Study in early sobriety
20/12/09
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 199
Study in early sobriety
Hey All
I would like to ask your opinions on doing study in early sobriety.
The course I have been planning on doing for months starts on 8th Feb 2010 so have some time away before making decisions and attending but its popped up and want to know from more experienced people their opinions on doing it and their experiences.
It would be 3 nights a week, 3 hours each night. It goes along with working a fulltime job as well.
I will be about 7 weeks sober by then.
Am I pushing the limits?
Thanks
I would like to ask your opinions on doing study in early sobriety.
The course I have been planning on doing for months starts on 8th Feb 2010 so have some time away before making decisions and attending but its popped up and want to know from more experienced people their opinions on doing it and their experiences.
It would be 3 nights a week, 3 hours each night. It goes along with working a fulltime job as well.
I will be about 7 weeks sober by then.
Am I pushing the limits?
Thanks
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
Hi, lionheart. I was ready to leap back into study soon after I got sober, but I also had some physical issues to deal with. I was wheelchair-bound and really wanted to learn to walk again, so I spent my first year sober doing that. Then I gave myself another year vertical, entering school full-time when I was two months shy of two years sober. I don't know how old you are, but I was thirty-six at the time. I was quite rusty! It went okay. I took twelve credits my first semester, increasing to 19 credits at one point with about half my course load in honors sections. I didn't work full time, but I did work (about 20 hours a week tutoring & "mentoring") and I was raising four teenagers, too.
Was it too much? It was just a hair short of too much, even with some time under my belt, but I wouldn't change anything. Would I do it at seven weeks sober if my physical health hadn't been an issue? Maybe. At seven weeks sober, I was hitting a meeting every day, and I needed that. I can't recall if you're using AA as part of your recovery. If so, would this mean you'd have to sacrifice meetings? And if you postponed, when would the class come around again? What are the consequences if you begin and decide it's more than you're ready to take on? And, of course, what are your other obligations and responsibilities?
I don't know that there's some magic number of days, weeks or months sober that makes us ready for a new challenge, but more our careful consideration of our own limits. So, I posed some questions and I'm sure others will help by adding theirs.
Oh -- one more question: What do you think?
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Was it too much? It was just a hair short of too much, even with some time under my belt, but I wouldn't change anything. Would I do it at seven weeks sober if my physical health hadn't been an issue? Maybe. At seven weeks sober, I was hitting a meeting every day, and I needed that. I can't recall if you're using AA as part of your recovery. If so, would this mean you'd have to sacrifice meetings? And if you postponed, when would the class come around again? What are the consequences if you begin and decide it's more than you're ready to take on? And, of course, what are your other obligations and responsibilities?
I don't know that there's some magic number of days, weeks or months sober that makes us ready for a new challenge, but more our careful consideration of our own limits. So, I posed some questions and I'm sure others will help by adding theirs.
Oh -- one more question: What do you think?
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Overseas... on the shore of an uncharted desert isle.
Posts: 254
As Sugah indicated - the most important question is what you think.
When I first quit drinking in February and attended my first AA meeting, one of my fellow newbies had indicated to his sponsor that he was planning to enroll in a part-time MBA program that was in part subsidized by his employer. His sponsor citing previous experience and what I assume was 'standard advice' strongly recommended that he postpone such endeavors as he was absolutely certain that such studies would jeopardize his sobriety. The newbie declined to take the advice of his sponsor and in fact stopped coming to AA meetings altogether. However he and I kept in touch. In fact, he has maintained his sobriety and is very happy with his part-time academic achievements thus far. He indicated that instead of the workload becoming a burden as some had predicted, it served as an anchor and motivator for his sobriety.
When I first quit drinking in February and attended my first AA meeting, one of my fellow newbies had indicated to his sponsor that he was planning to enroll in a part-time MBA program that was in part subsidized by his employer. His sponsor citing previous experience and what I assume was 'standard advice' strongly recommended that he postpone such endeavors as he was absolutely certain that such studies would jeopardize his sobriety. The newbie declined to take the advice of his sponsor and in fact stopped coming to AA meetings altogether. However he and I kept in touch. In fact, he has maintained his sobriety and is very happy with his part-time academic achievements thus far. He indicated that instead of the workload becoming a burden as some had predicted, it served as an anchor and motivator for his sobriety.
