cjsg

Hello Everyone

Although I had over a year of sobriety before in 2000, I moved to mexico, stopped working on my recovery and soon embarked on a little controlled using that, of course, erupted into about 9 years of even greater addiction and ended up living in a house similar to those shown on that hoarding TV show. I was living in squalor and filth, not eating and I had graduated to IV use of tramadol and xanax. A bout of phlebitis and severe blood poisoning and malnutritiion followed. An anonymous person came to me at that time and literally saved my life. I managed to return to the states. Due to monetary issues I was unable to afford a detox or inpatient care, so a friend of mine who is an addict and an addiction specialist started me on suboxome. I have tapered down to 4 mg with very few problems. I have the cruddy feeling for a few days after each taper but I do not let myself be bothered with that. Since starting this Suboxone I have spent a lot of time here on these forums, reading recovery related things online, and I have been to AA, NA meetings that have helped me make enormous progress. I have started exercising everyday and I love it. The problem is that I seem to have hit a slump. I feel really stupid as I most assuredly had to pass through this stage before in 2000, but I cannot, for the life of me, figure this one out.

I do not see old friends, and I had developed some new coping mechanisms. I am forced to live with my family at the moment and my mother and I have a close but conflictive relationship. I am consciously trying to react to life and its challenges in a manner different than I did beffore but I have the nagging feeling that I need somoene to teach me some new tricks. It has also crossed my mind that this may just be a period where I am just going to have to sit with my things aand wait until the good ole higher power makes me aware of what I should do and when to do it. But I am just full of doubt, and due to m inability to process all this I find myself at this spot where, in the past, I would just go take some drugs. The desire to do that isn't uncontrollable, and I m not going to do this, I am just aware that this right here what I am going thru is something I don't have the tools to deal with. Any ideas? I still remain as determined as ever to continue to taper off this suboxone and follow thru with the IoP and the meeting,but I feel as if I'm trying to hard to progress and have made advances yet I haven't been able to alleviate something there in my head yet and I do feel rather depressed, but I'm not ready to give up yet at all! I know, without a doubt, that there is a way out of this.

Chris
I have spoken with and 8 week outpatient program, and for the last month I have been working. My family is good enough to allow me to save all the money I earn to pay for my IoP and my mother is willing to help all she can, however it looks like It may be another two weeks until I'm able to pay the first payment.

Anna

Oh yes, the slumps, they can be so disconcerting can't they!

I have had numerous slumps and I have learned that a slump is not a period of no growth. Actually, for me, after a prolonged slump, I always have a growth spurt. I think that the body, mind and soul need some time to process what is happening. And, in fact, I think the subconcious mind is working in the background on moving to another level.

My suggestion is to keep on taking care of yourself physically, mentally and spiritually, each and every day. Hang in there and things will work out.

Dee74

I completely agree with Anna.

It took me a while to get that recovery is not always as linear as we'd like it to be.

There's a lot of waiting for trains to go by and the occasional detour involved - but they're not stagnant periods if we're committed to growth, cisg. Change is not an event - it's a process...and it's not always on our timetable.

The important thing is to remember you're different now - we can't use our old methods to break the slump - we have to find new healthy ways to cope now...and a bit of patience.

And if you find yourself full of doubt and you think maybe you lack the entire 200 pc toolbox - do what you're doing now - check in and bounce it around - both here, and at your face to face support.

I think it's normal cisg - stay focused, keep reaching out, don't give in, and you'll be on the move again

D

tallcactus

((cjsg))
U R doing great, this is working 4 U. Hang in there, stay strong. Get to a NA/AA meeting, talk about what U have shared here. This slump will pass, I promise.