pride
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
pride
It is so nice to be able to have pride over something. That something to me is sobriety.
I am proud to be sober. I am proud to say I am 5 months sober. I was deeply ashamed to be a drunk, not so much in myself as I couldn't have cared less about myself at the time but for the people you inadvertantly meet when out and about who you can bearly remember chatting to. I was ashamed of the fact that I would have came across in the manner that I did to be quite honest. The "boys" didn't bother me as it's all part of the persona anyway but it is the decent, kind-hearted people that you bump into that used to hurt. It is not long before the paranoia of it all becomes far more insane than the actual drinking itself. The fact is that if you are an alcoholic then 95% of people knew anyway. That much is obvious. Basically you get remembered as just a P*ss-head. Not a good way to be talked about really, especially when you have so much more to you than that.
AA and "some" of the people in it have saved me and my sobriety. I am not ashamed to go to AA meetings and never have been... Quite the opposite... I believe that there is nothing to be ashmed of as if you truly have had enough of all of the guilt, shame, paranoia, hoplessness and depression alcoholism brings then anything beats going back to that.
It is necessary to change your life and your mind in order to maintain abstinance from drinking on a daily basis. With the help of AA and some of it's members and SR and some of it's members I am managing to achieve this. That is not to say that it's easy. I feel peacefull this weekend and I have just been into a pub with my friend who will be stopping there all night and it didn't bother me at all. I simply left after my pint of Coca-Cola and continued with my shopping. I do not live that life anymore and I am gratefull for that. I am not like most of the others in that pub because I am an alcoholic. They will never know the depths of despair that I would go to if i was to take one more drink. I would wuite literally be risking my life over something so seemingly trivial.
Gratefull to be sober today and looking forward many more sober days 'one day at a time'.
peace and Love xxx
I am proud to be sober. I am proud to say I am 5 months sober. I was deeply ashamed to be a drunk, not so much in myself as I couldn't have cared less about myself at the time but for the people you inadvertantly meet when out and about who you can bearly remember chatting to. I was ashamed of the fact that I would have came across in the manner that I did to be quite honest. The "boys" didn't bother me as it's all part of the persona anyway but it is the decent, kind-hearted people that you bump into that used to hurt. It is not long before the paranoia of it all becomes far more insane than the actual drinking itself. The fact is that if you are an alcoholic then 95% of people knew anyway. That much is obvious. Basically you get remembered as just a P*ss-head. Not a good way to be talked about really, especially when you have so much more to you than that.
AA and "some" of the people in it have saved me and my sobriety. I am not ashamed to go to AA meetings and never have been... Quite the opposite... I believe that there is nothing to be ashmed of as if you truly have had enough of all of the guilt, shame, paranoia, hoplessness and depression alcoholism brings then anything beats going back to that.
It is necessary to change your life and your mind in order to maintain abstinance from drinking on a daily basis. With the help of AA and some of it's members and SR and some of it's members I am managing to achieve this. That is not to say that it's easy. I feel peacefull this weekend and I have just been into a pub with my friend who will be stopping there all night and it didn't bother me at all. I simply left after my pint of Coca-Cola and continued with my shopping. I do not live that life anymore and I am gratefull for that. I am not like most of the others in that pub because I am an alcoholic. They will never know the depths of despair that I would go to if i was to take one more drink. I would wuite literally be risking my life over something so seemingly trivial.
Gratefull to be sober today and looking forward many more sober days 'one day at a time'.
peace and Love xxx
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,845
Thanks for sharing, Neo. Congrats on your sober time, sounds like you're in a healthy place now. I'm a little over 5 months and can't believe the changes, all for the better. I hope we can all continue this amazing journey called recovery
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