20/12/09
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 199
Originally Posted by Sugah 
Hi, lionheart. I was ready to leap back into study soon after I got sober, but I also had some physical issues to deal with. I was wheelchair-bound and really wanted to learn to walk again, so I spent my first year sober doing that. Then I gave myself another year vertical, entering school full-time when I was two months shy of two years sober. I don't know how old you are, but I was thirty-six at the time. I was quite rusty! It went okay. I took twelve credits my first semester, increasing to 19 credits at one point with about half my course load in honors sections. I didn't work full time, but I did work (about 20 hours a week tutoring & "mentoring") and I was raising four teenagers, too.
Was it too much? It was just a hair short of too much, even with some time under my belt, but I wouldn't change anything. Would I do it at seven weeks sober if my physical health hadn't been an issue? Maybe. At seven weeks sober, I was hitting a meeting every day, and I needed that. I can't recall if you're using AA as part of your recovery. If so, would this mean you'd have to sacrifice meetings? And if you postponed, when would the class come around again? What are the consequences if you begin and decide it's more than you're ready to take on? And, of course, what are your other obligations and responsibilities?
I don't know that there's some magic number of days, weeks or months sober that makes us ready for a new challenge, but more our careful consideration of our own limits. So, I posed some questions and I'm sure others will help by adding theirs.
Oh -- one more question: What do you think?
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Was it too much? It was just a hair short of too much, even with some time under my belt, but I wouldn't change anything. Would I do it at seven weeks sober if my physical health hadn't been an issue? Maybe. At seven weeks sober, I was hitting a meeting every day, and I needed that. I can't recall if you're using AA as part of your recovery. If so, would this mean you'd have to sacrifice meetings? And if you postponed, when would the class come around again? What are the consequences if you begin and decide it's more than you're ready to take on? And, of course, what are your other obligations and responsibilities?
I don't know that there's some magic number of days, weeks or months sober that makes us ready for a new challenge, but more our careful consideration of our own limits. So, I posed some questions and I'm sure others will help by adding theirs.
Oh -- one more question: What do you think?
Peace & Love,
Sugah
I am 33 and will be 34 in the year of study. I am sure I will be rusty but one of my employers biggest things is that I am super organised and was hoping that would help me. Congrats on your achievements by the way - thats awesome!
I have started doing meetings, I am 10 days sober now and have been to 2 meetings, another tonight and another in the morning tomorrow. I dont have a set home group yet or a regular meeting. I am not sure if it would sacrifice meetings but being that I am pretty organised, I would work out time to make sure that I attend meetings on the nights I am off and on weekends if I needed to. I also attend church and while its no AA meeting, I walk out of there and feel good too.
If I dont go to this course this year, I would have to wait 12 months. I have started this course once before and other things got in the way and was determined to get into it this year but at the same time, I REALLY dont want to start and then pull out - I feel this time its all or nothing. If I do start and then pull out, I will either get a withdrawal without penalty or pass/fail depending on the time. Also, this course has a history of people pulling out and I dont want to jeopardise that for the following year if its a better timing.
I dont have alot of other obligations at the moment - seemed to have got rid of anything else that requires me to be there besides work - guess I can be grateful that i have that still. I have a partner and a dog at home but that is normal responsibilities and I have my partners support either way.
What do I think? I am still unsure, deep in my heart I want to do this course - I have done for years, well get back into it anyway and finish the dream I had a long time ago. If I put this off now, its only 12 months but its 12 months, you know... Ive wasted enough time in my life not going out and getting what I want to make me happy and this, I thought, would be something to help fix that BUT I want to make sure I stay sober doing it. I do think I am capable but am just still in a very uncertain place right now in my mind - physically, Im doing ok.
Lucky I have a few weeks to think more about it....
Thanks for your thoughts.
20/12/09
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 199
Originally Posted by north
As Sugah indicated - the most important question is what you think.
