mamaplus2kids

My brother has been involved with an alcoholic, whose behavior has hurt him. Her behavior has been inappropriate and crazy. She is very attractive and likes to draw attention to herself by taking off her shirt in bars and by flirting with other men. Often, she won't go home, preferring to stay out all night.

My brother is addicted to her. He keeps breaking off with her and then getting back together. I've told him that if he is serious about breaking off with her, he needs to cut off all contact with her (ie. de-friending her on Facebook, not answering her calls, etc). He got rid of his Facebook account all together, but still talks to her.

He has a lot of abandonment issues relating to his father abusing him (having sex with women in front of him when he was a kid), kidnapping him, asking for ransom and then not fighting to have limited visitation rights.

I don't know what else I can do to help him. He knows that she is not good for him and that he deserves better. Poor guy is hurting!

Bernadette

Maybe hand him the number to local AlAnon and then let it go.

Until he is hurting badly enough he may just stay in this relationship.

Maybe make a reliable date with him where you do something "not insane!" like hang out in the bookstore or coffee shop, see a movie, go to a play or art gallery/museum, or for a walk, bike ride or hike....

Must be very painful to watch.....
(((hugs)))
b

Spiritual Seeker

Just be friendly
He will change only when ready...when he's had enough.
Don't let his choice get you obsessing abt. his life.