tammy711

I am in the very early stage of recovery. Now that I have resolution that I am an alcoholic and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I need God's help to find life long sobriety, I find myself so bored out of my mind. My counselor calls this being a "dry drunk". I find myself understanding that term, but uncertain how to change it. I want to live more fully, but nothing sounds appealing. I don't mean it doesn't sound appealing because I can't drink - I just don't feel like doing too much. Should I just force myself to do something?

Has anyone else experienced this early on in their recovery and if so, what did you do to get past it?

Anna

I felt bruised, battered and vulnerable when I stopped drinking.

I had to force myself to do something, I really did.

I was blessed to find a volunteer opportunity working with homeless women and I know that it was not a coincidence that I found it. It SO helped me to turn my life around and to get outside of myself. I made some amazing friends and learned so much.

NewBeginning010

to SR Tammy. What kind of things did you use to like doing before your alcoholism set in?

I have been going to a lot of fun active events at a site called Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com hiking, biking, tennis etc.

All of the best.

NB

Dee74

Hi Tammy

like Anna I really had to force myself to do stuff cos I knew if I didn't I'd go back under...so I did my own version of fake it til you make it...it involved a lot of time here for a start..

Theres a sticky in this forum about things to do when sober - check it out
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

Welcome to you
D

stephnc

I wonder if you have some degree of clinical depression? I know that a lot of alcoholics have mental issues whose symptoms are masked by their drinking...not saying that's necessarily the case with you but if you haven't talked to a doctor about this it would probably be a good idea to do so.

thirtybubba

Tammy, hi, and I second the question.

Can I do that?

Anyways, I have also been bored out of my mind. Since the school semester started again, less so, but the weekends have not went well for me.

The list Dee linked to has some suggestions, otherwise, all I can suggest is think back to what you used to like to do.

Good luck & take care,

-TB, doing homework XP

tommyk

I dove headfirst into the steps, got really involved with AA.

tallcactus

Y need f2f meeting..
U need 2 B around others alcoholic's and get what they have.
Try a AA meeting, work the steps.
Stay strong. ODAAT.

Aysha

I always thought a dry drunk meant they stopped drinking but had the same thinking and behaviors. That you had to work more on yourself than just putting the drink down.
I guess doing things other than what you did drinking is part of it.
Your in very early recovery. I think alot of people get like that. I know I was always like that. I could be bored at Disney World at times. I didnt want to do anything.
I am in very early recovery too. For the umpteenth time. This time I have made myself be more social with my family. My friends. My coworkers. I am incorporating little things into my routine little by little. I went to a concert (Cruefest) last week for the first time in liek 14 yrs. It was freakin awesome.
I have reconnected with some old friends from school. And once I got out of my shell and just took that first peek out into the world of the living. It was great.
It felt good and "NORMAL". I felt liek I use to before my life became a wreck.
It gave me that much more hope to keep going.
Its still early. I think it is normal.
But dont just sit idle or you will become bitter and resentful. And that is dangerous ground.
Just do one thing at a time. Little by little. Then it will just become habit to do things and activities or whatever.
Welcome.

tammy711

Thank you everyone for the feedback and information. I liked the 'fake it till ya make it' concept. My husband is very active and he is always asking me to go golf, cycling, or to the driving range. I always say, "no", maybe next time I will surprise him and say "yes".

yeahgr8

I'm at a bit of a loose end today so i rang my sponsor to meet for coffee later, one of the many perks of AA;-)

littlefish

I certainly can relate to having "flat" days in sobriety. Somedays I feel uninterested, unmotivated and bored. I think it is a mixture of recovery and simply that I am not a particularly enthusiastic person, sober or drunk.

One tool I use to get over those moments when I feel unmotivated is to push myself to get started. Once I start an activity, I tend to get interested in it and can see it through to the end.

Charmie

hello tammy,i think you saying yes to your husband next time he asks if you would like to do one of these activities sounds like a great idea,time with the hubby too.im also in AA as others have mentioned here.i dove straight into the steps also.now i am happy,joyous and free and never lonely or bored.i have had two visits today from AA friends,and i made a lemon cake for the second visit so we had tea and cream cake,,,yum.i meet up with pals at least once a week for lunch (we go to the indian which has a very cheap set price at lunchtime!).and i have taken up gardening this year,i have discovered i have green fingers and my garden has been a delight! a riot of colour all summer.i read alot and i cook and have been decorating too.all this sounds such alot,i have only been sober just short of 8 months,but as a result of the 12 steps of AA my life is never dull now,,,i know how to live.magic.i wish you well,if i can be of any help to you please give me a pm.

karma79

I'm still pretty early.. on day 15 .. but I can't sit around the house anymore like I used to. I''ve been doing yard work or going hiking or SOMETHING to keep my mind occupied. A lot of this stuff I used to enjoy and I am now slowly getting back in to it. I am literally dying to go kayaking. My goal for next year is to either kayak the arkansas river or a portion of the mississippi river. If I could enough time off work, I'd try for the whole thing

tiac26

Hi Tammy.. I completely understand where you're coming from!! I'm in the early stages of recovery too and some days I'm so bored out of my mind. I used to look forward to drinking every night and now that I don't do that anymore, I've found myself searching for other things to get excited about. I have to make a conscious effort to say yes when people ask me to do things. Most of the time they don't sound overly appealing, but I find that just getting out of the house and doing something (even if it's not something I particularly want to do) helps. Hopefully it gets easier for us over time!

jamdls

Hi Tammy, change takes TIME you have to be patient and no that's not easy. I lived with a drink in my hand for over 30 yrs and had no clue how to do anything w/o a drink and didn't know who I was w/o, I couldn't imagine enjoying anything w/o that drink. Through lots of reading/counseling/prayer I gradually figured out who I was, it took 12-18 months to truly evolve and I continue to grow and I expect this new "job" of mine will take me the rest of my life. Now, just 2 yrs later I can't imagine how I managed to do anything Drunk, everything is so much better sober.

keithj

My experience echos what charmian said. In bouts of 'sodryiety' in between drinking bouts, I was always irritable and bored. Restless too. I'd hear people talk about needing to find things to fill up the drinking hours with something productive or fun. But nothing seemed like fun. Like you said, nothing was attractive.

When I became hopeless and desperate; when I knew that I was doomed to drink again instead of believing that I could replace drinking with something else, I worked the 12 steps like my life depended on it. I didn't give a single thought to finding other activities.

And this amazing transformation occurred. Life became fun and meaningful. I took interest in old activities, and stumbled into new ones I'd never thought of before. It was almost like these activities found me.

Recovery=life. Fully engage in the first, and you fully engage in the second just as a by-product.

NewBeginning010

Jareni

I think everyone new to sobriety feels that way. I think the first thing you could do is to stat feeling good about yourself. Start exrecising. Join a fitness club. Meet some new positive minded people. This could bring on some new interests for you. How bout meditation? Good luck!

Mike

justanothrdrunk

It's easy for me to confuse boredom with serenity. Now that there's no drunken drama in my life, things seem to be not all that exciting anymore.

I've realized that it's not that I'm bored. There's just no drama.