When I first quit drinking in February and attended my first AA meeting, one of my fellow newbies had indicated to his sponsor that he was planning to enroll in a part-time MBA program that was in part subsidized by his employer. His sponsor citing previous experience and what I assume was 'standard advice' strongly recommended that he postpone such endeavors as he was absolutely certain that such studies would jeopardize his sobriety. The newbie declined to take the advice of his sponsor and in fact stopped coming to AA meetings altogether. However he and I kept in touch. In fact, he has maintained his sobriety and is very happy with his part-time academic achievements thus far. He indicated that instead of the workload becoming a burden as some had predicted, it served as an anchor and motivator for his sobriety.
When I first quit drinking in February and attended my first AA meeting, one of my fellow newbies had indicated to his sponsor that he was planning to enroll in a part-time MBA program that was in part subsidized by his employer. His sponsor citing previous experience and what I assume was 'standard advice' strongly recommended that he postpone such endeavors as he was absolutely certain that such studies would jeopardize his sobriety. The newbie declined to take the advice of his sponsor and in fact stopped coming to AA meetings altogether. However he and I kept in touch. In fact, he has maintained his sobriety and is very happy with his part-time academic achievements thus far. He indicated that instead of the workload becoming a burden as some had predicted, it served as an anchor and motivator for his sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Ask your sponsor and listen would be my very good advice:-) Maybe it will be something you can do, maybe it will be wise to postpone it for a bit.
Remember what you thought were good ideas got you into this mess in the first place so trust someone who you deem to be a sane mature person for now:-)
As someone shared last night, his sponsor said if you have a good idea ring me but if you have a great idea you better come and see me straight away!
Remember what you thought were good ideas got you into this mess in the first place so trust someone who you deem to be a sane mature person for now:-)
As someone shared last night, his sponsor said if you have a good idea ring me but if you have a great idea you better come and see me straight away!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
I agree with Sugah - what do you think? 
I presume you've done study before - was it stressful for you?
Are you ok with long days and possibly being tired sometimes?
Are assignments/exams ok for you in terms of stress?
Will you be ok if everyone goes to the pub one night after class?
You see where I'm going with this - if you think you can face the worst of study and work and not give into temptation - go for it.
Don't freak out either You have a few more weeks to decide - and then probably a couple of weeks after it starts if you change your mind?
I wish you well LH
D
I presume you've done study before - was it stressful for you?
Are you ok with long days and possibly being tired sometimes?
Are assignments/exams ok for you in terms of stress?
Will you be ok if everyone goes to the pub one night after class?
You see where I'm going with this - if you think you can face the worst of study and work and not give into temptation - go for it.
Don't freak out either
You have a few more weeks to decide - and then probably a couple of weeks after it starts if you change your mind?I wish you well LH
D
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
lionheart some sage advice, let me put in my 2 cents worth if that is okay.
As already said it is up to you, I have been sober a bit over 3 years and my sobriety has been my top priority in my life since the first day I entered detox and then entered into the world of recovery in AA.
Here is what I would suggest, if you feel that you can keep your sobriety your number one priority then go for it!!!!
Now if you find out that the course is becoming, or may become a higher priority then your sobriety, I would suggest talking to your sponsor & some old timers & see if they can suggest a way of you continuing the course and keeping your program #1.
If you do go for the course you may want to check out some meeting on campus or near campus, this will give you a bit less travel time to get to meetings when you have a class as well.
As already said it is up to you, I have been sober a bit over 3 years and my sobriety has been my top priority in my life since the first day I entered detox and then entered into the world of recovery in AA.
Here is what I would suggest, if you feel that you can keep your sobriety your number one priority then go for it!!!!
Now if you find out that the course is becoming, or may become a higher priority then your sobriety, I would suggest talking to your sponsor & some old timers & see if they can suggest a way of you continuing the course and keeping your program #1.
If you do go for the course you may want to check out some meeting on campus or near campus, this will give you a bit less travel time to get to meetings when you have a class as well.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
When to make changes to obtain long term goals????
