bones197828

I started again after I wd for about 7 days. I am stupid I know. Now I am in the same situation again, no meds and starting to wd. I did try to wean down again and I did do a pretty good job until I had my tooth pulled then I got a bunch of pills and I ate them like candy. Stupid stupid stupid. Then I started to take vicodin 7.5 about 5 a day for 3-4 days. Today was my last pills. So tomorrow the hell is going to start all over again for me. WHY!!!??? Do I do this?

I am just really hoping that the wd aren't to bad. Addiction sucks.

Today I am really whiped out. Just tired and weak and sick to my stomach a little of the runs but that is it. And that is with 5 vicodins just imagine what tomorrow is going to be like. Ugh!! But this is something that I can do. I can wd and I should be fine right? Jeez what am i doing with my life. Flushing it down the toilet i think.

I really hope that tomorrow isn't that bad. Thanks everyone for reading and any thoughts you would like to send my way are appreciated but i totally understand if you all (who supported me last time I did this) don't want to talk to me out of disappointment or disgust or what haver you.

Sh*t I can't belive i did this again. Really? I just wish this portion of my life would leave me alone.

kj3880

What are you willing to do about your addiction and how can we help you? Are you ready to take certain steps?

Love,
KJ

eureka

It will be okay. Don't beat yourself up too bad. "Starting again" is something most addicts are familiar with.

Flushing is a good idea. As kj said, what can we do to help you?

Tomorrow is a new day.

bones197828

I suppose I am really too scared to do anything about it at this time. I think.... I know what needs to be done. I have to come clean. No more holding in the lies. I have to let some people in MY circle know I have an issue.

So few words were said to me and I have to tell you it was pretty powerful to read. Thanks.

Aysha

I feel just like that. "WHY DID I DO THIS AGAIN!!"

I will neve rknow for me and probable never really understand why.

But I do know what I need to do this time. And thats get into a serious program and stick to it. AT ALL COST.
I think it would be very helpful if you had support from epople you trusted. It has been very crucial for me to have my familys support.
Dont focus too much on th whys now. Just focus on what your going to do about it.
Hang in there.

eureka

It can definitely be scary, but when I'm in a position like that I try to remember that I just need to do it.

I mean, it can't possibly hurt, right? It could only help.

windysan

good luck staying quit this time. it has to be sucky having 7 days then doing it all again. like a bad groundhog day.

Vintersemestre

Again, stop flushing pills down the toilet, it's irresponsible and not necessary, go bring them to a pharmacy.

Stagebear

Pharmacies (at least those in America) cannot legally accept returned medication.
While flushing may not be ecologically sound it's far superior to other alternatives.

Vintersemestre

Really? I seriously didn't know that. I just figured it was a standard thing everywhere, there's even like a chute for people to drop it down at the information counters here. Is that a federal law? Strange...

Stagebear

There really should be an acceptable alternative in the U.S., since accidental poisoning and overdoses frequently happen with leftover medication improperly stored.
Correction to my previous post: It is up to each state to determine whether drugs can be recycled or returned to pharmacies. However, almost all states that do have recycling programs (or allow returns) specifically exclude controlled substances, making it a moot point for this thread/forum.
As of now, there are few simple options for people wanting to responsibly rid themselves of used meds.

kj3880

There are actually some good options to legally dispose of medication responsibly:

1. Take them to a local hospital ER and place them in the red biohazard disposers.

2. If the pills are classed as CDS (Controlled Dangerous Substance), you can call 911 and the police will respond. You can tell them you found the medication or it was left over from someone that passed. They will submit them for disposal/burn.

Of course, if you have regular disposal needs, such as an ill relative, or use needles on a regular basis, you can contact your sanitation department or pharmacy for your own biohazard container. These are red plastic containers that the sanitation department is trained to handle differently. In some areas, they'll tell you to take them to the hospital for collection. In other places, they do pick-ups.

Love,
KJ

Vintersemestre

If you called 911 for that in Montreal I'm pretty sure the police would come but it wouldn't be to pick up your pills. That seems like a bit of a waste of public resources to me : / I'm continuously leaning things about other countries, it's fun to hear little differences like this.

meditation

Bones, to really stop honesty is the first step. You have to tell every doctor and dentist you go to that you are in recovery and have their help in this matter. They could then prescribe you a small amount of meds to get thru say a tooth problem but you would not have access to large amounts and this would help your recovery quite a bit. It's very hard to tell and know that your supply source is cut off but without that honesty it makes getting clean so much harder.

The question you have to ask yourself is are you ready to be done with this? If you aren't yet then you will repeat this cycle of using and then feeling bad about using and withdrawl when the supply runs out. It does not end without a conscious choice to end the abuse.
My thoughts are with you on this. Sometimes it takes the amount of pain it takes to be done.

As to flushing meds it is better to try to return them to a pharmacy if possible. I have also heard about disposing of meds in kitty litter to deter others from attempting to "recyle" them. Here is just one link about the problem and the flushing is not considered a good thing anymore.
Curing the problem of discarding pills

Vintersemestre

No one would see that as harsh but since I brought it up I'll clarify - It was eureka who suggest flushing. It may not seem like a big deal but people do it alot more often then I imagined.

meditation

Well flushing is not a bad topic because Bones said he or she was out of pills a month ago and would not be repeating this and here we are a month later same sh*yt different day. It's hard to not follow general conversation in a thread when it veers a bit.

Dee74

I agree with you Bones.

But, more than that, you have to do something as well.
Get yourself to a meeting, or a counsellor, or an IOP...something.

D

Pistoletta

Once you get the funk out of your system, think back to the worst point in your WD. That's enough in itself to keep me sober.


Good luck!