katie44

Update on AS he went to a 1 year progam last month, he walked out after 5 days. His excuse " the religious part of the progarm" Some of the residents were praying for him and he said he was creeped out. The pastor picked him up at the bus stop and took him back to the christian's family home he has been staying with. They have put some restrictions on him, he must attend school he is 22 but did not finish high school, or he must get a job. Well the ever so enabling me had him for dinner at Thanksgiving. i felt guilty all the family were here. We had a great day. With AS you give him an inch he takes a mile. Last week he was at school wich is close to my home. he climbed through my window and spent the day in our home doing nothing. I told him next time I would call the police. Last sunday we see him at church and i think " Oh he's trying" so my spouse and I spend the afternoon with him and have lunch. Well ysterday again I am on-line banking again he stole a cheque from me. He cashed 150.00 forged my signature. It was in my wallet. cant figure out how he got it. I thought i had my purse with me. I am so sick of hearing its the drug! What a sneak and a manipulator. Yesterday I went to the courts and applied for a restraining order from our wrok and home. He called and I told him. He was furious, he said he needed me to be in court next week to drop another chq. charge with the new order and me not dropping the charges he was going to jail. When he was in program my spouse and I agreed to drop the charges, however he is using again and I am not a fool. I have call blocked him, he is calling and threating to ruin my business, and destroy our home life unless I do what he wants.
I dont want to see him, talk to him I can not believe what a manipulator he is. To top it off the family he is staying with has had some incidences there not sure of like there 8 year old son saved 7.00 in his piggy bank it's gone. Guess who. He is about to find him self on the street. It will be the first time. I suppose i wanted his recovery more then him. My daughter is missing money from our home this week, sure it was him. $10,000.00 just this year what is wrong with me that I would continually believe his charming, cunning ways. I feel Like a fool.

Ann

What's wrong with you, Katie, is what's wrong with most of us...we want so bad to believe in them and hope that they have changed...even when they haven't. What you did, you did out of kindness, not foolishness. That he took advantage of you rests on him, not you. His consequences rest on him too, until he learns that he cannot go through life conning people, he will continue to do it. Jail may be God's way of holding him still long enough to think about what his life has become.

Each lesson I learned was harder than the one before because there came a time when I knew I had left myself vulnerable. Letting go was hard too, because I was afraid for him and for myself too. Until I realized that I was hanging on to an illusion, that the son I used to know was no longer there.

Sending big hugs and keeping you and your son in my prayers.

helpformyson

Katie,
I was fooled and manipulated by my AS over and over again. I bailed him out of jail 4 times and kept letting him move back into my home. He is now living on someone's couch and where he ends up from there, who knows. He is scheduled to go in front of a judge next week for his last stupid choice and quite honestly, I am hoping they put him in jail. I will no longer allow him to move in, give him one more red cent (of my hard earned money), or assist him in getting to or into rehab. His problems and bad choices have negatively impacted my life to the point of feeling like I was going over the edge.
I am seeing a counsler and it helps. I have been one of my son's biggest enemies in continuously helping him. It took me years to finally figure out that his addiction was also killing me and I had to seperate from it. I love him with all my heart and tell him all the time, but will no longer help him in any way. I don't care what he says or promises. Actions speak louder than words.

outtolunch

Back when....my stuff would become MIA. One morning it was my AMex Card. My daughter helped me look for it. She went with me to the gas station where I last used it, thinking I might have left it there. Oh I was in a tizzy.

Later that day I noticed that a VISA card had gone missing. Again, my daughter helped me look for it.

Man she was good. I made the connection.

The reason she targeted me was because she knew I would be the last person to call the police and file a report because I did not want to ruin her life. Back then, I thought I had control over her life.

I was mistaken.

JMFburns

Katie,

I'm sorry you're continuing to be hurt by your son. Would changing your house locks and not leaving any windows open & unlocked when no ones home help?

Seems like you are ready to proceed with NOT dropping charges against him, that does seem like the right step to take at this point. He really needs to learn that there are consequences to his actions, even if he takes those actions against his own family.

Good luck.

Serenity Bound

Katie, they are very very good! Just as the others and you, I too have been manipulated so many times I can't count them anymore. I agree with changing the locks, locking all entries and being loving enough to call the police if he breaks in. Yep, I said loving enough, sad but true, they need to face the consequences of their actions.

Hugs,
Chris