Lionheart & Sugah,
I was 48 when I quit drinking and had a long term goal of finishing my last two years of college for a BA Degree. I was in my group at Rehab when we were discussing our short term & long term goals....I was told there was no way I would be able to do college work due to "my brain damage from the alcoholic drinking" but I proved them wrong on that one.
As I was told in AA...a person should not make any major changes in their life until a year of sobriety was attained. I devoted my whole first year of sobriety to learn how to stay sober & attended AA daily that first year. The second year of sobriety I enrolled in College full time & worked half-time. I got my BA Degree in Psychology and got a job at the same mental health clinic where I got help for my alcoholism & depression. I also continued going to AA on the nights my classes were over early and on weekends and at noon for two meetings a week.
I was 50 years old when I started a new career as a Mental Health Tech. & was eventually promoted to a Geriatric Mental Health Counselor/Case Manager & worked there until I retired. I loved my job & gained a lot of self-worth & self-esteem. While in college I was on the Honor Roll every semester.
I felt, when I saw I was not picking up that first drink nor craving alcohol, that I could do most anything I set my mind to. Most important to me also was the Serenity Prayer that helped me through each day & still helps me after 21 years of sobriety.
kelsh
I was 48 when I quit drinking and had a long term goal of finishing my last two years of college for a BA Degree. I was in my group at Rehab when we were discussing our short term & long term goals....I was told there was no way I would be able to do college work due to "my brain damage from the alcoholic drinking" but I proved them wrong on that one.
As I was told in AA...a person should not make any major changes in their life until a year of sobriety was attained. I devoted my whole first year of sobriety to learn how to stay sober & attended AA daily that first year. The second year of sobriety I enrolled in College full time & worked half-time. I got my BA Degree in Psychology and got a job at the same mental health clinic where I got help for my alcoholism & depression. I also continued going to AA on the nights my classes were over early and on weekends and at noon for two meetings a week.
I was 50 years old when I started a new career as a Mental Health Tech. & was eventually promoted to a Geriatric Mental Health Counselor/Case Manager & worked there until I retired. I loved my job & gained a lot of self-worth & self-esteem. While in college I was on the Honor Roll every semester.
I felt, when I saw I was not picking up that first drink nor craving alcohol, that I could do most anything I set my mind to. Most important to me also was the Serenity Prayer that helped me through each day & still helps me after 21 years of sobriety.
kelsh
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I am with Kelsh on this one.
There was NO WAY at 7 weeks sober that I could have taken a class that required 3 nights a week for 3 hours plus the additional course work to keep current and STAY SOBER.
Like many others I HAD to devote my first years (other than work and home chores) to MY RECOVERY. I had to devote that first year to FINDING the tools and then LEARNING how to use those tools to STAY SOBER.
You say that the course will be repeated in 2011 Why not take the year, WORK ON YOU and YOUR RECOVERY, to garner the tools to keep you SOBER no matter what life THROWS AT YOU.
You asked:
I M H O: YES YOUR ARE.
Without recovery you will have nothing. Your recovery MUST COME FIRST!
Once you are 'grounded' in recovery, have worked the steps have a year sober you will probably be better equipped to handle 'new growth' with formal education to further your long term goals.
As others have said, you are the one who has to make the decision on what is BEST FOR YOU.
In the meantime, please keep posting to let us know how your doing as we do care so very much!
Love and hugs,
There was NO WAY at 7 weeks sober that I could have taken a class that required 3 nights a week for 3 hours plus the additional course work to keep current and STAY SOBER.
Like many others I HAD to devote my first years (other than work and home chores) to MY RECOVERY. I had to devote that first year to FINDING the tools and then LEARNING how to use those tools to STAY SOBER.
You say that the course will be repeated in 2011 Why not take the year, WORK ON YOU and YOUR RECOVERY, to garner the tools to keep you SOBER no matter what life THROWS AT YOU.
You asked:
Am I pushing the limits?
Without recovery you will have nothing. Your recovery MUST COME FIRST!
Once you are 'grounded' in recovery, have worked the steps have a year sober you will probably be better equipped to handle 'new growth' with formal education to further your long term goals.
