transformyself

AH was yelling at the kids last night. Our youngest has learning issues and I just worked with him all week building his confidence about homework. Then AH yells at him till the poor guy cried, yelled for him to stop procrastinating and go do his homework. I threw him out.


He was suppose to come over at 7am to take over with the kids. I needed to:
shower
pack for class
leave for yoga at 7:30
leave yoga fully prepared for a meeting an hour away

You guessed it. He called, just woke up, at 7:20.

Yes, its' his day off
Yes, bla bla bla

I really really wanted to go to yoga and can't now until tomorrow. But he wanted to come over anyway. Is there cofeee? he asked. Yes, I said (Texts) but don't come. Why? he wanted to know. Because it'll be easier I said.

It's true.

Then I went into their room, happy to be alone with them, and turned on the radio. Chicago was singing

I know you believe in me. And you know I believe in youuuuu.

O-oh yeah...

I'm so happy. It's just me and those little guys again.

I can do anything I set my mind to. With the possible acception of rerouting the dryer hose...

Elsie

Nope, you can do that too! I've absolutely amazed myself with the amount of things I've been able to accomplish on my own as a result of ABF being an absolute jerk!

suki44883

Maybe next time, you can do your meeting prep work, shower and pack for class the night before. That way, you won't need him to come over to watch the kids at all in the morning.

Startingover2

I have to laugh as sometimes I think we are married to the same guy! My exah always texts and asks "coffee?" I say yes and he proceeds to come over and help himself to coffee and breakfast.

I like your response of "yes, but dont come". He knows I have coffee, but I really dont want him here!

stella27

I am now getting a big thrill out of paying people to do the small jobs that stbxAH couldn't be bothered to do. Now if I need something done, I just call a handyman. I don't have to ASK, and WAIT, and ASK, and WAIT, and NAG. And feed into his passive-aggressive games.

Best money I ever spent!

gerryP

When he asked if he could come over for coffee, just wondering why you didn't tell him that you didn't need him to watch the kids as he was too late, instead of "it'll be easier?"

ElegantlyWasted

Power of positive thinking... The best High you can have and it's contageous in a good way. You sound like every thing is gonna be ok and it will.

transformyself

Hi Guys

First I just had a full day of meetings and am PUMPED. I do feel like I can do anything. Have a new job that I LOVE with people that are wonderful. Yay!

Ok, so I'' try to answer your questions.

Suki- I needed him to take over, get the kids up and get them to school so I could leave instead of doing it. Needed childcare to get to an 8am yoga class.

Gerry- I did tell him that in an earlier text. I was very clear with him. I wasn't even resentful, really, just adjusted my day and won't pretend he's reliable anymore.

Anvil-Hell yeah, that's why I threw him out. I will continue to define my independance from him, but he's still their dad and will be "watching" them aka spending time with his kids. My job: create clear boundaries and enforce them. Be the healthy, strong, humble parent.

And elegantly wasted. Thank you. Yes, I"m making a conscious effort to find gratitude in every situation that is less than perfect. When I'm angry, sad, frustrated or tired. Ain't nothing like the power of positive thinking!

Good night WKRP listeners. Now it's time for more music and Less Nessman!!!