would have been more productive to look for one of those.
Alice
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 566
OMG, I've had the eye twitch and hair loss, too! Wow. Thanks for these posts, it really helps to put the whole picture together. I'll have to think about what other physical things have been going on for me that might be stress-related...
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
THis thread is kicking my butt in such a great way!
I have been yo yo-ing weight wise. There have been times I could not eat from the stress.
I feel like I have aged, and the circles under my eyes are deep. I sleep, but am always exhausted. I smoke to cope, and it sucks. I want to quit so much.
I have started thinking about joining the gym.. I keep telling myself,
"What would you do if some one came to you and said,
'You could be happy, fulfilled, financially secure with a great career and job that you love being creative...You just have to be able to meet the challenge, and right now...well, you just are not emotionally, physically, or spiritually ready to have the life you want...So I will give you 9 months to train. Get it together.'
Would you exercise and clear the crap out of your life then?"
And you know what? I would. And I will.
I really believe that I have to change. I want to. I do not want to feel this drained and crappy anymore.
I want to be strong, and the life that is waiting for me, is waiting for me to get myself in shape.
I have been yo yo-ing weight wise. There have been times I could not eat from the stress.
I feel like I have aged, and the circles under my eyes are deep. I sleep, but am always exhausted. I smoke to cope, and it sucks. I want to quit so much.
I have started thinking about joining the gym.. I keep telling myself,
"What would you do if some one came to you and said,
'You could be happy, fulfilled, financially secure with a great career and job that you love being creative...You just have to be able to meet the challenge, and right now...well, you just are not emotionally, physically, or spiritually ready to have the life you want...So I will give you 9 months to train. Get it together.'
Would you exercise and clear the crap out of your life then?"
And you know what? I would. And I will.
I really believe that I have to change. I want to. I do not want to feel this drained and crappy anymore.
I want to be strong, and the life that is waiting for me, is waiting for me to get myself in shape.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
This thread has brought back some memories.
The eye twitch, it disappeared when I went to rehab. (without ex husband).
I had already been alcohol free for nearly four months.
Figured it was just a part of withdrawing. LOL
Nope, it came right back (with a vengeance) when he came out of rehab and started using again.
Wow, I had to actually hold it sometimes at work!
The eye twitch, it disappeared when I went to rehab. (without ex husband).
I had already been alcohol free for nearly four months.
Figured it was just a part of withdrawing. LOL
Nope, it came right back (with a vengeance) when he came out of rehab and started using again.
Wow, I had to actually hold it sometimes at work!
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
I've had the eye twitch and hair loss, sudden back spasms, unable to sleep as brain racing and uticaria in the weirdest places. This was so itchy I used a pot scrubber till I bled.
After I ceased contact, the itching went as did the eye twitch. Now my hair has stopped "moulting" and is thicker, (silver instead of chestnut) and I don't take valium for the spasms anymore.
Still have trouble sleeping, but can cope with that.
Not going back to almost skinning myself again, that is for sure.
God bless
After I ceased contact, the itching went as did the eye twitch. Now my hair has stopped "moulting" and is thicker, (silver instead of chestnut) and I don't take valium for the spasms anymore.
Still have trouble sleeping, but can cope with that.
Not going back to almost skinning myself again, that is for sure.
God bless
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 3
Hi,
I have had numerous problems all related to stress, (MY DRUG ADDICTED SON) being the cause of all this, I recently remarried and asked him to move out, now that I am not part of his daily life I am slowly but surely starting to feel better, my new husband is a wonderful support to me and he has been there for me, helping me deal with all my sons antic's.. but no more, he now lives on his own and as long as I do not know what he is getting up to I am alot less stressed. Hope all goes well with the court case, will keep you in my prayers..
I have had numerous problems all related to stress, (MY DRUG ADDICTED SON) being the cause of all this, I recently remarried and asked him to move out, now that I am not part of his daily life I am slowly but surely starting to feel better, my new husband is a wonderful support to me and he has been there for me, helping me deal with all my sons antic's.. but no more, he now lives on his own and as long as I do not know what he is getting up to I am alot less stressed. Hope all goes well with the court case, will keep you in my prayers..
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
yeap the eye twitch and then an eyebrow twitching? lol. weird...and the naseau is finally gone. No more pepto bismol for me. And I took have noticed less hair in the drain. I cant believe so many of you have this too!
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 478
Oh yes.. the mild panic attacks, migraines, sleepless nights, restless leg syndrome, along with the anxiety, neasua and middle back aches. I also clench my teeth and find that I hold my breath, frequently.. I over eat and am over weight, but all of my labs look excellent!! Weird..
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