As others have said, you are the one who has to make the decision on what is BEST FOR YOU.
In the meantime, please keep posting to let us know how your doing as we do care so very much!
Love and hugs,
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Lionheart, I can really relate to your post. When I first started my recovery, I jumped back into school and promptly cracked under pressure. As it turned out, deep down I simply didn't want to do it - or rather, I was doing it for the wrong reasons. Being an overachiever, I felt like a failure, and absolutely despised dropping out of school - but that's what I wound up doing.
I highlighted what I think matters the most - do you really want to do it? It sounds like you do. Now, do you have a "why"? Why do you want to fulfill this dream?
IMHO, if someone doesn't really want to do something, it won't matter if they have a day or a decade sober, they'll probably drag their feet.
On the flip side, having a solid "why" (reasons) will give your goals meaning, which in turn should give you the drive you need - and the "hows" should fall into place. How do you find my your "whys? Well, by being honest with yourself
Some people find that keeping busy during the first few months is helpful, while others need a time-out of sorts... I think both options are very valid, as long as making progress in recovery work is the absolute priority.
Good luck, keep us posted
Originally Posted by lionheart
(...)
What do I think? I am still unsure, deep in my heart I want to do this course - I have done for years, well get back into it anyway and finish the dream I had a long time ago. If I put this off now, its only 12 months but its 12 months, you know... Ive wasted enough time in my life not going out and getting what I want to make me happy and this, I thought, would be something to help fix that BUT I want to make sure I stay sober doing it. I do think I am capable but am just still in a very uncertain place right now in my mind - physically, Im doing ok.
What do I think? I am still unsure, deep in my heart I want to do this course - I have done for years, well get back into it anyway and finish the dream I had a long time ago. If I put this off now, its only 12 months but its 12 months, you know... Ive wasted enough time in my life not going out and getting what I want to make me happy and this, I thought, would be something to help fix that BUT I want to make sure I stay sober doing it. I do think I am capable but am just still in a very uncertain place right now in my mind - physically, Im doing ok.
IMHO, if someone doesn't really want to do something, it won't matter if they have a day or a decade sober, they'll probably drag their feet.
On the flip side, having a solid "why" (reasons) will give your goals meaning, which in turn should give you the drive you need - and the "hows" should fall into place. How do you find my your "whys? Well, by being honest with yourself
Some people find that keeping busy during the first few months is helpful, while others need a time-out of sorts... I think both options are very valid, as long as making progress in recovery work is the absolute priority.
Good luck, keep us posted
20/12/09
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 199
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and opinions. Its exactly what I need to hear and the best part about it, is that whne I do have to make the decision at the end of January, I can come back here to reflect these things.
matt - there are many reasons "why" I want to do it.
I have a hereditary condition that will see me losing the ability to work full time or use my body like I want to as time goes by. I have watched other members of the family have to cut down things they do and I want to prepare myself ahead of time to make sure I am looking after my financial security and not falling into the trap of "poor me". I have wasted years by not doing things right (we all know why) and I want to get this started properly. I will have another 5 years or so of further study to get to where I want to be. I want to be an interpreter for the hearing impaired and to do that, there is alot of study that needs to happen.
The other reason is that I have wanted to work in this field all my life and I have gone from job to job thinking I was searching for the right company and all these other reasons but I have just sabotaged my career time and time again and really want to make healthy choices and changes.
I work fairly fast on things when my mind is set on them and I know I am still VERY early in recovery but on my good days I am really set on making my life changes I know need to happen now.
I am 33, and while age doesnt matter ( kelsh pointed that out very well) I really dont and cant afford to wait a long time or my body will give way. On the other hand, if that is the path that is chosen for me, one year wont make a massive difference either.
Everyone is pointing out to speak to my sponsor - I dont have one yet. I havent been to many meetings, more due to the fact that I have had other commitments around Christmas and new year but plan on getting to more from here on so that hopefully will change soon too.
I do need to sit down and work out all the good and bad of this. I seem to have alot of time but not at the moment.
All good - once tonight is done (NYE) I am free to do all these things!
Thanks again everyone - it really does blow me away how detailed your responses are and how honest you all are - its a refreshing change. Thank you is not enough!
matt - there are many reasons "why" I want to do it.
I have a hereditary condition that will see me losing the ability to work full time or use my body like I want to as time goes by. I have watched other members of the family have to cut down things they do and I want to prepare myself ahead of time to make sure I am looking after my financial security and not falling into the trap of "poor me". I have wasted years by not doing things right (we all know why) and I want to get this started properly. I will have another 5 years or so of further study to get to where I want to be. I want to be an interpreter for the hearing impaired and to do that, there is alot of study that needs to happen.
The other reason is that I have wanted to work in this field all my life and I have gone from job to job thinking I was searching for the right company and all these other reasons but I have just sabotaged my career time and time again and really want to make healthy choices and changes.
I work fairly fast on things when my mind is set on them and I know I am still VERY early in recovery but on my good days I am really set on making my life changes I know need to happen now.
I am 33, and while age doesnt matter ( kelsh pointed that out very well) I really dont and cant afford to wait a long time or my body will give way. On the other hand, if that is the path that is chosen for me, one year wont make a massive difference either.
Everyone is pointing out to speak to my sponsor - I dont have one yet. I havent been to many meetings, more due to the fact that I have had other commitments around Christmas and new year but plan on getting to more from here on so that hopefully will change soon too.
I do need to sit down and work out all the good and bad of this. I seem to have alot of time but not at the moment.
All good - once tonight is done (NYE) I am free to do all these things!
Thanks again everyone - it really does blow me away how detailed your responses are and how honest you all are - its a refreshing change. Thank you is not enough!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 27
Hi Lionheart,
A while back a lady in an AA meeting told me she had been sober several YEARS and still didn't think she could go to school. Well, that seemed a bit drastic.
My answer? It's different for everyone. I first tried to get sober right after last Christmas, then relapsed about 5 months later... then had a couple bad episodes over the summer. At the end of July something just shifted in me and I knew this was it. I have been sober since August 1st and I started classes at the end of August.
For me (key words), school has been the 2nd best thing I've done for myself after counseling. Going to class, doing my work, and getting good feedback built up my badly damaged self esteem. Of course, I also took classes I found interesting (Psych, Sociology, Public Speaking, Eastern Religions), so that helped immensely. I doubt math or biology would have been good choices.
I feel like school can be a great motivator. It got me out of the house regularly and helped me feel good about myself. You are already working full time, though, so isolation may not be such a big issue. I also don't know what your drinking habits were or if you've tried to quit before. Those are also factors.
But if it's something you know you want to do in your heart of hearts and you feel it will be rewarding, it could be very positive.
(I finished this semester with a 4.0, not that you asked! It feels so awesome, though. I am now finishing a Bachelor's degree in Social Work).
Also, you still have some time to decide and get yer "sea legs" (or "sober legs"). Good luck!
A while back a lady in an AA meeting told me she had been sober several YEARS and still didn't think she could go to school. Well, that seemed a bit drastic.
My answer? It's different for everyone. I first tried to get sober right after last Christmas, then relapsed about 5 months later... then had a couple bad episodes over the summer. At the end of July something just shifted in me and I knew this was it. I have been sober since August 1st and I started classes at the end of August.
For me (key words), school has been the 2nd best thing I've done for myself after counseling. Going to class, doing my work, and getting good feedback built up my badly damaged self esteem. Of course, I also took classes I found interesting (Psych, Sociology, Public Speaking, Eastern Religions), so that helped immensely. I doubt math or biology would have been good choices.
I feel like school can be a great motivator. It got me out of the house regularly and helped me feel good about myself. You are already working full time, though, so isolation may not be such a big issue. I also don't know what your drinking habits were or if you've tried to quit before. Those are also factors.
But if it's something you know you want to do in your heart of hearts and you feel it will be rewarding, it could be very positive.
(I finished this semester with a 4.0, not that you asked! It feels so awesome, though. I am now finishing a Bachelor's degree in Social Work).
Also, you still have some time to decide and get yer "sea legs" (or "sober legs"). Good luck!
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